Amusing Lyrics Club!

[Kappa]

Seeing that there's already a Happy Love song's club, I thought, what the heck, let's open something new. Right now I have no amusing lyrics so I'll post something tomorrow, but if someone wants to go ahead and make the first worthwhile post, go ahead!

[Ningyo]

Well, I find this song VERY funny...


Pussy by Lords of Acid

I wanna see your pussy - everybody says it's nice
Can I come and visit - I'll be at your house tonight
They tell me it's soft to touch and really smooth
I can hardly wait to feel that pussy too
You wanna play with pussy all the time
To hide that kinda pussy is a crime
You say your pussy's clever and so slick
But I think that your pussy's kinda sick

I wanna bet your pussy ain't as pretty as mine
I don't hide my pussy like you do all the time
My pussy's just the sweetest thing that you've ever seen
Compared to mine your pussy's really ugly and mean
I bring my pussy everywhere I go
To watch my little pussy is a show
You say your pussy's clever and so slick
But I think that your pussy's really thick

She turns into a tiger when she's ready to eat
My pussy's always hungry for a big chunk of meat
So lay your little pussy right next to mine
You can bring her over round dinnertime
My pussy is the hippest thing around
She's always been the talk of the town
You say your pussy's clever and so slick
But I think that your pussy's mighty thick (miauw, baby)

I wanna see your pussy show it to me
Let me see your pussy show it to me
Show me your pussy show it to me
I wanna pet your pussy show it to me

[taty994945]

kool thread! :P

Boyzvoice - What's happening To My Body?

na na na nanana na na
what's happening to my body
na na na nanana na na
what's happening to my body

listen everybody, 'cause I know what it means
to be livin' on the planet as a boy in the teens
it really isn't easy turning into a man
cause pu-ber-ty is part of the plan
you get pimples in your face
and braces on your teeth
and your first pubic hair
is growing underneath
your voice is crackin' up'ah
you're feeling kinda silly
when you're standing in the shower
lookin' down at your willy, going...

na na na nanana na na
what's happening to my body
na na na nanana na na
what's happening to my body

among the girls and the boys
the boys develop later
there's a girl in your class
but you don't dare to date her
so you're sad and surprised
when it comes to your knowledge
she's already bangin' boys who go to college
so the most exciting moment
of your life in the teens
is going down to Narvesen
look for dirty magazines
realizing this is not the time
for you to start dating
you spend the weekends home
alone masturbating, going...

na na na nanana na na
wat's happening to my body
na na na nanana na na
what's happening to my body

you're lucky to be young, free and single
that's what people imply
the fact is you're feeling more like
young, dumb and shy
you don't dare to smile
you don't dare to speak
you don't dare to dance
with a girl cheek to cheek
and if you have a shower
after gym with your class
you're hiding in the corner
showing nothing but your ass
and it really takes an effort
preventing an erection
when the high school nurse
does a testicle inspection

so listen, every parent
as we're finally concluding
horny, shy and ugly
makes it easy to be rude
so please forgive your son
if he seems to mis-behave
coz' he might have cut some pimples
while he was trying to shave

respect his need for privacy
its best left unsaid
if you catch him with a pile of toilet paper underneath his bed
instead you better tell him about
the bee and the flower
so he won't have to spend his life
masturbating every hour

[Kappa]

You just gave me my idea for tomorrow, Sullen.Kloun.

[Ningyo]

I could post more LoA lyrics, being that they happen to have several amusing song, but I'm such a lazy girl... So, just click here and you'll get to read them.

[Lena410]

Great idea for a thread! I'd love to post something but all the funny lyrics I know are slovakian. I'll try to come up with something.

[Mossopp]

'I Wish I Was A Girl' - by Violent Delight

I wish I was a girl so I'd see more tits
I wish I could jack by dipping in a pit
I only have a dick that's quite hairy
My ass is too, that's kinda scary

I wish I was a girl

I don't care about the blood, I don't care about the pain
Cos being a girl's the only thing that's on my brain
Being a guy can be really boring
And cross-dressing just isn't my thing

Some people think I might be gay
But I don't swing the other way
I just wanna be a girl so damn much
To feel my clit as it gets.........

