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02-02-2004, 17:58 | #1 |
Phanphic Phreak
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: "The Big Apple"
Posts: 109
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(New!) tATu: A Pup Named tRIuMPh!
At long last, Yulia and Lena have overcome all obstacles to their love
and settle into sweet, sugar-coated domestic bliss... ...Or at least the above would have happened if SOMEONE ELSE was writing this fanfic. Too bad this is a ME AM HULK production! ;-) t.A.T.u! in "A Pup Named tRIuMPh! (Valentine's Day)" by Me Am Hulk FADE IN: THE TIME: FEBRUARY FOURTEENTH EXT. - THE VOLKOVA/KATINA RESIDENCE - DAY The house is small, humble, but well kept. The front door has an image of Cupid posted on it. The windows are trimmed with a series of glossy cut-out Valentine hearts. A banner on the picket fence reads: HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! CUT TO: INT. - THE VOLKOVA/KATINA LIVING ROOM - DAY The living room is painted pink, with red and white rose bouquets on the table, the TV set, and the lamp table. LENA KATINA prances across the carpet with a carpet sweeper. She wears a pink apron with a big red valentine heart over the chest. She SINGS while she sweeps. LENA: (Sings.) Diz-zy-y! I'm so-o DIZ-ZEE-EE! My head is spin-in'! Like a WHIRL-POOL! It never ends! And it's YOU GIR-RL! Makin' it spin! You're makin' me DIZ-ZEE-EE!* The front door lock CLICKS open. Lena stops singing and sweeping. Her face breaks into a sweet smile... ...as YULIA VOLKOVA, Lena's common-law husband opens the door. She wipes her workboots on the welcome mat and steps into the living room. Yulia is wearing a dark blue set of overalls, a hardhat, carries a metal lunchbox in one arm and cradles a gift wrapped box in the other. Her face is covered with a few grease and grime streaks. She closes the door with her foot, drops her lunchbox and spreads her arms... YULIA: (Sing-Song.) Honey-y-y-y-y! I'm HO-O-O-OME! LENA: Oooooh! Yuli-kins! Lena skips across the living room, red tresses trailing behind her. The two girls embrace. Yulia gives Lena a chaste peck on her nose. Lena GIGGLES and starts nuzzling Yulia's grimy cheeks. YULIA: Whoa! Don't get yourself dirty, Rusty Locks! LENA: I don't mind getting a little DRRTY with my Pixie Queen on our favorite holiday! YULIA: In that case, I've got you a little somethin' somethin' you won't mind DRRTYING up! Yulia hands her the gift box. YULIA: For you, Rainbow Brite! LENA: My goodness gracious! YULIA: Go on, open it up! Lena bounces onto the couch, places the gift box on her lap, and neatly undoes the ribbon and wrapping. She opens the lid and SQUEALS. LENA: Oh you SHOULDN'T have! YULIA: (Grins.) Oh yes, I should! Lena holds up a pink "peek-a-boo" nightgown ensemble with a pink thong and sheer red nylons. LENA: What a naughty little gift! YULIA: It comes with pasties and streamers too! LENA: So you've been down to "that store," have you? YULIA: I may have! LENA: What a pleasant surprise! I have a surprise for you too! YULIA: You do? Lena sashays over to Yulia and strokes her chin. LENA: We have a new arrival to our humble abode! Yulia GASPS. YULIA: You've gone to the sperm