Le change!

[guesshoo]

*pats mossopp on the back* i'm proud of you. keep up the good work!

[parrish122]

*cheers on Mossopp*

Good going kiddo! You've started. And as Lena410 said, even starting took a lot of courage.

Parrish

[rivierakid]

*joins the cheering* GO MOSSOPP GO!!

*waves a flag that says "YOU GO MOSSOPP!"*

[taty994945]

haha this is funny stuff! you can do it Mossopp!!
im sure your liver is cheering for you as well!

[parrish122]

More of a test today. I had to spend my work shift with my manager, who was smoking like crazy. Basically, I kept finding things to do that would get me away from her, so that I wouldn't be quite so tempted to ask her for a cigarette.

I *did* snap at a customer, but he deserved it.

*Cheers on all the folks who are going on this journey*

Parrish

[Mossopp]

I couldn't sleep at all last night. That's one good thing that alcohol has done for me - it allowed me to sleep. It numbs my brain and kills all those nasty little thoughts that run round and round in my head sniping and taunting me. I don't think the sleeplessness is going to go away. It has always been a problem for me and sleeping pills never worked - sometimes even getting drunk didn't do the trick. I dunno. Sleep is the least of my troubles now anyway. Although it was nice to wake up in the morning and not have a headache or a dry mouth.
I know it's only my 2nd day but I really started to get anxious this afternoon. I was sitting in my office at lunchtime, listening to Camp Kill Yourself (so much for trying to keep my mood light, huh! ) and staring out the window at the gray sky. I thought "I'd really love to just get wrecked right now!" and then I got really angry with myself cos I knew I couldn't (well, I guess I could but I didn't want to flake out after less than 48 hours!). My mood got pretty dark there for a while.
I had absolutely nothing to do this evening and I was worried about what I could do to keep myself occupied. I called Kirsty, fully expecting her to be up in the city in some club with her army of friends or back at her own place in Aberdeen. Turns out she was still at her parents house just up the road from me so she came down and we watched 'Show Me Love' and argued about what movie Angelina Jolie looks hottest in. It struck me that every time I've seen Kirsty in the past year - maybe 5 or 6 times - I've been drunk and can't really remember much about our meetings. In some instances I'd deliberately gotten drunk before seeing her cos I couldn't handle listening to her talk about how much she's been doing and how many girls she's been seeing and how happy she is. I stand by my decision to drink on all those occasions cos listening to someone tell you how how great their life is when you are sober and miserable isn't really much fun. Still, at least her visit gave me something to occupy myself with and I guess it was kind of nice to have a conversation with her that I know I will remember tomorrow!

Thanks for all the support and encouragement, everyone. Knowing that people are rooting for me gives me an added incentive to really give this my best shot.
But there are other people trying to change their lifestyles here as well and they deserve just as much, if not more, support as I do. My problem is self-inflicted - I really don't deserve any sympathy or comfort at all.

[guesshoo]

way to go parrish, only 10 days more!
now i have a question for u. what is your occupation?

and as for you mossopp, keep up the good work. i know you're frustrated, but in the end its worth it! oh yeah, and the same question that went for parrish goes for you too.

darje, keep trying hard, i know that kind of thing takes dedication and determination, but just remember, we're all cheering you guys on! oh yeah, the same question goes for you as well.

i hope you guys don't mind my asking. and if you don't wanna answer you most certainly don't have to.

[Mossopp]

Originally posted by guesshoo
what is your occupation?

I'm an Accounts Assistant. I spend 8 hours a day in a damp, dull little office where I'm underpaid and undervalued by my superiors and co-workers.

[XSpex]

...I spend 8 hours a day in a damp, dull little office where I'm underpaid and undervalued by my superiors and co-workers.

...oh, I have been there, I can understand you...

It's nice to see the changes you people are doing are to improve your health!!

Go Mossopp! Go Parrish! Go Darje!

[Kappa]

Day 5
Day 1 of Wu Shu

Holy celestial mutter... I can't feel my legs...

I started Wu Shu training today and to say the least I'm very happy. It had been a WHILE since I trained like that, not to mention made my poor shirt almost transparent in perspitration. *Watches the ladies swoon.*

Needless to say, Wu Shu is harder than Tae Kwon Do. All those swift movements! Nothing like having to stop on your tracks on TKD.

sasha, are you a fan or sumthin'? I was planning to post some pictures, yes, but that'll be until day 7. Who knows. If by the end of two weeks, this works for parrish and mossopp, I will go on posting until I have washboard abs, and that's a promise. :P

[parrish122]

Dear God...I think I'm coughing up *all* the tar that I managed to put into my lungs since I started back smoking two years ago.

Oh, I work at a convenience store. Which means I too am undervalued...by everyone! LOL. Seriously, people tend to figure that if I'm working there I must have an I.Q. lower than most doorknobs. Plus they just did a study that said that only taxi drivers have a more dangerous job in America.

Oh yeah, I *love* my job. LOL

Plus, I have to deal with the fact that I am constantly around cigarettes while at work. Fun!

Still hanging on though.

Parrish

[prostrel]

Originally posted by Mossopp
I couldn't sleep at all last night. That's one good thing that alcohol has done for me - it allowed me to sleep. It numbs my brain and kills all those nasty little thoughts that run round and round in my head sniping and taunting me. I don't think the sleeplessness is going to go away. It has always been a problem for me and sleeping pills never worked - sometimes even getting drunk didn't do the trick.