But if I was a girl I couldn't drive no more
Cos I couldn't tell the difference between the clutch and the door
I'd get mood swings and I'd have to shave my pits
But I wouldn't really care cos I would have massive tits
I wouldn't have to put up with erections all the time
I'd get a better job when performing 69
Cos being a girl would be so cool
Cos when you cum you don't leave a pool

Why wasn't I a girl?
Why wasn't I a girl?
Why wasn't I a girl?
WHY?!?!?

[kishkash]

'I Wish I Was A Girl' - by Violent Delight

LMFAO i LURVE this song...so damn funny!

You brought a smile and a hella lot of laughing to my overworked afternoon Mossopp

[edit:] Can't seem to kazaa it...u got a mp3 u could send me plssss?

[luxxi]

Alanis Morissette, Forgiven

You know how us Catholic girls can be
We make up for so much time a little too late
I never forgot it, confusing as it was
No fun with no guilt feelings
Th sinners, the saviours, the loverless priests
I'll see you next sunday

We all had out reasons to be there
We all had a thing or two to learn
We all needed to cling to
So we did

I san Alleluia in the choir
I confessed my darkest sins to an envious man
My bothers they never went blind for what they did
But I may as well have
In the name of Father, the Skeptic and the Son
I had one more stupid question

What I elarned I rejected but I believe again
I will suffer the consequence of this inquisition
If I jump in this fountain will I be forgiven

We all had delusions in our head
We all had our minds made up for us
We all had to believe in soemthing
So we did

I know this song isn't supposed to be funny but I find it that way. Speciall part about simple motions.

[Tom Violence]

Chris T-T - 'Can't Stop Dreaming of Injured Pop-Stars'

Lisa from steps, she's the one with the dark hair
Curled up in a ball at the bottom of the stairs
With the blood congealing all down her sleeve
I think she severed an artery

Jon Michael-Jarre is tied upside-down
If he pissed himself he'll probably drown
Got his head in a hole and his legs in the air
And no-one cares

I saw it all happen I was there all the time
But it wasn't me
I can watch it in slow-mo but I cannot ever move
Because it's just a dream

Fuck me, it's Celine Dion
Strung up in the forest with nothing on
Quick! Climb the tree there's a noose around her throat
Get it off, or she'll never sing another note

Cliff Richard is nailed to a cross
with Lou Reed's head stuck up his arse
and Estefan crying on the livingroom floor
but she isn't really injured at all

Hey look! A shadowy figure
Running away from the scene
And in my sleep I made a villain
To wipe out the music scene

Can't stop dreaming of injured popstars
Get them out of my head somehow
One by one the popstars get cut down

Cher is there with battery acid in her hair
And Bob Dylan has a fork stuck up his nose
All around Wales the bands are on fire
As the flames lick higher they run from their homes
It only took one match to burn down Kelly Jones

And it's Michael Gambon! It's Michael Gambon!
I saw his face
Cleaning all the shit-pop from the human race



Chris T-T - 'Drink Beer'

Beer is a potion of radical charm
Use it with care and it will save you from harm
It can be a solution, it can be a good friend
A loyal companion that stays to the end
Here is a warning: sober isn't fun
You're a gutless little nothing til you get at least one
Pint of beer in your belly and a head full of ideas
The beer anchors down your fears

Drink beer, and you'll be alright
Drink beer, every day and every night
When the world is giving you a heavy old time
Drink as much as you can and you'll be fine

Kids! Stay in school, get a decent education
You'll need a steady job to pay for lubrication
Everybody searching for a reason to continue
Well the world is less rubbish with a cold beer in you
So if you're down and you're heading for a fall
It is better to have died of drink than never drunk at all
Lean on beer, when you're not strong
We all need some beer to lean on.

Drink beer, and you'll be alright
Drink beer, every day and every night
When the world is giving you a heavy old time
Drink as much as you can and you'll be fine
Drink beer, and you'll be ok
Drink beer, every night and every day...


