Vanilla scent. song-poem

[samegirl]

Hi everybody!!
I would like to show you this. i wrote it a few days ago.

Plase say something about it..If you think is good, horrible, corny...but say something, I want to know if i have some talent as a writer...

Thanks!

VANILLA SCENT

23/03/04
5pm

when the wind brough me her scent
and a wave of beige blew me away
the world ceased to exist
and her scent of vanilla took its place.

I'm at her mercy, completely powerless
Like an idiot hanging in this moment
Poisoned with all her charming
In a blissful state of mind.

She takes my breath away
when i feel her vanilla scent
And she has her way with me
everytime she's dressed in beige.

And If I could only keep one memory
It would be of her
I won't need to think it twice
it would be of her.

Utterly intoxicated
I have gone insane
I'm chasing shades of beige
I'm craving for her vanilla scent.

She's invaded all my senses
I'm at her mercy, completely mesmerized
The world's ceased to exist
I give up, I can't resist...

She takes my breath away
when I feel her vanilla scent
And she has her way with me
everytime she's dressed in beige.

And if i could only keep one memory
It would be of her
I won't think it twice
It would be her vanilla scent.

[Unplugged]

That's pretty good

I think you have talent, you just need more practice and I'm sure you'll be great

[samegirl]

thanks staringelf! I have some others i like more than this but this has a special meaning for me Thanks for that!
I promise i will practice more! thank youuu