Missing members and why they left - discussion

freddie · 12-12-2004, 14:28

Dunno. I posted a lot about religion, politics, life, sexuality... I think it's more about the fan-base shrinking then anything else. You have to understand that most people visited the tatu part of the forums, and only frequented the general parts of the forum as pass-time. It was tatu that gave real dynamics to this place. I know some people who stopped frequenting the forum just cause tatu aren't as popular and nothing new is happening in tatu world. And some of those people were regular posters on the general forum as well. They just lost will to come here, since the original reason at them being here in the first place was pretty much gone.

I think the forum still has some pretty interesting topics.

teeny · 12-12-2004, 22:34

I think part of my problem with most threads, is that I feel like they were created for the purpose of getting more posting members. Instead of before where it seemed like people really had something to say in the matter and therefor one felt like joining the discussion.

It could be that we already discussed important matters fully and are left with the wig situation. Then again, since it seems like most members share the same opinion about tatu, the news about them dies, as soon as they are posted, and members are left fighting having to discuss anything they have in common besides the music.

*out of ideas*

Lux · 13-12-2004, 05:16

i think the nature of forums is just to have something to talk about. content is important, but when people flock together in the interest of a group and that interest morphs into interest in each other, content quality is not the top priority. in fact, it takes a backseat. when there is less of the group to talk about, it is natural to talk for the sake of talking. making fun of a group/people arouses interest because of its humourous intent, keeping the forum alive. it is also humorous in itself to join in the collective lighthearted attitude.
what is discussion, really? presenting various opinions on serious matters? backing up those opinions with rationale and reason? or is it counting how many ways one can laugh at or mock a piece of trivial information?

i miss the members mentioned previously because in discussions, they presented and supported opinions with rational thinking. if not rational thinking, then rational humor. it was not as though the tone of the forum iron clad, but the sake of discussion was taken seriously. there was a time when i looked forward to sharing opinions and receiving logical responses.

kishkash · 13-12-2004, 05:54

clarify please

coolasfcuk · 13-12-2004, 06:39

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lux

there was a time when i looked forward to sharing opinions and receiving logical responses.

very good. I just want to add that, maybe it is just me and my current state of stress and evaluation of my life to this point, but ... I can honestly say that i simply dont want to post here anymore, because it seems to me like the level of intelligence has drastically dropped (yes, that's exatly what Im saying) And then I thought to myself "oh my fucking god, 2 years of my life are gone and so many hours were wasted in me participating in something like that .... something that wasnt intellectually stimulating?!

" And I got angry at myslef...but...
in fact, I want to thank you for your posts, Lux and sunwalk, because even though it might not really make me change my mind completely, it does remind me that this place used to be different... maybe i was different too.....

Anyways, as i said, maybe it is my state of mind right now, I mean after all ... this is just an internet site about pseudo lesbian X pop group

Either way, I am back to being sooooooooooo pre occupied with actual work and schools and that my time for 'play' is now very limited or non-existent at times ....

And finally, not to sound too dark, there are good things that came out of this site, few relationships, which are strong enough to exist without this site anyways

luxxi · 13-12-2004, 10:04

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lux

i think the nature of forums is just to have something to talk about. content is important, but when people flock together in the interest of a group and that interest morphs into interest in each other, content quality is not the top priority. in fact, it takes a backseat. when there is less of the group to talk about, it is natural to talk for the sake of talking. making fun of a group/people arouses interest because of its humourous intent, keeping the forum alive. it is also humorous in itself to join in the collective lighthearted attitude.
what is discussion, really? presenting various opinions on serious matters? backing up those opinions with rationale and reason? or is it counting how many ways one can laugh at or mock a piece of trivial information?

IMO people post here so that ther is something going on. So you have people posting about evolution/creationism, priests preaching on beaches, supermarket chain getting sued over PAEL label, US elections, girls dumping "dodgy CD" boyfriends......

Also many of US are here becasue of inertia. If we were here for so long why leave? Maybe something interesting will pop up.

forre · 13-12-2004, 10:19

People come and people leave - it happens on ALL forums. Some loose interest in the main subject, some people don't find any spare time for hanging around and some just switch to something more interesting for them at the moment. So it's pretty normal and doesn't mean that the world is going under yet. That's just a normal order of things.