In the wilderness with fear in my soul
I had empties all around me but I'm taking control
I went to town, got my money from the bank
Then I went down to the wetherspoon's...
And drank.

Drink beer, and you'll be ok
Drink beer, every night and every day
Keep your eyes on the prize at the bottom of the glass
And drink it down fast, drink it down fast

Drink beer, and you'll be alright
Drink beer, every day and every night
When the world is giving you a heavy old time
Drink as much as you can and you'll be fine



Half-Man Half-Biscuit - 'Vatican Broadside'

The singer out of Slipknot went to Rome to see the Pope
The singer out of Slipknot went to Rome to see the Pope
The singer out of Slipknot went to Rome to see the Pope
And the Pope said to his aide...

Who the fucking hell are Slipknot -
Who the fucking hell are Slipknot -
Who the fucking hell are Slipknot -
In relation to me getting out of bed?

[madeldoe]

okay these may be a tad bit vulgar, but i find them highly amusing


Put It In Ya Mouth - Akinyele

Intro:
my baby left me, left me sad and blue
I didn't know what to do
and then I met his best friend
and he took me to his house
and I said...I said...
(what you said baby) let me tell you what I said
Put it in my mouth
She said put it in her mouth
I said my muthafuckin mouth
I mean her muthafuckin mouth
Put it in my mouth
She said put it in her mouth
my muthafuckin mouth

Verse
You wanna go down why not
I be like Herbie and han you a cock
and tell you that my name is AK
get on your kness, make like the breeze begin to blow
but dont give me no Ralph Loren grin
if your not down to go low >deep in my mouth
I'm all about mouth fuckin
only if you down for dick suckin
if not, be chair and a beer...keep truckin
and fuck chap sticks
I'm comin ashy as hell, wit chapped dicks
for your chapped ass lips >down in my mouth
creamin your teeth like dentists as Im rubbin them
with an erection like injections
fuck it I be druggin them
numbing up your tonsils
like ambesol anesthetic
cummin down your throat like chloraseptic no time for
apologin..girlfriend if you.....
swallowin{gurgle}....gagolin
I'm givin bitches permanent beers
put your lips here
and catch these damn facial hairs in your mouth

Put it in my mouth
Put it in your mouth
I said my muthafuckin mouth
I said your muthafuckin mouth
or you can just eat me out
or I can just eat you out
you can eat me out
yeah, whats that all about
Now you can lick it, you can sip it, you can taste it
I'm talkin every drip-drop, don't you waste it
baby, slurp it up, its enough to fill your cup
its finger lickin good
and Im wishin it would
go down kinda slow or even fast
I'm always sprung once I feel your tongue
In the crack of my ass, just eatin me-nigga
goin out like that boy you pack such a tasty treat
and you can e a t m e o u t
but put it your my mouth
put it in your mouth
I said your muthafuckin mouth
I said your muthafuckin mouth
and you could just eat me out
what do ya choose to lick
you could eat me out
pussy or dick?
put it in your mouth
people through out the world
I said your muthafuckin mouth
man it's your pick
put it in my mouth
what do ya choose to lick
put it in my mouth
pussy or dick?
I said my muthafuckin mouth
people through out the world
just put it in my mouth
yeah it's your pick
muthafuckin mouth
what do you wanna lick
and you could just eat me out
pussy or dick?
in my mouth
people through out the world
put it in my mouth
its..your..pick..hah
baby-baby in my mouth
its your pick..pick
let me go down
uhh, uhh
people through out the world





Ho - Ludacris

(Chorus)
Hooooooooo (Ho)
Youza Hoooooo (Ho)
Youza Hoooooo (Ho)
I said that youza hooooo (Ho)
(Repeat 1x)

(Ludacris)
You doin ho activities
With ho tendencies
Hos are your friends, hoes are your enemies
With ho energy to do whacha do
Blew whacha blew
Screw whacha screw
Yall professional like DJ Clue, pullin on my coat tail
an why do you think you take a ho to a hotel?
Hotel everybody, even the mayor
Reach up in tha sky for tha hozone laya
Come on playa once a ho always
And hos never close they open like hallways
An heres a ho cake for you whole ho crew
an everybody wants some cuz hoes gotta eat too

