Fortunately - Unfortunately

[Unplugged]

Unfortunately, God's mother, Mary, heard of his sexual behaviour with Simone and ordered Simone to be banned from Heaven and Hell.

[Kate]

Offtop:
staringlef, God doesn't have a mother, he always existed (or so they say). It's Jesus who had a mother, Mary, who in turn was inpregnated by God to give birth to Jesus. Do you read your Bible?

Fortunately, God decided to resign his post as God, and turned himself into a mortal to live with Simone back on Earth.

[luxxi]

Unfortunatly He was run over by a car as soon as he stepped on earth

[Unplugged]

Offtop:
Kate, God impregnated Mary and then he encarnated in Jesus' body. So Jesus was an encarnation of God. So Mary is kind of like God's mother, since she was the mother of the encarnation of God on Earth - Jesus. You're right, God always existed and officially doesn't have a mother, but in a kind of cute way, the spirit Mary is related to him as a mother figure

Fortunately, Simone called a Voodoo Priest who promptly gave God his human life back.

[Kate]

Unfortunately, Mary (the new female God) couldn't forgive Simone for being the reason God left her, and cast a terrible spell on Simone.

[Unplugged]

Fortunately, Simone still had contacts with the Devil and, through a psychic who incorportated the Devil's spirit, she asked him to use his powers to disable the terrible spell cast on her by Mary.

[Kate]

Unfortunately, parts of the spell still remained upon Simone, causing her and God's sex life to be rather dull, so she dumped him for the psychic.

Offtop:
I'm off to bed. Nighty night.

[Unplugged]

Offtop:
Sweet dreams, Kate

[Unplugged]

Fortunately, the psychic was very good in bed, as he received powerful sexual energies from all spirits surrounding him, so Simone felt like she was having sex with the most powerful Sex Gods.

[luxxi]

Unfortunatly he later decided he was gay.

[crni]

fortunately simone got herself a huge dildo to keep her entertained

[luxxi]

unfortunatlly psychic stole it

[Unplugged]

Fortunately, Simone reported it to the Police and they arrested the psychic and gave her the dildo back.

[crni]

unfortunately, it wasn't the same shape as before...

[Unplugged]

Fortunately, that made Simone think about her life:
"Look at this. Not even my dildo is the same it used to be anymore. I have to change too. I'm tired of being sexual."
So Simone went on a spiritual retreat in India

[crni]

unfortunately, she ordered beef (by mistake) in one restaurant and people beat the hell out of her

[Unplugged]

Fortunately, Simone asked for guidance to the Hindu Gods, who told her she should go inside a cave in the mountains where a secret holy tribe would heal her soul so she would stop being so sexual and sinful

[crni]

unfortunately, the hindu gods weren't aware that a secret holy tribe changed their lifestiyle so as soon as simone got there they raped the poor woman

[luxxi]

fortunatly God came to rescue and beat the crap out of Hindu gods

[crni]

unfortunately, it wasn't hindu god's fault but the secret holy tribe's... so the innocent ones got beaten up again