My first attempt at poetry....

[madsquirrel]

This is my first attempt really at poetry...be brutally honest please...

If Only...

Your memory
Your face
Invade my mind
They haunt me
Like it was yesterday
If only I could
Have one more day
If only I could
See you once more
The memories
Of times we were happy
Of times with no worries
But now you're gone
And there's nothing I can do
If only I could
Have made every second count
If only I could
Have made you happier
Maybe I could have
Convinced you to stay
Maybe if I had
Done things differently
You would still be here with me
If only I could
Stop the pain
If only I could
Change the way I feel today

[bgirlnikki]

Well, it's ok. I think it needs more..... I don't know, just more.

[madsquirrel]

thanks bgirlnikki. i kinda saw that too, but i'm not really sure where i'm going with it, or even where i went with it...