(chorus x2)

(Ludacris)
Cant turn a ho into a housewife
Hos dont act right
Theres hos on a mission, an hoes on a crackpipe
Hey ho how ya doin, where ya been?
Prolly doin ho stuff cuz there you ho again
Its a ho wide world, that we livin in
feline, feminine, fantastical, women
Not all, just some
You ho who you are
Theres hoes in tha room, theres hoes in tha car
theres hoes on stage, theres hoes by tha bar
hos by near, an hos by far
Ho! (But can i getta ride?!)
NO! (Cmon, nigga why?!)
Cuz youza

(chorus 2x)

(Ludacris)
You gotta run in your pantyhos
Even your daddy knows
that you suckin down chocolate like daddy-o's
You hos are horrible, horrendous
On taxes ya'll writin off hos as dependents
I see tha ho risin
it aint surprisin
its just a hoasis
with ugly chicks faces
but hos dont feel so sad and blue
cuz most of us niggaz is hos too

(chorus x2)

(Ho)
Muthafuckas im so tiired of yall niggaz always talkin
bout hos this, hos that, you tha muthafuckin ho nigga
I wasnt no ho last night

(Pimp)
Ho, bring yo ass!

(Ho)
Ok, hold on

[Khartoun2004]

Both Hands by Ani Difranco

i am walking
out in the rain
and i am listening to the low moan
of the dial tone again
and i am getting
nowhere with you
and i can't let it go
and i can't get through...
the old woman behind the pink curtains
and the closed door
on the first floor
she's listening through the air shaft
to see how long our swan song can last
and both hands
now use both hands
oh, no don't close your eyes
i am writing
graffiti on your body
i am drawing the story of
how hard we tried
i am watching your chest rise and fall
like the tides of my life,
and the rest of it all
and your bones have been my bedframe
and your flesh has been my pillow
i am waiting for sleep
to offer up the deep
with both hands
in each other's shadows we grew less and less tall
and eventually our theories couldn't explain it all
and i'm recording our history now on the bedroom wall
and when we leave the landlord will come
and paint over it all
and i am walking
out in the rain
and i am listening to the low moan of the dial tone again
and i am getting nowhere with you
and i can't let it go
and i can't get through
so now use both hands
please use both hands
oh, no don't close your eyes
i am writing graffiti on your body
i am drawing the story of how hard we tried
hard we tried
how hard we tried


I love just about all of Ani Difranco's songs. She's my hero.

[cirrus]

This one's good - if you've ever wanted your friends mom.

Fountains of Wayne - Stacy's Mom
Stacy, can i come over after school? (after school)
We can hang around by the pool (hung by the pool)
Did your mom get back from her business trip? (business trip)
Is she there, or is she trying to give me the slip? (give me the slip)

You know, I'm not the little boy that I used to be
I'm all grown up now, baby can't you see

Stacy's mom has got it goin' on
She's all I want and I've waited for so long
Stacy, can't you see you're just not the girl for me
I know it might be wrong but I'm in love with Stacy's mom

Stacy's mom has got it goin' on
Stacy's mom has got it goin' on

Stacy, do you remember when I mowed your lawn? (mowed your lawn)
Your mom came out with just a towel on (towel on)
I could tell she liked me from the way she stared
And the way she said, "You missed a spot over there"

And I know that you think it's just a fantasy
But since your dad walked out, your mom could use a guy like me

Stacy's mom has got it goin' on
She's all I want, and I've waited so long
Stacy, can't you see you're just not the girl for me
I know it might be wrong,
but I'm in love with Stacy's mom




Get ready for some wierd...

Nina Hagen - Antiworld

Once upon a time
When Jesus was walking down his way on Earth
He met this man who was possessed by a demon!

