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A Story of Mine...

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Old 15-02-2009, 22:39   #1
Cats_In_The_Hat Cats_In_The_Hat is offline
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A Story of Mine...

I've got a story I'm working on. I'm at chapter 3 and I'm still working on it. I'll post the first part of it here for y'all to read. If so much as one person comments saying that they like it, then I'll post the rest of what I've written and then post as I'm in the process of writing. Well, I'll spare the boring talk and post the first section:


Love and Power


1.1 The Beginning - Ember

The wind whistled furiously in my ear and I pushed my black feathery wings to their limit - flapping them rapidly in the air, creating vortexes of pressure to propel me forward faster. I was traveling at speeds that would make a Ferrari jealous - hot on the trail of Revenant. Miniscule metal balls on the chain around my neck clinked against each other, the heaviest area whipping the rest of the necklace around in the air currents. The heaviest area - in relativity to the other parts of the necklace, anyway - was the device on the chain that I can use to create a spark.

You’d think someone would notice me flying around in the sky, right? That’s what I thought too, but I haven’t seen my face on front page news quite yet (not to say I haven’t tried).

Picking up speed, I could now make out a few of Revenant’s features. A thick whistling noise boomed in synch with each flap of his jet black leathery wings piercing the air. With a huge burst of my wings and a grunt of effort, I gave myself one last push forward then pulled my wings in close to my body, cut through the air and was suddenly right on his tail. Literally. The tip of his tail fit easily in my clawed fingers, making the job of yanking him towards me nearly effortless. With a swift swing of my right arm, my claws caught the edge of one of his wings - ripping holes in the delicate skin. He snarled and glared into my eyes. Piercing blue eyes the color of a cloudless spring sky which were set under heavy, yet thin black eyebrows. Short, wild hair the same jet black of his wings. Fangs and claws which rivaled mine in length. A long, muscular body that resembled that of a swimmer’s. A rugged, weathered look that tells a hundred stories, mesmerizing and repelling all the same. That was Revenant. He was like me - hated by everyone except for others like him.

He whipped his body around and, wrenching his jaws open, jutted his head towards my forearm. I shifted away and elbowed him square in the nose. He grimaced and his tail twirled behind me and caught me around the waist. I hated that. I had faced dozens of enemies, but I still couldn’t defend from tails yet. That was the one thing characteristic to a majority of my race that I didn’t have, thus I knew next to nothing about how it works - the closest thing to it that I had was a whip-like weapon with barbs every few inches, which I pulled out from its holster on my thigh and whipped it at him. His head snapped away from me and when he turned to look back at me, a thin line of blood appeared on his cheek, ran down his face to his chin and dripped off towards the earth. My lungs filled with air as the pressure around my waist disappeared and, with a furious flap of his wings, Revenant shot to the ground below. Like a hawk chasing its prey, I followed him.

When I was close to him I let out with another strike from the whip. It wrapped around his ankle and held tight. I wrapped the other end of the whip around my hand a couple times and yanked him towards me. He stopped flapping his wings and flipped his body around to face me, waiting for me to come for him. I took his chance. With my free hand I grabbed the chain around my neck, flicked the switch and let go with a blast of fire - aiming it straight towards Revenant. His wings slammed together and extinguished most of the flame but also sent him plummeting faster towards the sidewalk, taking me with him. I burst through the sparks leftover from the flame and buried my claws into the soft skin of his stomach. I took a big chunk of skin between my long fingers and tore four thick lines across the muscle of his stomach. Blood spilled from his wounds and splashed onto my clothes. He coughed and more blood stained his lips. We were getting closer to the ground. Revenant’s eyes were fading to white.

“You’ll see me again, Ember - but for now, I’m gone.” He coughed. With that, he did his de rigueur disappearing act: flecks of his skin fell off his muscles within seconds, and then his muscles did the same until only his skeleton was left - which proceeded to dissipate into dust. Then I found I was only a few dozen feet from the ground. I desperately tried to flap my wings, but I caught a bad wind and starting flipping madly towards the ground. The last thing I saw before I closed my eyes was the sidewalk barreling towards me - inches from turning me into a pancake.

And then I was floating. Suspended in midair. I opened my eyes slowly. Surely I was dead. Everything around me was in black and white, but it was also inversed - the normally light gray sidewalk was the color of charcoal, the sky was dark as well and all the dark buildings were bright.