bank? Lena GIGGLES. LENA: No, silly monkey! Why don't you go get cleaned up, and you'll see it when you come back, M'kay? Yulia smiles slyly. YULIA: Okay, Rosie Stockings. I'll be back in two shakes of a stripper's tail! Lena swats Yulia playfully, and pushes her toward the bathroom. LENA: Oh you stop that! Hurry along, sweetheart! YULIA: I will, honey-bunch! Yulia crosses the living room and disappears into the bathroom. DISSOLVE TO: INT. - BATHROOM - DAY Yulia, now dressed in a white tank-top and black trousers, is wiping her cheeks with a towel. YULIA: (Sings.) Yuli's little baby loves oysters, oysters! Yuli's little baby loves sauteed clam! She checks herself in the mirror, slings the towel across her shoulders, and winks at her reflection. YULIA: You are the luckiest butch on earth! Yes you are! LENA'S VOICE: Where are you, Yuli-kins? YULIA: Coming Lena-love! Yulia swaggers out of the bathroom... CUT TO: INT. - LIVING ROOM - DAY ...and reenters the living room. Lena is seated on the couch, with a red plastic box with grating on the front and back. The redhead greets Yulia with a wide, sweet grin. LENA: Happy Valentine's Day, my Slavic Sugar Plum! YULIA: (Points to the box.) So that's the new arrival? LENA: It certainly is! Lena opens the box lid, peeks inside, and starts making KISSING noises. LENA: C'mon out, little one! Say hi to your mommy and daddy! The head of a puppy peeks out of the box. YULIA: Oooh! A widdwe pup dog! What's he called? LENA: The nice lady at the pet shop told me he answers to the name "Triumph!" Lena scoops the puppy into both of her arms. Triumph has a gold ribbon tied around his throat. The puppy's tongue lolls out as he PANTS excitedly and looks at his new owners. TRIUMPH: Arf! Arf-arf-arf!! Yip! Yip-yip-yap!! YULIA: Aw Lena, he's an absolute DARLING!! Lena hands Triumph over to Yulia. Yulia takes the puppy and cuddles him close to her cheek. Triumph licks his "daddy's" cheek. TRIUMPH: Woof-woof! Wooo-oo-ooo... LENA: Oh, look at that! He LOVES you, baby! YULIA: Ooo! You cuddly- wuddly little bundle of joy! Lena rises from the couch and crosses to Yulia. LENA: I have one or two things to care of in the kitchen! (She pinches Yulia's cheek) I'll let you two get better acquainted, M'kay? Be nice, now! YULIA: Oh, of course I will! Lena skips off to the kitchen. Yulia continues to cuddle the dog close to her cheek. YULIA: Ohhh! You smell like a chocolate bon-bon, Triumph! TRIUMPH: Da? You smell like samtink de local SEWER puked back up! Long, awkward pause. YULIA: Derp? ******************************************** * "Dizzy" by Tommy Roe Got more if ya want it. -Author |
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06-02-2004, 13:18 | #2 |
winter days ...
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: L WorLd
Age: 46
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,787
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hehe i LOVE this ! post more post more me am hulk ! PLEASE PLEASE
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07-02-2004, 23:24 | #3 |
Phanphic Phreak
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: "The Big Apple"
Posts: 109
|
Yuli's best friend?
Last time on "A Pup Called tRIuMPh!"