And Jesus asked the man: "why do you speak so funny, and why do you behave like that?"
And the man said: "Well Jesus, because I'm possessed by a demon."

"GO OUT!" Jesus said.
And the demon went out into the pig...
And the pig was rrrrrruning away...
Screaming...

And the man was free.
Do you see?
"If you only could believe," Jesus said.
"Everything is possible for those who believe..."



Crazy German 80s Punk Icon, Nina Hagen. You've gotta hear her talk like the possessed man. Hilarious. Don't worry about the Christian thing - this song is wierd!

[Mossopp]

'Kiss Me Where It Smells Funny' - by The Bloodhound Gang

You came twice last year like a Sears catalog,
Cause your last boyfriend makes love like Boss Hogg,
Well now you're seeing me but soon I'll have you seeing God,
Cause girl I'll get you panting like you're Pavlov's dog,
Like a DC-10: guaranteed to go down,
But baby your black box is the one that I found,
I'll give you the gift that keeps on givin' it won't cost you any money,
Then she grabbed me by the ears and said "kiss me where it smells funny!".

So down I go like I'm 2000 Flushes,
I can tell I'm doing something right by the way that she blushes,
She's one that's speechless, I'm the one that's tongue tied,
She's thinking "holy mackerel!" I'm thinking "tuna on the side",
There must be something wrong with Al Pacino's nose,
Cause the 'Scent Of A Woman' is like rotten tomatoes,
Yeah I'm snorkeling for clams and it doesn't matter if I wanna be,
Don't come up for air until you kiss me where it smells funny!

Drop my face below her waist and stay on third base,
I can tell that the cherry's ripe by the way it tastes,
Yeah I could make a lot of wine with the yeast I find inside her panties,
And then drink it while I'm eating out down at the Seafood Shanty.

[thegurgi]

Originally posted by Khartoun2004
Ani Difranco

hahaha! On my English Desk is COVERED in quotes from her!

Hrmmm... funny lyrics, funny lyrics...

Well, to truly enjoy just how funny this song is, you should see the VIDEO... < laughs like mad thinking about it >.
This is a Christain Rap Song, and was not intended to be funny... but, it's just hilarious in how horrible it is:
T-BONE - Ride Wit Me:
Who this rapper tryin to step to me
Talkin bout you ain't really bout that ministry
Child please, we's them G's on them knees
Preachin from California to the Florida Keys, we be
Slangin the WORD, while they smokin they're herb
And dippin 64's, hittin switches on the curb
Then swerve back in place, bump that bass
Wit that sanctafied sound produced by that playa Chase
Like Mase, "Im fittin, makin ya feel so good"
When I bump this gospel music in your hood, Inglewood
West Covina, Pasadena, then take it to my gente, in Puente
I can't forget about all my patnas in the 415, 510, 916
Make them chips, we stick together like cement and bricks
Now just bounce to this playalisctic Boneybone hit

Dip bounce, side to side
And come ride wit a play from that killa Cali westside
Pyscho, westcoast, rider, music
For you and all your dawgs to ride to

Shh, ain't not talkin, while I'm puttin demons in coffins
Dippin in the Cadillac bumpin Dawkins and Dawkins
Got me wrapped up, tied up
If you love Cali, playa throw the Westside up
now watch me ride like them hell's angels
In them Harleys, or them cowboys wit the blue wranglers

Swingin ther lasso, screamin wild wild west
Cuz where I'm from, you need a bullet prrof vest
Smoke the what for your stress
Nah dawg, hold up, wait a minute
Cuz ain't no high unless the Holy Ghost ain't rolled up in it
I get drunk in the spirit on a day to day basis
And preach the WORD, to my patnas catchin cases
Racist clicks too, piru flamed up in blue
Crips too, God wanna bless you
2, 3, 4 and 5, now close your eyes
And bump this in your ride while you glide and...