Mossopp I`ll keep my fingers grossed and my thoughts are with you!

But I`m concerned about your sleeping problem. So, Mossopp, how much do you get excercise during the day? You work at office so you are all day indoor, right? And your way to work, is it long and how do you go to work? Do you walk, by bus...?
Because the best way to get a good night`s sleep is to be as much as possible outdoor in fresh air and do some excercise. 1 or 2 hours walk at the brisk pace in fresh air daily can be miraculous! If you get your body tired enough you will sleep like a baby. And it doesn`t cost you anything, it `s free. But don`t do it just before you are going to bed, do it at least 2 hours before you want to go to sleep. And don`t walk past the pubs This is how you are able to be away your home and parents too. Maybe you can wheedle someone walk with you. Whenever I have problems I go for a long walk. Your can`t run away your thoughts while walking and troubles don`t go away just like that, but I have noticed that they have less weight though, after 2 hours walking trip.

Just try it Mossopp, you`ll be surprised!

[Kappa]

Mossopp, to go to bed and actually sleep, you should be actually getting TIRED. Do something good, like exercise or chores or something, that'll keep your mind from alcohol and kick the air outta you so you go to bed tired.

[Veggie Delite]

hey parrish, try consuming a lot of honey with tea or milk. it helps a lot in emtying your lungs. my grandpa told me this it realy helps
or try jogging

[Mossopp]

Has it only been 3 days?? It feels like a week! Time is dragging really slowly. The work-day feels like an eternity cos I don't have the thought of "Don't worry Mossopp, you can go home and get smashed at 5!" to drive me on. And the evenings seem endless cos I'm just running in circles trying to find something, anything, to keep my mind off things.
I think I now realise just how far my problem has gone and how f#cked-up I am not to have done something about it sooner.
I still can't sleep even although my entire body seems to ache and my eyelids start feeling heavy at about 3pm!
Tomorrow it's gonna get tougher. Weekdays I have work and I've never drank at work cos if I lose my job I'm a goner! That's 8 hours of the day when I know I can keep out of trouble. But on Saturday and Sunday I don't have work - I have all day to get into a mess. I've been trying to organise activities to keep myself busy. I'm going to the cinema on Sunday afternoon (I cancelled my previously arranged trip to the pub!) and I'm going shopping tomorrow morning. Other than that I've got far too much time on my hands!

I hope I'm not boring any of you - I notice that my 'diary entries' are a lot longer than everyone else's. It's just that I think putting my thoughts into words is kinda helping me on some small level.
Thanks for listening.

Mossopp
x x

[DAZ]

Mossop..the best thing i ever done was stop drinking in the house.Don't get me wrong i enjoyed a "carry oot" like most people but you drink SO much more when you're at home and end up in a worse state than you do in a pub.
At least in a pub you know you have to watch your money.
As for sleeping Do you stay near a shore?
Nothing like a walk along the shore to make you sleep when you get back home.
Nothing like a nice sunset as well. (although in Scotland these will be rare in the coming months)

[guesshoo]

keep hope alive mossopp, darje and parrish.
just remember, guesshoo has faith in you!

ps. mossopp, don't worry about the length of our posts, i don't mind reading them and i'm sure no one else does.

[parrish122]

I'm with everybody else on this Mossopp, I find your posts interesting.

Tea with honey eh? I'll have to try that. I just got up to start getting ready for work, and can't seem to stop coughing. Ick. Don't start smoking gang. Trust me. It's hard to quit. I'd started when I was 14 and smoked until I was 25. Then, like an idiot, started again two years ago. <Sigh>

Parrish

[Kappa]

Mossopp, I dunno if it's of any importance to you, but I'd be so very proud of you (in a friends level) if by the end of two weeks you achieved your goal. In fact I'm glad you decided to go ahead with this, because not many people have the strenght to do what you want to do, and I'm even more glad at the fact that you write a lot about it because it lets me appreciate you're not enjoying this but you're doing this for your own health.

About your body pains: those ought to stop in about three/four more days. It's just your body decomposing all the toxines that haven't got a chance to get backups because you haven't been drinking. Keep on like that, suddenly you'll be over the surface and feeling the sun on your face (even if that's a metaphore in Scotland :P).

I have a confession to make, so you guys don't think of giving up. I gave up weed 2 and a half months ago. Due to some events that happened not a week ago with someone, I've been caressing the idea of smoking again, but it is this thread that keeps me going without it.

[prostrel]

Originally posted by darje
I have a confession to make, so you guys don't think of giving up. I gave up weed 2 and a half months ago. Due to some events that happened not a week ago with someone, I've been caressing the idea of smoking again, but it is this thread that keeps me going without it.

Darje , that`s great! Just keep going without it, my supporting thoughts are with you!

I smoke my first cigarette when I was 10. After that I got incredible awful headache so there was no need to light up another, so I have never been a smoker. I don`t know personally how hard it is to quite smoking, but I can imagine how tough process it is so all I can do is to keep my fingers crossed to our nonsmoking -club persons, Parrish, $in and Darje, and hope for the best. Keep on going the RIGHT WAY guys!
Mossopp, doesn`t matter how long your posts are, I read them all.