|
Unofficial forum of group TATU | |||||||
|
|||||||
|
Thread Tools |
25-11-2003, 01:29 | #1 |
Участник
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: michigan usa
Age: 39
Posts: 191
|
Bliss (poem, rating: pg-15ish i think)
title: Bliss
type: poem rating: around pg-15ish i think [shrugs] disclaimer: this is mine and only mine. Bliss - 112403 Flushed cheeks. Moan. Shallow breathing. Whimper. Skin infused with heat. Groan. Searching fingers. Gasp. Grinding hips - steady rhythm. Moan. Whimper. Groan. Gasp. Clenching muscles. Scream. Exquistite bliss - as the world explodes in brilliant white light. --fin. let me know what you think, eh? thanks. amikana |
Reply With Quote |
02-12-2003, 22:49 | #2 |
Участник
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: michigan usa
Age: 39
Posts: 191
|
hmm, well apparently i suck. lol. no more writing stuff like this, then.
|
Reply With Quote |
02-12-2003, 23:03 | #3 |
in my brain
|
Oh, I haven't read this one :P, I think it's good, although I'm not a good critic of poems, I like the description of 'that moment' with few words
|
~~~~~~~~~~~
pain and suffering in various tempos |
|
Reply With Quote |
02-12-2003, 23:41 | #4 |
think again....
|
it reminds me about this song "freak me" by another level...
here's some line... "let me lick u up and down, till u say stop, let me play with ur body baby make u real hot" seriously amikana.... its cute...hehehehehe |
~~~~~~~~~~~
mY SITE |
|
Reply With Quote |
03-12-2003, 00:29 | #5 |
Участник
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: michigan usa
Age: 39
Posts: 191
|
lmao - thanks
|
Reply With Quote |
05-12-2003, 23:17 | #6 |
keep 'em guessing
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: guesswhere
Age: 37
Posts: 739
|
i dunno, i like this one.
to me, the fewer the words, the better the poem. and you have definately captured the moment. i like this. i really do. |
Reply With Quote |
Bookmarks |
|
|
Similar Threads | ||||
Thread | Thread Starter | Forum | Replies | Last Post |
My poem for t.A.T.u | halfalien | The Island of Arts | 4 | 28-01-2004 22:00 |
Poem: "Changed" | raven ryuu | The Island of Arts | 3 | 14-12-2003 14:55 |