I just can't stop, makin suacy gospel hip hop
Fittin do this, til the day that I drop
Like Tupac, "who do you believe in"
I put my faith in God, blessed to be breathin
Preachin to the heathen, buckin them demons
Oh what a feelin, got the crowd screamin
Dancin on the ceilin
So hate if you wanna man, say what you say
But gospel rap wit Bone is like LA wit out a Dr. Dre
Or Sway without Tech, catchin wreck
Or these Californias streets without a ghetto vet
It ain't happenin, Bibles I'm still packin them
And jackin demons wit them 44 magnums


< laughs like mad >

[rivierakid]

I don't remember where the heck I heard this song, but the lyrics crack me up!

I Must Increase My Bust - Lords of Acid

Do that dance

I must, I must, I must increase my bust (x4)

I've got to admit I'm obsessed by tits
I've had this problem since I was a kid
I used to look up to my Auntie Marie
Because she had big tits hanging down to her knees
Her nipples were poking right out of her gown
If boobs could be wings she'd be flying around
As I grew older I made up my mind
I'd get me the biggest ones I could find

Do that dance

I must, I must, I must increase my bust (x4)

Do that dance

I must, I must, I must increase my bust (x4)

My ass just got bigger and my boobs stayed the same
I had to do something cause I was ashamed
I filled up my bra with melons and see
I looked like a faggot, a vamp in 3-D
The trick with the melons, a shot in the eye
Not long did I wait to catch the first guy
But of course I forgot that melons do rot
I smelled like garbage, shit warmed up

Do that dance

I must, I must, I must increase my bust (x4)

I got a new plan, the idea is real cool
I decided to go to a gymnastics school
There I found out that I'm not alone
Suffering from this flat-chested syndrome
So when I wake up or go back into bed
I remember the wise words that my teacher said,
"If you want your man to drown in your lust,
You must, you must, increase your bust."

Do that dance

I must, I must, I must increase my bust (x4)

Do that dance

I must, I must, I must increase my bust (x4)

[Echoed]

Cows With Guns
By Dana Lyons

[font=Arial]Fat and docile, big and dumb,
They look so stupid, they aren't much fun...
(Cows aren't fun.)

They eat to grow, grow to die,
Die to be et at the hamburger fry...
(Cows well done.)

Nobody thunk it, nobody knew,
No one imagined the great cow guru...
(Cows are one.)

He hid in the forest, read books with great zeal,
He loved Che Guevera, a revolutionary veal...
(Cow Tse Tongue.)

He spoke about justice, but nobody stirred,
He felt like an outcast, alone in the herd...
(Cow doldrums.)

He mooed we must fight, escape or we'll die.
Cows gathered around, 'cause the steaks were so high.
(Bad cow pun.)

But then he was captured, stuffed into a crate,
Loaded onto a truck, where he rode to his fate...
(Cows are bummed.)

He was a scrawny calf, who looked rather woozy,
No one suspected he was packing an Uzi.
(Cows with guns.)

They came with a needle to stick in his thigh,
He kicked for the groin, he pissed in their eye.
(Cow well hung.)

Knocked over a tractor and ran for the door,
Six gallons of gas flowed out on the floor.
(Run, cows, run!)

He picked up a bullhorn and jumped up on the hay,
"We are free roving bovines, we run free today!"

We will fight for bovine freedom,
And hold our large heads high.
We will run free with the Buffalo, or die...
Cows with guns.

They crashed the gate, in a great stampede,
Tipped over a milk truck, torched all the feed.
(Cows have fun.)

Sixty police cars were piled in a heap,
Covered in cow pies, covered up deep.
(Much cow dung.)

Black smoke rising, darkening the day.
Twelve burning McDonalds, "Have it your way..."

We will fight for bovine freedom,
And hold our large heads high.
We will run free with the Buffalo, or die.
Cows with guns.

The President said, "Enough is enough!
These uppity cattle, it's time to get tough!"
(Cow dung flung.)

The newspapers gloated, folks sighed with relief.
Tomorrow at noon, they would all be ground beef.
(Cows on buns.)

The cows were surrounded, they waited and prayed.
They mooed their last moos, they chewed their last hay.
(Cows out gunned.)

