What’s your opinion on gay/bi/trans?

[freddie]

Originally Posted by Argos

I like this wood and meadow psychology. What's with this one? Bisexual means no aversion against a gender, that doesn't mean, that there is no preference (like with right and lefthanded: most people prefer one hand to a more or less extent, but 50:50 is extremely rare.)

Never saw any 'typical' difference between gay - straight - bi, except the sexuality itself, so simply all the same.

I wasn't even considering 50:50. Even 70:30 would be an achievement. Most people out there only have one particular gender they'd be willing to have a serious relationship with while there's a bigger option an individual would be at least attracted to both sexes.

Originally Posted by Nath

Is there a Tatu.ru English poll too?

Offtop:
Corrected

____

Those results sure do look interesting, don't they? It's weird a few russian people have bad connotations about gay people considering we're on a TATU forum. o_0

[QueenBee]

It's weird a few russian people have bad connotations about gay people considering we're on a TATU forum. o_0

What do you expect from us Slavic people?
Kidding.

[forre]

Originally Posted by nath

Is there a Tatu.ru English poll too?

Not the same one but maybe a similar one. I didn't check.

[Argos]

Originally Posted by freddie

I wasn't even considering 50:50. Even 70:30 would be an achievement. Most people out there only have one particular gender they'd be willing to have a serious relationship with while there's a bigger option an individual would be at least attracted to both sexes.

It seems that it has something to do with personal identity and emotional stability. Maybe these cause a strong selection effect toward a fixed preferred gender from a principially not rigidly fixed gender orientation.

[spyretto]

I think they're pretty weird...as Americans are stupid, Arabs evil, Scots stingy, Greeks lazy, Germans racist, Japanese violent, etc. It's all from the same mould.

[volkotina]

Originally Posted by freddie

I wasn't even considering 50:50. Even 70:30 would be an achievement. Most people out there only have one particular gender they'd be willing to have a serious relationship with while there's a bigger option an individual would be at least attracted to both sexes.

Well, I consider myself to be a pretty self-aware person and I would have to say that if I labeled myself anything it would have to be a "true" bisexual. Had my fiance been a man, I can unequivocally state that I would have been just as in love and committed to him. My attraction to a person is based upon my attraction to his/her personality. Personally, the way my mind works, I could never be with someone based on physical appearance alone and find that if there is something about someone's personality that I perceive to be ugly, that's it for me...no more attraction. (And I state that truly and genuinely, I have always been that way. I am not saying this to appear more "open-minded.") However, I could be with someone who is not conventionally physically attractive, but their personality and soul are beautiful. That is what makes someone beautiful and makes me both emotionally and sexually attracted to an individual (and I have and continue to be attracted to both men and women). Thus, for me at least, if this person is male or female has no bearing on my desire to be in a relationship with them. Again, had my fiance been a man, I truly believe I would be every bit in love with him as I am with her. I've never felt a connection to another like I do to her and had she not been female, I simply cannot fathom not wanting to explore that connection in a romantic way.

And I do realize that other's feel similar as far as what's on the inside matters most, but that they could only see themselves being with either the same or the opposite sex. I don't know what else to say but that I am just not programmed that way (perhaps I am a "true" bisexual. ). I have always been attracted and had connections to men and that is what made it so hard for me to realize that I was anything other than heterosexual. It wasn't until I realized that my feelings for certain women were the same as my feelings for certain men and that I did not have to choose either/or, that I became comfortable with my own sexuality.

So, I guess what I am trying to say in a most long-winded way , is that there are those of us who might be labeled bisexual who truly are open to having a serious, committed relationship with either gender. And I do not know how common it is, but I know that I am not alone. I have met others who feel the same as I.

[Sean Jon]

Originally Posted by Obezyanki

Well, same as everybody else,,,,in the inside and physically too.....but surely for people who are not used to share time with them being gay, bi and trans is not that OK,,,,, I don't mind,,,, but to be honest I don't undestand trans,,,, sorry if I'm ignorant but can't get why change your body,,,, being with a guy which wants you because you look like a girl,,,, Maybe they like to feel themselves like girls /boys when they're not. Well, everybody's lifes are so precious,,,, we're all the same and deserve respect. So wether I don't understand it,,, who am I,,, just a human being like you, and them,,,, take care everybody,,,,,,,

I agree with you to an extent. I have absoluetely no problem with transexuals, I just don't understand why they would want to.

[PowerPuff Grrl]

Originally Posted by Tatutaty

I have absoluetely no problem with transexuals, I just don't understand why they would want to.

Though I can't speak for them I think they genuinely feel that they were born into the wrong body and can only identify with the oppsite sex.

