|
22-12-2005, 12:14 | #1 |
Участник
|
Pick Up Lines
I was just browsing and found the most hilarious pick up lines
What can I say, its 5am and I am bored.. Hey, my seamen has the SPF of 30, care to rub some on your face? Excuse me, but I'm freeballing, can I borrow your underwear? Excuse me, but I have the mother load and was wondering if you had a place to put it? Is it that cold out or are you just smuggling tic-tac's. Sit on my lap and we'll get things straight between us. You smell wet. Let's Party. Miss, If you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in? No, I'm not a cop. What can I get for fifty bucks? Excuse me, I'm a little short on cash, would you mind if we shared a cab home together? [/b]Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you. [/b] Didn't anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me?!?! I thought you knew... Hey..somebody farted. Let's get out of here. Have you ever played leap frog naked?? I'll bet you 100 bucks that you couldn't get all your clothes off in 30 seconds. Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway. I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand. I had a wet dream about you last night. Would you like to make it a reality? A woman asks, "Excuse me, do you have the time?" You: "Do you have the energy?" At the office copy machine. "Reproducing eh?" "Can I help?" You see my friend over there? [Point to friend who sheepishly waves from afar] He wants to know if YOU think I'M cute. My face is leaving in 10 minutes. Be on it. Can I see your tan lines? You know how they say skin is the largest organ? Not in my case. Take a screw with you and put it in your pocket. Then, when a girl comes up to you, offer her the screw and say, "Wanna screw?" Wait until the end of the evening when everything is real hazy and alcohol soaked, walk up to someone you've never met and say, "Come on, we're leaving." (The key is to act like you know them.) Can I please be your slave tonight? You should be someone's wife. Wow! Are you really as beautiful as you seem or do you remind me of myself? When's our wedding date? If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you between "F" and "CK". Pardon me but I was just about to go home and masturbate and I was wondering if you'd mind if I fantasize about you? Excuse me, maam, is that dress felt? Would you like it to be? I like your butt, can I wear it as a hat? I'm Irish. Do you have any Irish in you? Would you like some? If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole? Let's have a party and invite your pants to come on down. If your right leg was Christmas and your left leg was Easter, would you let me spend some time up between the holidays? Sit on my face and let me get to 'nose' you better? Wanna play carnival? You sit on my face and I guess how much you weigh. Did you know that I saved a girl's life last night? (No.) I pulled a 6 inch piece of meat out of her mouth to save her life. Can I save your life? |
Last edited by zelda05; 22-12-2005 at 12:45. |
|
Reply With Quote |
22-12-2005, 14:52 | #2 |
Dutchboy
|
very funny but strange pickup lines
|
~~~~~~~~~~~
Rick - My Space - Email: rick_samson@hotmail.com add me on msn if you want to - My pictures - Last.fm |
|
Reply With Quote |
22-12-2005, 15:07 | #3 |
Участник
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: UK
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,485
|
Don’t sweat much for a fat girl, do ya?
|
Reply With Quote |
22-12-2005, 15:34 | #4 | |
My Waking Hour
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: in oblivion
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,487
|
Quote:
|
|
Reply With Quote |
22-12-2005, 16:28 | #5 |
Re-Offender
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Shanghai , China
Posts: 2,103
|
Be unique and different, just say yes.
That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed. Screw me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before? |
Reply With Quote |
22-12-2005, 16:34 | #6 | |
Dutchboy
|
Quote:
|
|
~~~~~~~~~~~
Rick - My Space - Email: rick_samson@hotmail.com add me on msn if you want to - My pictures - Last.fm |
||
Reply With Quote |
22-12-2005, 17:16 | #7 |
Ice_Cream
|
LMAOOOOOOOOOO Some of those are hilarious!!!
|
~~~~~~~~~~~
Tatutaty: "Horny Rachel is her name. Masturbating is her game. Fucking, sucking, licking too. Wouldn't you like some Rachel screw? *batteries not included*" PuddleQueen | Rachel | TatySite.net t.E.A.m. [ rm6405@hotmail.com ] My music playlist on Last.fm |
|
Reply With Quote |
22-12-2005, 20:11 | #8 |
Harrumph.
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: 忍者村
Posts: 3,272
|
"Lovely legs. At what time do they open?"
Makes much more sense in spanish (it's a mannerism in here that if a business is closed, you ask "at what time does it open?"). "The word of the day is legs. Make sure to spread it around." Credit goes to Dare2Dream for giving me that one. |
Reply With Quote |
22-12-2005, 22:23 | #9 |
"... I love birds"
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Suffolk, UK
Age: 40
Posts: 1,175
|
Ok there is one that goes something like this...
"If your right leg is dinner and your left leg is lunch is it ok to eat in between meals" |
Reply With Quote |
23-12-2005, 00:08 | #10 | |
My Waking Hour
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: in oblivion
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,487
|
Quote:
I think that makes sense in all languages |
|
Reply With Quote |
23-12-2005, 06:08 | #11 |
The Dream is Over, :~(
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Age: 41
Posts: 682
|
Is that a keg in your pants because I'd like to tap that ass.
Thank you, I'm here all week. |
Reply With Quote |
23-12-2005, 08:07 | #12 |
Dutchboy
|
nice ones
|
~~~~~~~~~~~
Rick - My Space - Email: rick_samson@hotmail.com add me on msn if you want to - My pictures - Last.fm |
|
Reply With Quote |
23-12-2005, 11:01 | #13 |
winter days ...
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: L WorLd
Age: 46
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,787
|
heh, ive actually had "nice legs, what time do they open" used on me
|
Reply With Quote |
23-12-2005, 14:47 | #14 | |
kis$ it
|
Quote:
|
|
~~~~~~~~~~~
The Complete™ forever I never thought it would be this clear | Lux [ light-ness@hotmail.com ] |
||
Reply With Quote |
Bookmarks |
|
|
Similar Threads | ||||
Thread | Thread Starter | Forum | Replies | Last Post |
If you had to pick some albums... | KillaQueen | Sports and Entertainment | 33 | 02-12-2005 00:23 |
Naive motion (Simple motions) | narayana | The Island of Arts | 4 | 20-03-2003 08:27 |