Fag-hags, Dyke-tykes

kishkash · 05-10-2005, 03:14

Ok so im kinda half heartedly watching the Passionate Eye which is this journalistic news program that comes on here. Tonight the topic of Passionate Eye-ism is Fag Hags...the reclamation of the meaning of the phrase.

It got me wondering. There's a term for women who hang around gay guys. I know gay men usually surround themselves with female friends...but what about the lesbos...

Is there a term for lesbos being friends with guys? is that even the case? are they more prone to be friends with the fellers or the fellettes?

ur opinion is valuable to me! so share it

razormaid · 05-10-2005, 15:29

Hey, I dunno about other places, but here in Australia, we sometimes call the guys (usually straight and gorgeous) that hang around with gay guys 'man-bags'...

I don't see why lesbians can't have 'man-bags' too..!!

(I think this stems from using 'hand-bag' as an alternative to 'fag-hag')

Khatharsis · 05-10-2005, 15:42

I'm personally more prone to being friends with (straight) guys because I can't stand (no offense) the really feminine boys that seem to be the majority here on campus. I'm not sure if there is a term, though.. but that's just me.

haku · 05-10-2005, 16:42

Quote:

Originally Posted by kishkash

It got me wondering. There's a term for women who hang around gay guys. I know gay men usually surround themselves with female friends...but what about the lesbos...

Yeah, like you said, fag-hags are straight women who hang out with gay men, the opposite is dyke-stags, straight men who hang out with lesbians.

I believe dyke-stags are much rarer than fag-hags though, probably because it's quite easy for a gay man to trust and be friend with a straight woman, but much more difficult for a lesbian to trust and be friend with a straight man.

For a straight man, being friend with lesbians can be a lot of fun, they obviously share some common interests and since nothing sexual can't ever happen, it's a relaxed friendship. Of course there are some downsides, being straight and male, he'll never be fully accepted by the group, he'll often feel left out, obviously he'll never get any action while having to listen to his lesbian friends talking about their sex lives, and if by some miracle he manages to find a girlfriend, he has a good chance of seeing one of his friends steal her from him.

haku · 05-10-2005, 17:30

And come on people! kishkash is asking a simple enough question: "Do lesbians have straight male friends?"… This forum is full of lesbians, you'd think that there would be some replies…

What does that mean? That no, lesbians don't ever have straight male friends?

Rachel · 05-10-2005, 17:32

Me? Erm....well I prefer to socialise with fellow lezzies

haku · 05-10-2005, 17:38

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ice_Cream

Me? Erm....well I prefer to socialise with fellow lezzies

Thanks for replying!

I knew i could count on your frankness.

You're most probably saying aloud what the other lesbians are thinking quietly.

rosh · 05-10-2005, 18:16

i prefer socialising with guys than girls. ironically i dont click all that well with women ... [i dont get it either]

my best friend is my ex girlfriend though. she knows me better than anyone does after knowing each other for 7 years. and my other closest friends are an assortment of straight and gay men. i do have female friends, but the close friendships tend to be with men

madeldoe · 05-10-2005, 18:19

well as for moi..its all of the above i hang with all folks on the sexual orientation spectrum LOL. but i guess in my most innerest circles of inner circles

the 3 people that i hang out with the most are my gf, my [supposedly] straight friend that is a girl [LOL], and a gay friend. 2 dykes + a gay man + a straight girl = the funniest shit ever!

anyway..to answer the question..yes i have alot of straight male friends. i found myself always left to hang out with the boys because first off, they were all bboys..and id rather watch them practice than go to the quad and talk to "cute" boys. so actually during high school, i hung out with the boys more so than my girl friends. plus i had to try and dress up four very manly boys and make them look pretty for a an airband show..so that allowed for some bonding time. they were all color coordinated and such, it was the ugliest thing ever.

Kappa · 05-10-2005, 18:25

Quote:

Originally Posted by haku

And come on people! kishkash is asking a simple enough question: "Do lesbians have straight male friends?"… This forum is full of lesbians, you'd think that there would be some replies… What does that mean? That no, lesbians don't ever have straight male friends?

60% of my friends are male and straight. However, my best male friends are gay (four of them) or bisexual (two of them). I don't know why, I just relate better to them than to straight guys, mainly because my gay and bi friends are cultured, funny guys, with whom I can talk without worries, and a good portion of my straight male friends are a bit of troglodytes.

Also should mention that I hang out with them, not them with me. It's a majority of straight guys with one lezzie hanging around.

Rachel · 05-10-2005, 18:45

My problem with most straight men is that their mentality and way they see women pisses me off.

Khartoun2004 · 05-10-2005, 18:59

Haku , I'm kind of curious as to where you found out about the term "Dyke-Stags" because I always thought straight men that hung around lesbians were dyke tykes?

And 95% of my friends are either gay men or lesbians

haku · 05-10-2005, 19:05

Quote:

Originally Posted by Khartoun2004

Haku , I'm kind of curious as to where you found out about the term "Dyke-Stags" because I always thought straight men that hung around lesbians were dyke tykes?

Oh my, i really don't know, i've heard it somewhere, probably in some American TV show, it's not like i coud make up something like that, i don't even really know what "stag" mean as a standalone word.