A girl crept inconspicuously towards me from the shadows. She was dressed in all white - or probably black due to the inversed effect, or maybe it was actually white because I noticed her hands were up, so I supposed she was the one doing this, thus she wasn’t affected maybe? Confused? Me too. I was given the answer soon. She brought her hands down to her side and I was promptly dropped from about five feet in the air. I was quick to stop from falling on my ass with a quick make-shift parachute of my wings. When I looked back up, everything returned to normal. Well, sort of. The inverse effect was no longer there, but about seventy percent of all the color had been drained for as far as my eyes could see - which, if I haven’t mentioned it, is more than five times as far as the average human can see and much sharper.

The girl - who was in all black (I knew it!) - took a few unhesitant steps towards me. She was beautiful. There was a look about her gaze that hid that she knew more than she let off to know through her body language. A tight fitting black shirt showed off all the curves of her body (From what I could see, most of her was covered by a thick, black, leather jacket that stretched to her ankles). Slightly baggy, black pants with all sorts of chains and spikes slung low on her hips and threatened to show off her private parts (not that I would mind that…) - the weight of all that metal probably made gravity happy. Even her hair - long, grown all the way past her waist - was black. Her hands were in the pockets of her jackets, but I guessed the nails were probably painted black as well. Two lip piercings protruded between her lips and curved menacingly around each side of her soft looking black (of course) lipstick covered lips giving her the appearance of a snake - they’re called snake bites after all. Even her eyes - completely white except for the diamond shaped pupil in the middle - gave off an air of poison.

When she was only a couple of feet away from me, she scanned my entire body with an analyzing stare. She seemed to note every tiny thing about me - she noticed the odd things (ex: wings, fangs, claws, etc.), but she also seemed to see beyond that: she took in every scar, the stories hidden behind my eyes, the hatred I had faced.

There was a strange sense of understanding I felt from her - at least until she promptly turned around without a word or any other noise and started walking off as inconspicuously as she had appeared.

“Hey!” I shouted after her. She turned around slowly until she was facing me again. “Thanks.” Was all I could think to say. Her only reaction was a slight upward nod of the head - like a greeting to someone you know, but don’t want to get close to or open your mouth to greet. When I saw that she was about to turn again, I found my mouth opening again.

“What’s your name?” I asked. I flinched as her eyes appeared six inches in front of my face and I found that she had teleported directly in front of me. She tilted her chin up so that she was looking down her nose at me and opened her eyes slightly so that I could see red lines attacking her pupil.

“Venom…” She hissed - very snake-like. I would have thought it was cat-like had I not have seen her eyes. It was then that I was glad she spoke, because I caught a glimpse of two massive fangs that resembled that of a rattlesnakes’. She held her lips open long enough for a drop - of venom probably - to fall from the tip of her left fang. It rolled down the side of the metal piercing and soared towards the ground. I heard a sizzle and when I looked down, a hole in the cement had appeared and smoke spilled from it. For the first time I was able to see her shoes - black combat boots, there were three spikes on the toe and a chain draped across the tongue. Although her show of power was meant to intimidate me - or possibly scare me, I wasn’t too impressed. Sure it was cool and obviously dangerous, but she had just saved my life - she probably wouldn’t kill me only a few minutes afterwards.

“Venom, huh? I’m Ember. Pleased to make your acquaintance.” I said in a deep voice, sticking out my hand as a greeting. She looked down at my hand, then back up at my eyes, then down again at my hand.

She hesitantly took my hand in hers and shook it. Her grip wasn’t particularly firm, but it was strong. It possibly reflected her powers - unstable, but devastatingly powerful. I looked her up and down again.

“So…are there more people like us - with powers I mean - in this city?” I asked. She took an analyzing stare into my eyes.

“Are you blind?” She asked, her eyes hypnotizing my gaze.

“I guess I don’t pay enough attention. The only ones I know of use it to harm other people. I haven’t met anyone else who uses their powers for good.” I answered. Her eyes narrowed at me. “How am I supposed to be sure that you’re a good guy - I mean - girl?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe the fact that I just saved a stranger’s life.” She rolled her eyes, which looked really strange since she had no irises.

“So, do you have a way I can contact you or anything?” I asked suddenly, not even realizing why. Maybe I felt I owed her a favor.

“Just say my name. I’ll find you.” She replied.