Bitty2002 · 13-12-2004, 10:33

I check the forum on occasion. I haven't left it completely, because it was important to me at one time...and I met my g/f here, and there are still some people whose posts I enjoy (but mostly I come on here to read the incredulous posts made by some people, which of course only make me angry- I enjoy tormenting myself).

I can only speak for myself, but I left because I no longer liked being here. There was/is too much condescending negativity and belligerent attitudes. One of the main reasons people like to say about why so many of the fans left tatysite is that is was due to the decline and truth coming out about Tatu. I can say for myself that is was not Tatu’s change that made me no longer want to be here, but the change in people’s bitter attitudes. People have the right to be upset, but personally I wasn’t that upset and had no desire to sit here in the wallowing self-pity and bitterness that has surrounded the forum. It depressed me to the nth degree. Months after the “truth” was revealed people continue to be filled with bitterness. That is their prerogative, but personally I don’t want to be around it. I’ve gotten over any disappointment I may have had and would rather not dwell on it. Also, because of the amount of bitterness people continue to have, they tend to nit pick and mock and make fun of Tatu. While many of you may still like Tatu, the general feeling around here is negative towards them still. I continue to follow Tatu because I still like them, not because I hate them and wait to watch them fall on their faces as I sit back laughing. Not my cup of tea. And, to be completely and totally honest, a year ago, whenever Kate would post, people couldn’t believe how rude she was. Now, a lot of you have become mini-Kates, her little minions. I rarely enjoyed Kate’s posts (sorry Kate) and now that there are hundreds of them, it makes me want to run away.

And, my favorite thing is how certain some of you are about the ‘truth’ now. Half of you were fooled before, what makes you such a good judge of character now? I have never liked when someone speaks as if something were definitely true, whether talking about Tatu’s boyfriends or being together. I doesn’t matter what side you are on, it matters that you speak as if you know 100%, and you simply can’t. Yet, you sit there so smug and sure of yourself. I think the one thing I learned from Tatu was not to believe everything I see, hear, read, etc. 100%. I can lean towards something, speculate on one thing, think one thing when you add up all the clues is more likely to be true, but the only thing I know for sure is that Lena and Yulia are female…or are they? Hmm, that is true. Never mind, I can’t know anything for sure.

And lastly, because I feel that nothing is 100% true, I still enjoy speculating on their possible relationship (past or present and to what extent they may have had or have one). And it’s soo funny how some people were sooo sure they must be straight, straight as a ruler even. Yet, Yulia for sure has never said she was not bisexual, in fact she has said more to the fact that she is bisexual. Lena, she hasn’t said anything conclusive either way. But she did say that she and Yulia were going through the same things of questioning friendship or sexual attraction (and this was AFTER their supposed coming out as fakes). Yet, if I were to say anything of the like on here, I would most likely be scoffed at, mocked, and made to feel foolish. Because it’s soooooo obvious I am delusional. Well, I know I’m not and hate being around people that continue to try and imply that I am. *shrugs* So, I’ve gone over to tatu*us where a lot of fans like myself have been run off to. Oh, that’s also something awfully annoying and part of the reason I left. I never really visited the .us forum back when tatysite was bearable, simply because tatysite was my place. But I love how people from tatysite like to go over to .us simply to laugh at how stupid the forum is and how much better tatysite is. That does NOTHING to make me want to come back. In fact, it makes me think tatysite is run by a bunch of petty, threatened assholes, who like to feel “better than” – like tatysite has a serious case of penis-envy and need for a feeling of superiority. I hate to break it to you, but you aren’t any better…you may have been (at least for me), at one point in time, and may have been able to maintain that status, but that was because tatysite used to be a mature forum. Does tatysite not realize that stooping to mockery isn’t mature? It’s the epitome of immaturity.

Not to mention it was run by wannabe mini-tyrants.

Of course this is all just my opinion. No offense meant to be taken. People asked why some fans left, and I felt the need to be honest.

**disclaimer** Anything I say in the post is not directed to ALL members. It is aimed at specific people or just the overall feel of the forum in general. There are always members that do not fit into the generalization I have. But that generalization or general feeling the forum gave me is what drove me away.

Mossopp · 13-12-2004, 10:45

"Killirov" is messing with our minds again.
Why post only to erase your message again 30 seconds later?

