You would never guess
In your former life, you were a
turtle!
Come on out of your shell; in your former life you were a turtle named Spiros. The details are a bit sketchy, but we do have a brief summary based on public records: You were born in a small pond beside a taverna on a small Greek island. Despite having an exceptionally athletic father, you seemed to prefer sunbathing and mud baths to more active pursuits. Contrary to the rumour, your favourite colour was never green, but actually blue. Few people knew that you were a talented poet because most of your work was destroyed during a flash flood that swept not only your library, but your entire community into the Mediterranean Sea. Fortunately, you were sunbathing on a rock at the time so you only suffered the minor indignity of being stranded on your back until a kindly donkey set you right. You showed courage and determination and had the pluck to settle down, make some eggs, and live happily ever after with your wife Aphrodite and your 20 offspring.
p.s. should I be
very nice to my turtle now ?
