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Unofficial forum of group TATU | |||||||
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27-07-2003, 04:02 | #1 |
Phanphic Phreak
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: "The Big Apple"
Posts: 109
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Yuli or Lena: Whose Gung-Fu is better?
YULIA: I am the greater mistress of the martial arts! I was trained in the Temple of the Shaolin since I was a toddler! I know the styles of all Five Deadly Venoms! The SNAKE! The LIZARD! The CENTIPEDE! The MANTIS! And the dreaded SCORPION!
(Yulia windmills her arms with blinding speed, motion trails tapering in their wake.) I defy Lena - that russet-haired cretin - to engage me in one-on-one combat! LENA: HAH! Yuli, you of the porcupine-quilled Duran Duran mullet! Your Shaolin Style pales before the might of my swordsmanship! I am tutored in the path of Zatoichi, the Blind Swordsman! I am skilled in the LONGSTAFF! The SHURIKEN! The BUTTERFLY BLADE! The WAR-FAN OF NIPPON! And the propeller-blade fury of the MAORI TAIAHA! (Lena grabs a taiaha and decapitates five watermelons perched on wooden posts.) I-HA-KAAAAAAAAA!!!!! YULIA: My Shaolin training is superior to your feeble Japanese showboating! LENA: My discipline of the mountain monks topples your Hollywood chop-socky!! YULIA: Then have at you, you ginger whelp! LENA: Prepare to meet Kali in HELL, porcupine pubes! The two charge at one another. YULIA: TET-SU-OOOOOOOO!!! LENA: KA-NE-DAAAAAAAAA!!!! (Who is the true mistress of the assassin's arts? YOU, dear reader, must decide!!!) |
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27-07-2003, 04:07 | #2 |
Mujahedin
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Tetsuo Kaneda? Isnґt that guy from Akira?
Cya Dent |
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27-07-2003, 04:26 | #3 |
Harrumph.
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: 忍者村
Posts: 3,272
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Dent, one is Tetsuo, the other is Kaneda. LOL.
Me Am Hulk, I go for Lena... swordsmanship FOREVAH, yo. :P |
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27-07-2003, 04:49 | #4 |
I'm a Dust Bunny!
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Montréal, Canada
Posts: 2,729
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Oh, Lord. That was priceless to read. I can actually see it in my head.
Chinese movies, how reminiscent. I laugh. LOL. And I have no idea who wins. ^_^' ~Echo. |
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Quietly weaving, Tiredly leaving, Another today, Again tomorrow Together dismay, And raining sorrow. Le noir, la gloire... On se demande bien. Mais comm' je t'adore, lorsque je m'endors... |
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27-07-2003, 06:16 | #5 |
The Poke Master
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Oh, Lena would win by a long shot. I'm sorry, but swords just plain rock! (Especially certain redheads with swords... )
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27-07-2003, 14:09 | #6 |
Участник
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: North Carolina USA
Age: 54
Posts: 786
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I vote Lena as well.
Porcupine-quilled Duran Duran mullet? <Snicker> I'll be giggling over *that* phrase for days! Parrish |
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27-07-2003, 17:23 | #7 | |
Quality Control
Join Date: Jan 2003
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,875
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Quote:
Sounds like a Wu Tang skit... I'll try and not make my answer biased.... .... .... .... ........... errrm Yulia.. |
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27-07-2003, 17:27 | #8 |
It's Ms. SKRT To You :)
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Washington, D.C.
Posts: 92
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Being a fencer, it's pretty obvious that Lena wins (well, maybe it's becuase i think Lena is a Gosdess).
i mean seriously, like there was any chance! -skrt |
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27-07-2003, 18:16 | #9 |
pie crust
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: where everybody knows my name
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 11,792
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Lena.. she's bigger.
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Monika | TatySite.net t.E.A.m. [ <3 ] [ 11 ] |
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27-07-2003, 18:23 | #10 |
Caterfly's
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ROTFL, oh dear lord. That was hilarious, thank you so much for sharing. Hmmm...my vote is that they fight for two days straight, become increasingly tired and eventually fall into eachother's arms huffing and puffing and calling a truce. Which of course leads to making out. Yes this is my guess. lol.
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28-07-2003, 01:07 | #11 |
Yulia&PunkeR&Lena
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I read an event which is(Tatu star Lena Katina needed treatment from doctors after a vicious catfight with bandmate Yulia Volkova left her with leg injuries.)
so my vote is go to Yulia. |
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28-07-2003, 02:34 | #12 |
ROCK FOR LIGHT
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Philadelphia USA
Age: 41
Posts: 613
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YULIA
Are you people mad? Anyone possessing all 5 deadly venoms would be unstoppable. Somehow I think Yulia would be a master of the drunken, though. This movie should definitely happen.
Hey "HULK", my friend is indeed the real Hulk. I once saw him turn green and beat the s--- out of his dad in McDonald's because he got pickles on his burgers. |
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as sick as i am, i would never be you |
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28-07-2003, 02:52 | #13 |
Участник
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: North Carolina USA
Age: 54
Posts: 786
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*Laughs* I think I like Bitty's answer the best so far!
And I just had to share this...a girl came into where I work last night, and she had spiked hair. I thought about the "Porcupine-quilled" comment, and had to fight not to laugh. Parrish |
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28-07-2003, 07:21 | #14 |
shit happens :D
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dangit I'm at crossroads....I'm a yuliafan but I'm a fan of swords...(as a matter of fact last week I bought a nice katana ) well....mmmm who cares! Yulia's better!
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28-07-2003, 07:44 | #15 |
Uhaku's alter ego
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I vote Yulia. Simply cus one of her future hairstyles would match Bruce Lee's. And that's more than enough to decide who's going to win this match.
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Irina Slutskaya the champion of my heart I salute you! I know it's not the correct order of the colors of the Russian flag, but I want Irina in blue anyway. Yeehaw! |
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28-07-2003, 07:48 | #16 |
Harrumph.
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: 忍者村
Posts: 3,272
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uhaku, hadn't noticed that. Maybe she could be Bruce's OTHER daughter? *goes back to a ludicrous tabloid she read last week about Bruce leaving children all around*
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28-07-2003, 16:31 | #17 |
iMod
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Normandie
Age: 55
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,839
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That's the first time i smiled visiting that forum in a long time!
Well, i'm as biased as TvA so i vote Lena! But i agree with Bitty2002, as soon as Lena will have Yulia in her power, this will turn into a heated make-out session! And more if the rating of the movie allows it! That way we'd really get to see who's the mistress! |
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Patrick | TatySite.net t.E.A.m. [ shortdickman@free.fr ] Last edited by haku; 28-07-2003 at 16:37. |
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28-07-2003, 19:44 | #18 |
Where's my sleeve?
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LMAO, great story!
I could just picture this!!
My vote is for Lena, she sounds vicious with them swords. This would be one righteous fight - someone make this into a movie! |
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Julia 2005: B**** better HAVE my sleeve! |
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