The order was given to turn cows to whoppers,
Enforced by the might of ten thousand coppers.
But on the horizon, surrounding the shoppers...
Came the deafening roar of chickens... in choppers.

We will fight for bovine freedom,
And hold our large heads high.
We will run free with the Buffalo, or die.
Cows with guns.[/font]

---

Some would argue this is my theme song. *Cackles.*

~Echo.

[ypsidan04]

Nelly - Ride Wit Me - I like this. It's only pseudo-rap - if you're not into most rap, you might like this. Hope you don't mind some of the language.

If you wanna go and take a ride wit me
We three-wheelin in the fo' with the gold D's
Oh why do I live this way? (Hey, must be the money!)

If you wanna go and get high wit me
Smoke a L in the back of the Benz-y
Oh why must I feel this way? (Hey, must be the money!)

[Verse 1]
In the club on the late night, feelin right
Lookin tryin to spot somethin real nice
Lookin for a little shorty hot and horny so that I can take home
(I can take home)
She can be 18 (18) wit an attitude
or 19 kinda snotty actin real rude
Boo, as long as you a thicky thicky thick girl you know that it's on
(Know that it's on)
I peep something comin towards me up the dance floor
Sexy and real slow (hey)
Sayin she was peepin and I dig the last video
So when Nelly, can we go; how could I tell her no?
Her measurements were 36-25-34
Yellin I like the way you brush your hair
And I like those stylish clothes you wear
I like the way the light hit the ice and glare
And I can see you boo from way over there

[Chorus]

[Verse 2]
Face and body front and back, don't know how to act
Without no vouchers or boozers she's bringin nuttin back
You should feel the impact, shop on plastic
when the sky's the limit and them haters can't get past that
Watch me as I gas that, 4.6 Range
Watch the candy paint change, everytime I switch lanes
It feel strange now
Makin a livin off my brain, instead of 'caine now
I got the title from my momma put the whip in my own name now
Damn shit done changed now
Runnin credit checks with no shame now
I feel the fame now (come on), I can't complain now (no more)
Shit I'm the mayne now, in and out my own town
I'm gettin pages out of New Jersey, from Courtney B.
Tellin me about a party up in NYC
Can I make it? Damn right, I be on the next flight
Payin cash; first class - sittin next to Vanna White

[Chorus 2X]

[Verse 3]
Check, check -- yo, I know somethin you don't know
And I got somethin to tell ya
You won't believe how many people, straight doubted the flow
Most said that I was a failure
But now the same motherfuckers askin me fo' dough
And I'm yellin, "I can't help ya"
"But Nelly can we get tickets to the next show?"
Hell no (what's witchu?!) you for real?!

[City Spud]
Hey yo, now that I'm a fly guy, and I fly high
Niggaz wanna know why, why I fly by
But yo it's all good, Range Rover all wood
Do me like you should - fuck me good, suck me good
We be no stud niggaz, wishin you was niggaz
Poppin like we drug dealers, sippin Crissy, bubb' mackin
Honey in the club, me in the Benz
Icy grip, tellin me to leave wit you and your friends
So if shorty wanna... knock, we knockin to this
And if shorty wanna... rock, we rockin to this
And if shorty wanna... pop, we poppin the Crist'
Shorty wanna see the ice, then I ice the wrist
City talk, Nelly listen; Nelly talk, city listen
When I fuck fly bitches; when I walk pay attention
See the ice and the glist'; niggaz starin or they diss
Honies lookin all they wish - come on boo, gimme kiss

