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Essay for English


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Old 03-09-2006, 04:38   #1
Cats_In_The_Hat Cats_In_The_Hat is offline
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Essay for English

Not sure if this should be posted in the off topic stuff or not, but here's a story that I wrote for English this past week. We were supposed to write about something that happened to us in the past that we remember vividly. It was either this or the time I jumped over a chain link fence and cut my arm on one of the barbs (left a big scar...), but I've written about that only about 5 times, so I had to do something new...Anyway, here it is:



Like Breaking An Addiction by Michelle Koch:


You know what people always leave out when they tell you about their break-ups even if they were painful? How free you feel when it’s over - even when you want them back. Like breaking an addiction - you still want it, but staying away from it is more beneficial to you. At least, that’s how I felt after I went through a recent break-up.
I wasn’t quite sure how it happened, but we ended up kissing in the middle of the hallway. It felt good to be able to kiss someone after two entire years of not kissing anyone. As soon as I pulled away, I instantly noticed the four guys hanging over each other to get a closer look.
“Holy Mother of God, that was hot! Kiss her again!” One of them said. I glared at him and drug her over to a place that was secluded unless you happened to be walking by. And apparently a lot of people walk by that area because a few minutes after more kissing, a crowd of 15 or more boys stood crowded around us. Wide-eyed and staring.
“Wow. That was definitely worth waiting on buying a coke to watch that.” I looked at the male voice and recognized it as Adam, a friend of mine.

I’m Michelle. Fifteen years old. 4’10”. Sophomore year in high school. It happened when I was fourteen years old. 4’10”. Freshmen in high school. She was Brooke Luck. Fourteen years old. 5’4”. Freshmen in high school. I never would’ve guessed what my first year of high school would bring when I sat down in the squeaky school desk two seats in front of her and one seat in front of my best friend from 8th grade, Lauren Crooks.
“When did you switch into this class?” Lauren asked.
“This morning.” I asked, giving Lauren a fairly strong hug considering my size. Lauren gestured behind her.
“By the way, that’s Brooke.” She commented. Brooke waved at me, smiling warmly from ear to ear. I waved back.
“Hi. I’m a midget.” Was how I decided to introduce myself as. She laughed as I took my seat. Brooke and I instantly hit it off, she loved how goofy I was and I never failed to make her laugh.
Two months into the school year and Brooke was dating Brian Does, a sophomore. Brooke and Brian were considered probably the cutest couple in the school at that time, and they were - lasting 7 months of the school year. I wish that they had broken up sooner so I really could’ve known about Brooke’s serial dating habits. I found myself weirded out and guilty every time I saw Brooke and Brian lip-locked and wished I could’ve been in Brooke’s position. I felt even weirder when I imagined myself kissing Brooke. That wasn’t normal, was it? I mean, sure she was attractive, but I shouldn’t be thinking things like that....
Dear God, make me stop thinking lesbonic thoughts. Amen.
...
Well, that didn’t last long... Since I doubted my own thoughts, I never told anyone about them, but I was sure that I was definitely not straight.

I was growing tired of everyone watching us. I wanted to be alone with her. It was 15 minutes after school had ended, so there was hardly anyone there as I led Brooke by the hip to a more secluded area. I pressed my body against hers until we were up against the wall, using my small, yet muscular body to hold her there. And...Well...You can probably guess what we did. Reluctantly, I broke away after a few minutes.
“I have to go. My mom’s waiting for me outside. She’s probably wondering where I am.” I confessed in a whisper, noticing my breathing had become slightly ragged. A last couple of quick kisses and I left - lips tingling for at least an hour even after I got home.

After Brooke and Brian broke up, I didn’t think about her as much, but that partly could’ve been from the fact that she had switched classes earlier in the year and I hardly ever saw her anymore.
Although two days later I heard she was dating a guy named James. The next week after that I heard she was bisexual and that James had moved to Waco because his grandparents were making him go to a Children’s Home, so I assumed it was over between him and Brooke.
I decided that was my chance to ask her out. And that was exactly what I did - ecstatic at the smiling voice say “Absolutely” on the other end of the phone.