“I was talking, like, a phone number or something.” I suggested. Saying her name? That seemed an insane way to contact her. How would she be able to hear me?

“817-FUCK-YOU.” And with that, she promptly disappeared.

First impression - she seemed nice…

Well, tell me what you think. Again, if even just one person comments saying they like it, then I'll post the other chapters. So if you like it, don't be afraid to say as much. I'll post the rest.
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Old 17-02-2009, 02:11   #2
Cats_In_The_Hat Cats_In_The_Hat is offline
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Noone has commented on this yet, but I feel like posting the next part anyway. I like this section except for Venom's character development, which I might go back and edit. It's just too weak to me and didn't have the intended effect....Oh well, here we go....


1.1.2 The Beginning - Venom

Ember? She seems like she won’t betray me like everyone else in my life. Why was I so mean to her? I’ve got to show her that I’m not going to let anyone take advantage of me. Now, that last part - about the number, remember? - I wasn’t being a jerk. That’s my actual number: 817-3825-968, or, 817-FUCK-YOU. She’ll figure it out.

Now, there’s quite a background behind me, as you’ve probably already guessed, but you don’t honestly think I’m going to admit any of it right now? Why’d I save her? If she ended up dead, then it would be a lot of trouble cleaning up before someone big and important saw the mess and the story would end up on front page news. Then people would actually pay attention and might actually notice the way everything gets suddenly dull when I’m around. Why that happens still confuses me. It’s always been how I’ve seen the world - everything dull and lifeless. A deserted city street drained from newly fallen snow. Only in this case the streets aren’t deserted and I’m the snow. People seem to lose an interest in everything important to them when I’m near. Except for that girl Ember. There was something about her. A fire that refused to be extinguished. If she’s not careful, it’s going to consume her.

I’ve been able to read minds for as long as I can remember. I didn’t learn to control it until I was into my teens, though. So every thought from those people who have hurt me were as clear to me as though they were talking. You know how some people say that others don’t like to do what they do - that it’s to please something missing in themselves? It’s bullshit. Every one of them had thoughts of satisfaction. Ecstasy. No glimmer of remorse or even triumph. It was all about what was the now - not about filling in an ancient gap in their mind. Sure there was the revenge, but you don’t seek the bad. What people are missing are good feelings. Bad feelings aren’t missed.

The eyes? I don’t know about them. I remember that my vision started getting blurry and days later I realized that my irises were shrinking, then all that was left was my pupil which preceded to shrink into diamonds. Then it was like something awoke inside of me, yet I had always known I was different. I could render a full grown man helpless starting when I was eight. That may seem early, but it was years after I truly needed it. Yeah, you heard me. My childhood wasn’t all six-inch wide lollipop afternoons and two scoop ice cream evenings. I would think it’s like the hunt. And I don’t mean catching fish and cooking it. I’m talking savage man to beast fight. Bloodthirsty wolf versus worthless, gaunt, three days hungry, strength less man.

Yeah. That’s how it was on a good day.

But anyway, I had always had an inhuman strength and I had always assumed it was one of those phenomena that people always quibbled about. Sort of like those stories of women that are 120 pounds lifting a two ton car in an attempt to save their trapped children. Sort of like that. Except that the only thing I was protecting was myself. To this day, I’ve never cared about another person. Yeah, I’ve saved people from certain death. Call me a feminist, but I’ve only saved women thus far. You can probably guess that I have a fairly natural (and proven) distrust towards men. But anyway - I have saved peoples lives, but never for their own good. There’s always an underlying motive that fuels me behind it. Back to that filling that childhood gap I was talking about. I feel good when I see myself saving people going through what I’ve been through instead of letting it happen. Quite a few diabolical minds have been broken by my hands.

Now about the girl. Ember. That fire. I’ve seen it before. It was in him, before he…Never mind. Then I felt that closing in my throat and the bridge of my nose began to burn and I found that it was happening again. Tears slipped down my cheeks. White-hot tears that burned more than the first time I felt the effects of poison. It had been nine months since the last time I cried. I hardly ever knew what really brought it on and it came without warning. Like the hate and pain I’ve witnessed. I don’t know where it all comes from and under its influence, everything happens fast.

And that’s when the phone rang.


1.2 The Incident - Ember

So I figured out the truth behind Venom’s trick. 817-FUCK-YOU.

