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08-03-2003, 02:27 | #1 |
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Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Sweden/France
Age: 54
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Blurred & clear (verse)
[font=arial]As dreams are blurred in the daylight,
Reality appears so clear. But then true servants of the night, Make change of cast ride through your mind, And all your dreams become so real. Tomorrow seems blurred to me, A grip of Present's sharp and clear. Until daydreamers will predict, How my Future's gonna be. Their own presence is surreal. The relativity of things, Is a well-known law of nature. Where 'Primus inter pares' is, With secrets of all centuries, There lies an answer to your question.[/font] Aug. 01 |
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Olga | TatySite.net t.E.A.m. [ ritzer@hotmail.com ] Latest News: | Tatu gallery | Current News | News Archive Last edited by Echoed; 08-03-2003 at 02:33. |
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08-03-2003, 02:37 | #2 |
I'm a Dust Bunny!
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Montréal, Canada
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Though the structure is a little confusing, I can create an image from what you've written. And I like it. Very nice, Forre.
~Echo. |
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Quietly weaving, Tiredly leaving, Another today, Again tomorrow Together dismay, And raining sorrow. Le noir, la gloire... On se demande bien. Mais comm' je t'adore, lorsque je m'endors... |
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08-03-2003, 02:40 | #3 |
Primetime Anchor
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Echoed, sure. The strucure may fail. Can't write that good in English. May be in the future.
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Olga | TatySite.net t.E.A.m. [ ritzer@hotmail.com ] Latest News: | Tatu gallery | Current News | News Archive Last edited by forre; 08-03-2003 at 02:52. |
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08-03-2003, 02:45 | #4 |
I'm a Dust Bunny!
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Montréal, Canada
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Well, if this is what you write as your third (?) language, I'd say it's pretty damn impressive. ^_^
~Echo. |
~~~~~~~~~~~
Quietly weaving, Tiredly leaving, Another today, Again tomorrow Together dismay, And raining sorrow. Le noir, la gloire... On se demande bien. Mais comm' je t'adore, lorsque je m'endors... |
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09-03-2003, 00:08 | #5 |
I'm not O 'fucking' K
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not bad... but a little bit hard to read..
in general u did good %) nice poem... it makes me think %) |
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