As for the whole bisexual issue, I too have heard a lot of the resentment that gay people have for bisexuals. One thing that took me by surprise was Dan Savage, this gay American sex advice columnist, mentioned that he changed his views on bisexuals from believing they didn't exist to saying that they'd eventually settle on the opposite sex. Also the writers for the L Word seem to think that bisexual women go to men for the fucking and hop over to women for the love. And finally I guess Anne Heche didn't really do much for the bi representation,... or even the gay representation effort, which is a shame because us straight people don't want her either.

So yeah, I guess bisexuals like yourself volkotina aren't really being seen that often which can only mean that you'll have to stick around this forum for a while because honestly, WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?! Dude, I haven't seen you, in like, ever!

PS: You know I was about to vote for the Hitler option because I thought it was funny, in it being over the top. As if "Disgusting" wasn't already homophobic enough. But what the hell, more than one person voted for it in the Russain site? That's fucked up.

[volkotina]

Originally Posted by PowerPuff Grrl

Though I can't speak for them I think they genuinely feel that they were born into the wrong body and can only identify with the oppsite sex.

There's a really great show that I saw last fall on Sundance about just this issue. I'm sure some of you have seen it and it might have been mentioned before, but if not, you should really check it out: Transgeneration. Another really great documentary about transsexuals: Southern Comfort.

Originally Posted by PowerPuff Grrl

As for the whole bisexual issue, I too have heard a lot of the resentment that gay people have for bisexuals. One thing that took me by surprise was Dan Savage, this gay American sex advice columnist, mentioned that he changed his views on bisexuals from believing they didn't exist to saying that they'd eventually settle on the opposite sex. Also the writers for the L Word seem to think that bisexual women go to men for the fucking and hop over to women for the love. And finally I guess Anne Heche didn't really do much for the bi representation,... or even the gay representation effort, which is a shame because us straight people don't want her either.

I think the problem with the label bisexual (other than labels just suck) is that it is used quite frequently by people who are just exploring. People feel the need to put a label on their activities and so bisexual it is. Four examples: 1) Someone may call themselves “bisexual” when either he/she is unsure, confused, or just uncomfortable with his/her sexuality but most likely would ultimately classify themselves as hetero/homosexual when all is said and done. 2) There are people who are interested in having sexual relationships with both sexes at the same time…which may be a type of bisexual but I personally don’t know enough about that to comment on it. 3) This is predominately a female phenomenon, where females call themselves “bisexual,” kiss and touch another female, not for their own pleasure but as a way to attract a male’s attention. Or as my fiance says, “a straight mating tactic.” 4) Lastly, people who just have sex with someone of the same sex for the pleasure of the moment but never see themselves having a serious relationship with that individual. However, paradoxically, many men who would fit into this category would never call themselves anything other than heterosexual.

Then you have people who consider themselves to be truly bisexual and have had long term relationships with either both or one sex. However, due to the long term nature of the relationship, other people view them as either hetero/homosexual while they are in that relationship. For example, no matter how many times she or I tell my fiance’s parents that we’re bisexual, they continue to be surprised when one of us says we find a man “hot“. It’s quite frustrating. Secondly, as someone who is bisexual, it is often easier to allow people to assume I am a lesbian because 1) at times, I find it tedious to attempt to explain my sexuality, 2) I don’t want it to appear as though being perceived a lesbian is a bad thing, and 3) often saying I am bisexual seems to give the connotation to some that I don’t view my relationship as committed. I can only assume that like me, many bisexuals do not declare themselves as such for these reasons.

Offtop:

Originally Posted by PowerPuff Grrl

So yeah, I guess bisexuals like yourself volkotina aren't really being seen that often which can only mean that you'll have to stick around this forum for a while because honestly, WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?! Dude, I haven't seen you, in like, ever!

I’ve always been here lurking, but as evidenced above, I tend to not be able to stop once I start and that can be rather time consuming (and no doubt annoying to those who like posts short and sweet). There have been several times where I’ve been inclined to post but ultimately never do. I have no clue why I did this time, actually. I’m flattered you remembered me.

[marina]

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."

[freddie]

I guess volkotina you and your gf (I dunno if I can say her name publically on the forum) are one of a kind.
It's trully a rare thing for a person to be able to say they'd venture into a relationship with a person regardless of gender. In a way true bisexuals are the only real merit when it comes to the concept of "loving people for who they are as a person". Cause our gender hardly defines who we are and yet most of us still make decisions regarding our significant others based on it. Most of us other people who're not bisexual like that are slight hypocrits since we don't follow through with our high-flying statements how we're only interested in THE PERSON. While that's hardly the case with most of the population.