Mossopp · 13-12-2004, 10:49

Quote:

Originally Posted by kirillov

Mossopp, sorry I'm on drugs and feel paranoid.

Really.

I'm going to find it hard to take anything you say seriously from now on.

forre · 13-12-2004, 10:55

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bitty2002

I can only speak for myself, but I left because I no longer liked being here.

A clear case that the interest was switched to something else that you liked more. The forum served its purpose for you in its own time. You took what you needed and then left, the forum haven't changed that a lot - it's always been a place where opposite opinions meet and where the group has always been praised and criticised equally. Stay on any forum long enough and you'll notice the same tendency - nothing new in this world but sooner a matter of personal perception.

Mossopp · 13-12-2004, 10:56

Quote:

Originally Posted by kirillov

Mossopp, I don't blame you, and I am a fucking dumb cocksucker I know.

So why keep posting under the name that made you known as such.
Everyone was cool with taty954591blahblahwhatevernumbersitwas. Go back to using that name and being yourself. Noone wants you to leave the forum completely.

Bitty2002 · 13-12-2004, 11:02

forre - That actually isn't really the reason. My point was that my interests have pretty much remained the same and the forum changed. Before, my interests and those of the forum were in harmony. Now they are not. I still like Tatu the same as I did before. So I haven't switched my interests. Simply put(even though it is mopre complex, but...), Tatysite used to be a mix of opinions, of course, but it generally leaned towards the positive- most people were fans of Tatu in a more positive way. Now, the median of opinions has shifted to a more negative stance. I have remained on the positive part of the opinion spectrum, so I no longer felt at peace here.

Mossopp · 13-12-2004, 11:09

I'm sorry you feel that way taty994945. Take care of yourself, ok.

No hard feelings.

luxxi · 13-12-2004, 11:15

WTF?

Mossopp · 13-12-2004, 11:16

Quote:

Originally Posted by luxxi

WTF?

It's a long story.

forre · 13-12-2004, 11:29

Bitty2002, The grade of your need being on the forum changed. What I was trying to say is that the forum can hardly be blamed for that people leave. Even if you like the group as it was or as it is - there's nothing to discuss right now because the group has been inactive for some time and there's nothing new to discuss. We'll see how it will be when the group releases their second album if they ever will. For me - the interest in group just remained the same, a sort of sport - where it will all finish and how the forum can be developed in accordance with new conditions.

teeny · 13-12-2004, 11:45

Quote:

Originally Posted by coolasfcuk

it does remind me that this place used to be different... maybe i was different too....

yeah, so even though things are worse at the moment it did use to be better at least.

Bitty2002 · 13-12-2004, 12:12

forre - I think we're misconnecting here. I understand what you are saying, and I agree that that is probably the reason for a lot of people's inactivity on the forum. However, that is not my reason. If it were the degree of my need to be on the forum that changed, I would not have moved to tatu*us. I moved there because my need remained the same and I did not find it being fulfilled here.

But you are right, a forum is just a sort of metaphysical entity dependent on its members. So I cannot blame the forum and certainly not every member, that would be ludicrous. But I do attribute the negativity to certain members and that, for what ever reason, this meeting ground is one in which negativity is bred and cultivated. I can keep asking why and take it back to Tatu's revelation of supposed fakeness or their inactivity, because I believe that is what initially caused the shift in atmosphere here. However, I cannot blame those events completely, because beyond this particular forum, I have not continued to experience this degree of negativity (there is negativity everywhere, just not to the extent it is here) months after the initial shock and bitterness. I do not want to discredit anyone's feelings- because I know a lot of people were very upset, and they can be. But I simply do not choose to feel that way and therefore do not feel comfortable around that atmosphere. My point was that, while it is understandable that fans all over were upset by anatomy, inactivity, cancellations, the works, some places have moved away from the negativity, while it persists on this forum. Because of that, I left. I was attributing my decision to move away from the forum on a series of factors, the main one being the change in atmosphere here...which in my opinion is undeniable.

I am not asking the forum to change. Sure I miss the way it was. Currently, I'm just happier elsewhere.

forre · 13-12-2004, 12:22

Bitty2002, take a ride on here whenever the mood strikes you. That's all I can add. Good to see you here from time to time!