Willa Ford - I Wanna Be Bad

Oh, I, I, I
I wanna be bad with you baby
I, I, I, I
I wanna be bad with you baby Do you, understand what I need, need (from you)
Just let me be the girl to show you (you)
Everything that you can be is everything that I can be
I wanna be
My turn
Let me let you know that I can (I can)
Promise that I won't do that
So boy, save it 'til my place cause you make me wanna loose my head I wanna be bad
You make that look so good
I got things on my mind
I never thought I would
I,I wanna be bad (bad)
You make that feel so good
I'm loosing all my cools
I'm about to break the rules
I,I wanna be bad I wanna be bad with you baby
I, I, I, I, I wanna be bad with you baby What's up?
Tell me what you do honey
To teach me
All you want is me but I,
So whatcha other girl gonna see from messin' around with me
When your hanging with me Should I boy
Tell you what I got is what you want?
Tell, tell me boy want me boy?
Oh No one does it like me I wanna be bad
You make that look so good
I got things on my mind
I never thought I would
I,I wanna be bad (bad)
You make that feel so good
I'm loosing all my cools
I'm about to break the rules
I,I wanna be bad I wanna be bad with you baby
I, I, I, I, I wanna be bad with you baby I wanna be bad with you baby
I, I, I, I, I wanna be bad with you baby I wanna be bad
You make that look so good
I got things on my mind
I never thought I would
I,I wanna be bad (bad)
You make that feel so good
I'm loosing all my cools
I'm about to break the rules
I,I wanna be bad

Barenaked Ladies - Get in Line
Everywhere I go someone’s tryin’ to be my girlfriend’s best friend
I’m tryin’ to pretend I’m relaxed but I’m playin’ castanets with my knees
I try to be cool and give her space
But a guy’s always there ready to jump right up and take my place
Everyone in this room seems to want to make a big fool out of me.

Everybody open you’re mouth
Everybody just say ahhhhh (ah ahh ahh ahhhhh)
Everything will be all right
If you play along

Everywhere I go there’s someone in a trench coat staring at me
When I’m not at home I’m sure someone’s rummaging through my trash
Whatever could they want from me
Is it just a part of a giant government conspiracy?
I gotta go see my doctor about this itchy pentagram-shaped rash.

Everybody open you’re mouth
Everybody just say ahhhhh (ah ahh ahh ahhhhh)
Everything will be all right
This won’t hurt at all

Everybody get in line
Everybody turn and cough (cooouuuggghhh)
Everything will be all right
If you just lay off

Dictate a memo to myself
Try to find if I’m the only one in complete health
Consult contemporaries if there’s some to see
There really isn’t anyone who’s in my league

Every night at elaine’s someone thinks they have to find beyond me
I try to take three deep breaths as I lock and arm my mini-van
Everyone says I’m looking great
But it’s hard to stand-up let alone to try to concentrate
I wish that everyone that I knew hadn’t sold out to the man

Everybody open you’re mouth
Everybody just say ahhhhh (ah ahh ahh ahhhhh)
Everything will be all right
This won’t hurt at all

Everybody get in line
Everybody turn and cough (cooouuuggghhh)
Everything will be all right
If you just lay
Everything will be all right
If you just lay
Everything will be all right
If you just lay off

[Disengage]

Are there any Primus fans out there? I'm not myself but I know they had pretty bizarre lyrics.

[DAZ]

"Friggin' In The Riggin'"-By The Sex Pistols

It was on the good ship Venus
By Christ, ya shoulda seen us
The figurehead was a whore in bed
And the mast, a mammoth penis

The captain of this lugger
He was a dirty bugger
He wasn't fit to shovel sh*t
From one place to another

[Chorus:]
Friggin' in the riggin'
Friggin' in the riggin'
Friggin' in the riggin'
There was f*ck all else to do

The captain's name was Morgan
By Christ, he was a gorgon
Ten times a day he'd stop and play
With his f*ckin' organ

The first mate's name was Cooper
By Christ he was a trooper.
He jerked and jerked until he worked
Himself into a stupor

[Chorus]

The second mate was Andy
By Christ, he had a dandy
Till they crushed his c*ck on a jagged rock
For cumming in the brandy

The cabin boy was Flipper
He was a f*ckin' nipper
He stuffed his ass with broken glass
And circumcised the skipper

[Chorus]

The Captain's wife was Mabel
To f*ck she was not able
So the dirty sh*ts, they nailed her tits
Across the barroom table

The Captain had a daughter
Who fell in deep sea water
And by her squeals we knew the eels
Had found 'er sexual quarters

[Repeat Chorus to Fade]

A lovely sea shanty that.