I was just lying on my bed with the phone on my chest, thinking about all that had just happened. I turned the phone up to look at the buttons and then it dawned on me what she had been talking about. I carefully dialed the number and it picked up after the third ring.

“Hello?” Came Venom’s hiss from the other end of the phone.

“Venom?” I asked.

“Yes?” I must have jumped ten feet in the air because the voice no longer came from the phone, but from right next to me on the bed. I scrambled to my feet and looked down at her. She looked like she had been laying there for an hour - all hands behind her head and crossed legs. The nonchalant manner in how she did it got me the most though. Since I witnessed her teleportation once before, it didn’t render me speechless or dubious like it would most people.

“You really gotta stop doing that.” I sighed, pointing in her direction. Her lips curled up in a devious smirk and I suddenly felt a twinge in my stomach, but I suppressed it quickly. She sat up and looked me square in the eye. God, she was beautiful. But in a mystifying way. Most people would be repelled by her appearance, but I was drawn to her.

“You really think I’m beautiful?” She asked shyly. My eyes were probably bulging insanely.

“How did you-?” Then I realized it. She reads minds.

“Took you long enough.” She sighed, rolling her eyes. “Believe me - if you knew anything about me, I’d be the farthest thing from beautiful.” She gave me a sheltered gaze.

“You’re not the only one who’s been through a lot.” I admitted. My mind wandered back to the past, flashes of his face contorted in agony playing themselves behind my eyes, and then I realized I made the mistake of thinking about it when I saw another smirk stretch Venom’s black painted lips, exposing her fangs again. I heard a hiss rumble in her throat and she chuckled.

“Who knew you were such a wildcat?” She laughed. No! Now she knew the one thing I vowed to never tell anyone. About her and him. What I did to him. “Mmm. Wow - you’re insane. That’s just - horrifying.”

“Yeah, don’t remind me…” I mumbled.

“Amazing. Who knew a human was capable of that?” She asked.

“If you haven’t noticed, I’m not exactly human.” I growled, showing off my fangs. She let out a low hiss in response.

“So. What did you want to talk to me for?” She asked, quickly changing subjects. I shrugged - I honestly didn’t know myself - I was just seeing if that was really her number.

“Oh, well if that’s all, then I might as well get going.” She said, getting up.

“You should really ask my permission before you do that.” I informed her.

She brushed the front of her pants with her hands and looked at me again. “Now, what did you really want? And tell the truth, because I’m not in the mood to search for the answer again. Your mind is really wild, ya know it? You must have A.D.D. or something. Trying to pinpoint one of your thoughts is like trying to find a piece of hay in a needle stack.”

“I thought it was a needle in a haystack?”

“Not in your mind.” She gave a knowing grin.

“Figured as much…Wait, I thought mind readers are only able to hear someone’s current thoughts?” I asked. She gave a slight chuckle.

“Common misconception. It’s more like going to Google and typing a random phrase - it sometimes gives you what you’re looking for, but there’s a whole bunch of other crap you don’t need swimming around. The mind doesn’t take on one process at once.”

Yeah, no shit Sherlock. I thought.

“Hey, I heard that.” She growled.

“I know.” I shot back. “Anyway, I just kinda wanted to talk. Ya know, get acquainted.”

She looked hard and deep into my eyes for a second or two, and then stopped.

“Alright, where to?”

After I turned my appearance so that I was full human, I took Venom to one of my favorite restaurants. It wasn’t that well known and not many people were out at this hour, so the place was fairly empty save for a few scattered people asking the bartender to hit them (not literally, of course).

We took a table in a dark corner and ordered a couple drinks. The waiter came back, looking weary, and clunked the glasses on the table, then walked off. I looked across the room and saw a middle-aged couple cuddling, drunken with love; it made me think about my parents.

“You miss them, don’t you?” Venom’s voice echoed in my ear. I didn’t say anything. I didn’t have to. She knew the answer. “How long ago did it happen?” 5 years. “Do you know who killed them?” I clenched my jaw at the bluntness of the question. Yes. “Rethink that one. Did you know who killed them? Personally?” …Yes. “You couldn’t stop it, could you?” … “You weren’t strong enough to stop them. You didn’t even try to save them. You were too weak. You were afraid to die.” And at that I lost control.


Well, yeah...

Last edited by Cats_In_The_Hat; 17-02-2009 at 02:30.
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Old 24-11-2010, 14:03   #3
Winkie Winkie is offline
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Please continue, I like it.
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