A few days after we started dating I noticed my friend Noel wasn’t talking to me and he normally talked to me more than anyone in the class.
“He likes Brooke, you know.” My friend Blake told me.
“Yeah?” I asked.
“That’s why he’s pissed at you.” He informed me.
“Why? It’s not like I knew that. If I had, I wouldn’t have asked her out.” I said.
“Don’t think anything of it. He’s just being possessive of something that isn’t his.” Blake added. I nodded, taking one last look at Noel. The same Noel that had never dated anyone before. The same Noel that had a crush on me at the beginning of the year. The same Noel that I was about to save from some serious emotional pain.

“Apparently James is coming back from Waco soon.” Brooke said to me as we walked to fourth period. I gave a couple seconds for that to register in my brain.
“You’re not thinking of getting back with him, are you?” I asked. I could see her facial features change. She looked hurt. Silence.
“I don’t know...” She finally groaned. I squeezed her hand. This just started. I didn’t want it to end so soon.

The next week went by quickly and then it was finals week. The last week of school. By that time I had grown suspicious - Brooke was being too friendly with Noel. When I finally reached the school that morning I looked, wide eyed and mouth agape, at Noel, who was sitting on the floor in the front foyer. Holding hands with Brooke. Lips curved up in a devilish grin as he waved at me. As if nothing was wrong. I couldn’t stop the Leo characteristics in me rise to a fever pitch and expel themselves. Through my tightly balled fist that was now connecting to Noel’s jaw in one swift strike of my arm, rippled with muscle. It felt good. Bone connecting with bone in a satisfying crack as he fell backwards to the floor, grimacing in the unexpected pain from my action.
“Stay away from my girl!” I growled furiously from the back of my throat through bared teeth. I brought my foot back to kick his curled up body, jerked my head forward and hit my head on the bed post. A sickeningly bright green 3:47 blinked at me. I rubbed my forehead where I could already feel pain swirling in that area. Today was gunna be a looong day.

Nothing to out of the ordinary happened my first five classes, so I decided to be optimistic and assume the dream was just from me worrying. I wasn’t one to really delve into the meaning of dreams. After all, it’s just images that your brain produces in times of stress to help you get over it, right?
That day in 6th period I didn’t have to take my final, so I snuck into Brooke’s class. I crouched down at the desk near hers, thanking God that the lights in the room were off so that the teacher wouldn’t notice me. She complained her stomach was hurting her badly, so she moved to the floor. I sat with my back to the wall, letting her lean back into me with my legs on either side of her. I took her hand in mine, wrapping the other around her stomach and rested my head on her shoulder. I closed my eyes and invited her body heat on my bare arms. I felt so close to her that I wished that moment had never ended, but I would never be able to hold her in my arms again as I glared sickeningly at the scene that lay before me just 1 hour later.

That day after school had ended I told Brooke I had to leave immediately. She said her goodbyes, giving me a sensual kiss on the lips as I headed towards the front door. That’s when I remembered I had to get my book, turning a corner that led to a different part of the school towards my locker. When I was done, I took a door at the back of the school instead of the usual one at the front since it was farther away. As I neared the front of the school, Brian approached me looking confused.
“You and Brooke are still dating, right?” He asked, cocking his head to the side slightly.
“Yeah, why?” I questioned back. I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear the answer I thought as my heart beat sped up.
“Because she’s making out with James in the front of the school.” He stated. I didn’t stick around any longer, I stormed towards the front of the school. Stopped dead in my tracks. He was right. There James was. With Brooke in his arms like she was a trophy, one leg between her thighs like it belonged there. My nails dug into my hand as my fists tightened until the knuckles were white. All the kisses were meant for nothing. All the promises lost. Hollow words of love. That’s what I thought as I watched their lips play over each other, unbeknownst of my presence. I could feel a pressure at the back of my throat as my teeth ground against each other. My body started trembling as I walked at a stern pace past them, past Brian, past my friends who looked at me with sad eyes, not knowing what to do. I inhaled sharply and quickly decided it was a terrible idea as a sob racked my tiny body.
I slammed open the girls’ bathroom door and pressed my forehead against my forearm and leaned against the wall. I wasn’t going to cry. That showed weakness. I wasn’t weak, I was going to make it through this. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t. Cry. DON’T CRY. DON’T. CRY. I was slightly grateful when a teacher walked in the bathroom, untucking her shirt from her pants to expose a flabby, round, white belly hanging over the side of her jeans, stomach lined with terribly visible stretch marks causing me to temporarily forget about what happened. I slightly shivered at the sight and instantly walked out of the bathroom to see my friend Abby walk towards me. She jogged up to my and hugged me for all it was worth, caressing the back of my head in a soothing motion.
“Are you okay?” She whimpered. She sounded more distraught then I was. I swallowed hard.
“Yeah, I’ll get over it...I want to go to Panther City, though. I want to forget about this. Now.”