YULIA: Ohhh! You smell like a chocolate bon-bon, Triumph! TRIUMPH: Da? You smell like samtink de local sludge peet puked back up! Long, awkward pause. YULIA: Derp? And now... part TWO of "A Pup Called tRIuMPh!" TRIUMPH: Honey, yoo're holding me against de wrong set of cheeks! YULIA: Uh... say what? TRIUMPH: Wroong cheeks, babs! Vhat language do you teenk I'm speaking, Swahili? Spangleesh wid a Blaccent? I'm speekink de Mather Honking Tongue here! YULIA: Ba... Bu... B-uhhhh? TRIUMPH: "Ba, Ba, Ba?" Vhat are you do-eenk, Belching de God-damned alphabet? I told you to stop rubb-eenk my fine coat against your pasty Russkie jowls! Doon't you know how to greet a daggie? YULIA: How... what... TRIUMPH: Ah, for de love of Raspyootin... look brush-top, you and me are go-eenk to get to know each ather, we've got to greet each ather de way a daggie's supposed to! YULIA: H-how am I supposed to do that? TRIUMPH: We've got to sneef each ather's ass-cheeks, girlchik! YULIA: WHAT? No fuckin' way! TRIUMPH: Ahhhh, c'mon! I sneef your back, you sneef mine! YULIA: I'm not sniffing your ass! TRIUMPH: Oh, I see! Yoo're eemposing your values on me! Dat's species-ism! Vhat, you teenk your species is sooperior to mine? Yoo're a BEE-got! You know dat? YULIA: I am NOT a species-ist! It's just... I... Look, I vote Green and I'm a card-carrying member of PeTA! TRIUMPH: Yeah vhatever, Yuli Barrymore! Look, you doon't vant to get on de Missus' bad side, right? I'm her gift to you, and in de name of inter-species relations, YOU owe me an ass-sneefing session! YULIA: But... I... you... we... Ooooooh, All right! But you have to sniff MY ass first! TRIUMPH: Heh-heh, you sure you don' vanna sneef my tush first, just to ged it out of de vay? YULIA: I'd rather you just... just... OH, ALL RIGHT! I'll... uuuuurgh... I'll sniff you first! Just don't fart or anything! TRIUMPH: Hey, vhat do I look like, a cheempanzee? Besides you humans haf more een common wid DOSE turd-sleengers, anyvay! Yulia makes a face. TRIUMPH: C'mon, ged eet over veeth! YULIA: Okay, here goes... (moans) Diosa, ayudame! With her face pinched, Yulia raises Triumph above her face, and slowly, slowly lowers Triumph toward her nostrils, arse first. At that moment, Lena re-enters the living room. She sees Yulia holding Triumph's ass to her face. LENA: Yuli? Yulia turns round, sees Lena and YELPS, nearly dropping Triumph. Yulia gathers the little puppy into her arms. LENA: Yulia, what were you doing? YULIA: I... I was saying "hello" to the puppy... LENA: By kissing his ass? YULIA: NO! Ay diosa, no! I was uh... smelling it. LENA: Why on earth would you sniff the puppy's arse? YULIA: 'Cause that's how dogs greet each other... LENA: Yulia, who told you that dogs greet each other... that way? Yulia looks down at Triumph, nestled in her arms. YULIA: (Whimpers.) He did. LENA: Say what? YULIA: He said I should... he uh... told me to... LENA: WHO told you? YULIA: The dog, Lena! The dog TALKS. LENA: The DOG spoke to you? YULIA: Yeah... LENA: Yulia Volkova, have you been drinking? YULIA: No honey! I swear on my baby blue eyes, we have a talking dog! LENA: (Sighs.) A talking dog? Oh ha ha ha... okay, I get it, Yuli. (To Triumph.) Triumph, what's the name of the store down the block? TRIUMPH: Rowfs! LENA: Triumph, which member of the Yankees is called "The Bambino?" TRIUMPH: Rooth! Lena smirks at Yulia, whose face flushes beet red. LENA: Talking dog, indeed! Yulia, you are the silliest thing! Now come on inside, dinner's ready. You uh... might want to wash your face, though... YULIA: I didn't touch his ass! LENA: Kidding, silly-buns! Don't let the food go cold, now! Lena retreats to the kitchen. Yulia sets down Triumph. YULIA: This is fuckin' freaky. TRIUMPH: Vell, I look at eet dees vay Bristles, eef your ass smells as bad as your BREATH, den I got off light. YULIA: WHAT THE FUCK... LENA: (From the kitchen.) Yulia! Are you hollering at little Triumph? YULIA: Er... no dear, I just stubbed my toe. Yulia sighs. TRIUMPH: Hah! Vhy is SHE wearing de apron in dees house eef yoo're de one whose WHEEPED? Yulia glares at the dog, GROWLS a string of stifled expletives under her breath, and finally STOMPS off to the kitchen. NEXT EPISODE: MARCH THE FIRST (It's da first of da mooooooonth...) |
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