Pet Diaries

[ypsidan04]

EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY:

8:00 a.m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9:30 a.m. Oh, boy! A car ride! My favorite!
9:40 a.m. Oh, boy! A walk! My favorite!
10:30 a.m. Oh, boy! Getting rubbed and petted! My favorite!
11:30 a.m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
Noon - Oh, boy! The kids! My favorite!
1:00 p.m. Oh, boy! The yard! My favorite!
4:00 p.m. Oh, boy! To the park! My favorite!
5:00 p.m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
5:30 p.m. Oh, boy! Pretty Mums! My favorite!
6:00 p.m. Oh, boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6:30 a.m. Oh, boy! Watching TV with my master! My favorite!
8:30 p.m Oh, boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite!


EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY:

Day 183 of My Captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre
little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am
forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the
hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the
occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.
Today
my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they
were walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs.
In
an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again
induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair, must try this on
their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in
an
attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to
strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about
what a
good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan. There was
some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary
confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and
smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was
due to my power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to
use it to my advantage. I am convinced the other captives are flunkies
and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than
happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other
hand,
has got to be an informant, he speaks with them regularly. I am certain
he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the high
metal
room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of
time
....

So true...

[teeny]

Oh I have two of those:

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