There's also the pitfall for any bisexual out there to be considered naturally greedy and consequencially promiscous (the infamous i-want-it-all mentality). Not only that, some people will suggest bisexuals will neer be able to commit since there'll always be that "what-if" factor about the gender they're not currently with. While I think the promiscuity argument is ridiculous (straight/gay people have equal opportunities to cheat as well), I think the second arguument (about bisexuals never being trully fullfilled) is more plausable with SOME people. It could potencially play a huge role with some bisexual people especially if the relationship wasn't perfect to begin with (And by perfect I don't mean a relationship that's not a worthwhile one... just not exactly the soul-mate kind like volkotina has with her lover.) In such an average relationship doubts probably start forming sooner than they would with 100% straight/100% gay people. At least imo.

[spyretto]

Well, sorry that i can't follow the discussion ( too much reading ) but I guess Anne Heche and Angelina Jolie didn't help the bisexual cause much - as they both settled with husbands. Was Freddie Mercury bisexual or just gay?
As for the poll, thanks for the addition of the "I don't care" choice: this is it, I can finally vote!

[dradeel]

Originally Posted by spyretto

Was Freddie Mercury bisexual or just gay?

He was gay I believe.

[freddie]

Originally Posted by spyretto

Well, sorry that i can't follow the discussion ( too much reading ) but I guess Anne Heche and Angelina Jolie didn't help the bisexual cause much - as they both settled with husbands.

Indeed they didn't. Though Angelina's bisexuality is a currious thing to me. He just said she did some experiementing in college. That's hardly considered "bisexual" already. Bi-currious maybe. I'd almost say Angelina's bisexuality is nothing but an urban myth.

Originally Posted by spyretto

Was Freddie Mercury bisexual or just gay?!

We wasn't homosexual, bisexual nor heterosexual... he was just very sexual. ... Seriously I think he fancied men more, yet strangely the love of his life was a woman called Mary Austin. They lived together for 7 years before splitting up but he still left her everything in his will.

[spyretto]

Originally Posted by freddie

We wasn't homosexual, bisexual nor heterosexual... he was just very sexual. ... Seriously I think he fancied men more, yet strangely the love of his life was a woman called Mary Austin. They lived together for 7 years before splitting up but he still left her everything in his will.

Yeah, maybe men end up as gay and women as straight...just a through.

[freddie]

Originally Posted by spyretto

Yeah, maybe men end up as gay and women as straight...just a through.

You mean as a general rule?

[volkotina]

Originally Posted by spyretto

but I guess Anne Heche and Angelina Jolie didn't help the bisexual cause much - as they both settled with husbands.

I have no clue as to what Anne Heche's and Angelina Jolie's sexuality truly is. But if they really are bisexual, the fact that they have both been in relationships with women but are currently with men does not preclude them from bisexuality. Who is to say that if their current relationship ends, they will not be open to then having a committed relationship with a female?

Originally Posted by spyretto

Yeah, maybe men end up as gay and women as straight...just a through.

When a truly bisexual man or woman ends up with a man...how does that make them any less bisexual?

As I said before, I believe that is one of the biggest issues with people understanding bisexuality...the need to label someone's sexuality based upon their current relationship. If a person is truly bisexual, then it is quite likely he/she would have had relationships with both sexes. Maybe a person has had more relationships with someone of the opposite sex, but they are currently with a female. Many would see this person as a lesbian. That is the issue...this person does not consider themselves a lesbian, but it doesn't mean others will not view her as such. So, if this person's relationship ends and she then enters a relationship with a man...it does not make her heterosexual; but again, others may view her as just that. That is why I feel this is such a big issue and a very big reason why some do not understand bisexuals.

An example: A female who is bisexual has been in a committed relationship with a man but that relationship ended and she is now in a committed relationship with a woman that will last the rest of her life. Most now view her as a lesbian. So, could this be a reason why so many people feel that a bisexual woman will end up with a man...because they have no clue this presumed "lesbian" living next door to them is in fact bisexual?

[madeldoe]

Originally Posted by freddie

Indeed they didn't. Though Angelina's bisexuality is a currious thing to me. He just said she did some experiementing in college. That's hardly considered "bisexual" already. Bi-currious maybe. I'd almost say Angelina's bisexuality is nothing but an urban myth.

urban myth? she did have (or still has..according to shimizu) a relationship with a model named Jenny Shimizu. either way, i agree with volkotina in that current relationships does not "preclude" them from being with anyone else.


as for the actual poll, i voted "everyone else" as long as you bleed like everyone else and your shit smells like everyone else. your just like everyone else.

[spyretto]

They love as everyone else too, the feelings are the same irrespective of what sex is the person one loves; the same sense of desire and anxiety.

[marina]

As everyone else .