After getting my parents approval I went to Panther City with three friends, Abby with a comforting arm draped over my shoulder. My breath caught in my throat as we turned the corner to the entrance of Panther City. There was James, taking a drag from a newly lit cigarette. The smoke caused me to cough slightly. He looked at me and dropped the cigarette to his side. I looked at him as if waiting for him to say something. The harmful white smoke spilled over his lips in a dissipating cloud as he exhaled.
“I’m sorry about what happened. I didn’t know that you were there.” He apologized. I was startled at the apology because he was never one to do that, but I was in such a mood that it didn’t stop me from being pissed.
“Whether I was there or not doesn’t change the fact that you still did it.” I scowled. I noticed my voice was raspy and deep like it often did when I was in a bad mood.
“If you want to hit me, go ahead.” He said like it was nothing, turning and pointing to his cheek. Like he was used to being punched by a victim of the cheating habits he was infamous for. I was half a second from knocking his teeth out and no matter how badly I wanted to, I had to stop myself.
“No. I’m not stooping to your level and using violence.” I hissed through my teeth. Not that I knew he had ever used violence, but I was wording it so that it would sound bad on his part. He didn’t reply - he just took another long drag on his cig, puffing it out again and looked away. I squinted my eyes one last time at him and threw open the door to Panther City. I was going to have a good time. This was the last time I was going to see some of these people and I wasn’t gunna waste that time grieving over someone’s stupid choice and my own.

You can have Brooke, I’m breaking up with her. I typed in the cell phone to Noel.
Oh, so now she’s an object? He defended.
As soon as she stops acting like one, I’ll stop treating her like one, OK? I replied, sure it was harsh, but I didn’t care.
Why are you treating her so badly. I should’ve known you were a jerk when you asked her out knowing full well that I liked her.
I didn’t know! Now would you stop saying that?! My fingers shook with anger as I typed.
I can tell when people are lying to me. And you’re lying.
Anna was right, you’re a possessive piss-ant.
....She said that? He asked.
Yes. And I should’ve believed her. You’re so wrapped up in wanting Brooke that you’re forgetting what other people think about you. I just saved you from so much emotional pain that it’s not even funny. How would you feel if your first ever girlfriend betrayed you and everything between you for someone who was just as bad? Think about that. I ended, starting a new conversation with a number I knew full well.

Hey, I saw you and James yesterday after school. I typed.
Yeah, I know. I’m sorry. I don’t blame you if you hate me. I’m really sorry, but it was just kindof a spur of the moment thing... Brooke frantically typed, trying to protect herself, knowing that I was quick to temper.
I don’t hate you. Although most people won’t be as forgiving as I am. I informed her.
I know...
And...I think it would be less emotional stress on my part if we broke up.
OK. Was all she typed.

That was it. Not even “Bye,” just “OK”.
I even would’ve been happy with a “F*** you,” but nope.
“OK” was all she wrote.
But I didn’t care now. I was free. Really and truly free. Like breaking an addiction. You still want it back sometimes, but staying away from it is more beneficial to you.


-----------------------


'Tis the end. Hope y'all liked it.

--Michelle Koch
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Old 03-09-2006, 06:21   #2
mad_for_lena mad_for_lena is offline
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i loved it, your a great writter! keep it up! RESPECT
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Old 03-09-2006, 15:46   #3
Cats_In_The_Hat Cats_In_The_Hat is offline
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