Dyke-tyke? At least that sounds good, what does "tyke" mean? Probably not something very nice i'm afraid.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Khartoun2004

And 95% of my friends are either gay men or lesbians

I think that's generally the case.

nath · 05-10-2005, 20:10

Quote:

Originally Posted by haku

"Do lesbians have straight male friends?"… This forum is full of lesbians, you'd think that there would be some replies… What does that mean? That no, lesbians don't ever have straight male friends?

Indeed the men I loved the most were gay....I've met them in the "real life" ...never in some clubs...and I was attracted by them, even when I didn't know they were gay...I don't know why...because they often are funny, both with black humour and sensitive......and because a lot of them are indeed often very sad behind their funny apparence...

Think it might be more difficult to be an homosexual man than an homosexuel woman...cause in this male world a lot of things are linked to the Physical....I mean the external aspect...and becoming older in such conditions is harder for men than women...

Seriously speaking, I always thought that to be gay was both a disavantage and an advantage:
- a disadvandage 'cause you learn what is loneliness and suffering....I mean before you make your coming out...you know you have to keep that just for you and you're confronted to pure and stupid nastiness....
- an advantage for the same reasons... because to be face to such reactions or could destroy you or could give you strengh...whatever, it makes you think....when you are alone cause you know you can't say everything , even to your close friends....you think a lot ....I mean you have to make questions and answers alone....as you don't have immediately an answer from others to arrive to your conclusion ...you think deeper....

sorry I can't find the good words to express my thoughts....
I think each "difference" makes you think deeper about feelings , about reactions , relations between people...and it's interesting to build yourself....

So I've never met an homosexual person who wasn't hurt inside...who had no failure, sadness which was stayed inside her/him......

I think I'm attracted by gay men 'cause all is simplier in the way that all the feelings can be expressed deeply , without "playing games".....because they are "without danger"....It's like the relations you can have with your little or big brother, full of tenderness and truth....

I can't have the same relations with straight men. There is always a fence between me and them...I 've built and I keep this fence, I admit it......

Why? Not at all because I don't like men!.....Just because of the experiment!!......
I've tried!!....and EACH TIME....I had the same problem: I'm not a sex symbole at all but if I act naturelly with a man, if I manisfest physically my tenderness for him, if I speak truly and deeply about feelings...I have a love declaration at the end!.......

May be not right now!!! hihi.....

...it's a long time I've decided to adopt a more distant attitude with straight men...cause it's tiring and really heavy when you see this kind of things arriving...after you have to discuss , to explain that it isn't possible and it leaves always wounds in the other...

So my friends are mostly straight women....mostly, the women I've loved and who are stayed my best friends.

Khartoun2004 · 05-10-2005, 20:13

Quote:

Originally Posted by haku

Dyke-tyke? At least that sounds good, what does "tyke" mean? Probably not something very nice i'm afraid.

.

It's actually supposed to be an endearing term for straight men that hang out with lesbians, but don't want to sleep with them. Most of them consider it an honor when a lesbian claims them as her tyke.

As to what tyke means... I'm not quite sure about it in this context.

haku · 05-10-2005, 20:23

Quote:

Originally Posted by nath

I can't have the same relations with straight men. There is always a fence between me and them...I 've built and I keep this fence, I admit it......

Why? Not at all because I don't like men!.....Just because of the experiment!!......
I've tried!!....and EACH TIME....I had the same problem: I'm not a sex symbole at all but if I act naturelly with a man, if I manisfest physically my tenderness for him, if I speak truly and deeply about feelings...I have a love declaration at the end!.......

May be not right now!!! hihi..... ...it's a long time I've decided to adopt a more distant attitude with straight men...cause it's tiring and really heavy when you see this kind of things arriving...after you have to discuss , to explain that it isn't possible and it leaves always wounds in the other...

Yeah, most people say that it's impossible for straight men to have a true friendship with straight women, well, apparently it's not really possible with gay women either.

Thanks for the honest anwser as always.

nath · 05-10-2005, 20:40

Quote:

Originally Posted by haku

Yeah, most people say that it's impossible for straight men to have a true friendship with straight women,

I believe that too....Think there can be a real tenderness between a straight men and a straight women if they've had before a story which is finished now....

If not.....relations between men and women follow some rules, some codes for generations....
and it's difficult to escape to them...except if you speak to your boss in your job ...
there, the hierachy can replace the sexual code....but....if not....when a woman speaks freely to a man, it means that "she " accepts his advances...the society has changed a lot but the rules of relations between men and women have stayed during such a long time, that they stay always somewhere in our brains and in our education....

And such a lot of things are linked to sexuality in our relations....this sexuality can be shown or driven back..but it is very often always there in all the kinds of relations...
So it is very difficult to drive.

shizzo · 05-10-2005, 20:52

Quote:

As to what tyke means...

We call little kids "tikes", so it's sort of got an affectionate connotation. The
variant "tyke" would understandably be preferred in this context.

As for my group of friends, I don't hang out with one group exclusively more
than another. I get along with mostly anybody and just collectively refer to
them as "my bitches".

haku · 05-10-2005, 21:27

Quote:

Originally Posted by nath

I believe that too....Think there can be a real tenderness between a straight men and a straight women if they've had before a story which is finished now....

If not.....relations between men and women follow some rules, some codes for generations....

Yeah, i had a few close straight female friends when i was younger, and then they all got steady boyfriends, and well… boyfriends don't like their girlfriends to have close male friends… so those friendships ended.

nikki · 05-10-2005, 23:56

My best friend is a straight bloke - I reckon that makes me unusual then !