Pretty New o.O

[ThatLady]

Okay everyone, this is like.... my first thread. I wanted to post a fanfic that I was working on. So be honest, please. ^__^ (btw, I haven't given it a title and I'm not good at spelling o.O)

The twilight settles gently on this worlds balance over night and day. Pushing back the purple-orange puddles in the sky, blanketing it with its dark blue quilt. The dark blotches in the sky disipates, and are finally overtaken.
Overhead, the lights flicker on as if anticipating the nights return. The train rocks back and forth to seemingly sooth its passangers to sleep. Droplets outside the outside the window ran across, having been shown only from the light's glow. They were so rythmic and chaotic. Lena smiled at the thought, dirorientedly systematic. Point one for the world.
Reality revealed the world that had been forgotten through shadows and light. The stains of an old, misused railway gave way to where the people would vacate it. People pass through here swiftly, easily, between stops; so fast sometimes their faces look blurred and time seems to fast-foward. Time here for Lena felt as if someone pressed pause. Pause was an understatement...
She sighed, hoping to see it hang in mid-air.

* * *
Early morning came shining with its brilliance in such cold weather. This year was warmer than normal, all the changes in the world outside of this one wouldn't change how amazingly dumbfounded this forgien teacher was. Ms. Dukeshire something-or-another was a teacher who taught class for English, but was so interested in Russia, she asked her students to write about a famous or inspriational Russian. Sukharov was in front of the class speaking about Leon Trotsky.
"Thousands filled the hall, waiting for Trotsky's speach. The crowd was tense..."
Lena sighed, this is so elementry! She sat impaitently for some sign, some reason, to be divert her attention. At the moment, she was waiting for the bell.
"Trotsky spoke of current conditions, and then continued. 'The Soviet government will give everything the country contains to the poor and to the men in the trenches...'"
Lena hoped that the world outside would possibly give way to something, anything, that could make time pass quicker. It felt uncomfortably dead. The room was at a complete dead stop, except for Ms. Dukeshire who was like a child on her first day of Christmas.
"The crowd surroundingTrotsky was aroused almost to ecstasy. This, actually, was already an insurrection. A transformation had begun --"
The bell rang. The class rose as one giant mass and, just as disorderly, left.



Well, yeah, this is it. ^__^ I hope you like it.

[Obie]

GReat,,, how can you find so much deep meaningful things in such common actions? ,,, nice for you,, ,,,

[ThatLady]

Well, thank you ^__^ its kinda hard to sit and write but once i have the opportunity it just flows out of me o.O
People have told me I have a florecent (?) way of talking, but thus far friends enjoy my writing. Saying something like... The way I write things are.... poetic? o.O Yeah, well, thank you for liking it and I hope to post more ^__^

[Obie]

have you heard Darren Hayes' song "I don't care",, there's a line where he says,,,,,
People tell me that I need so much, but I don't care, People tell me that I feel so much, but I don't care, as I ride this train"..... when someon tells you something like that just think you're special

[ThatLady]

AH! I have something new for you. I wrote more... I just have to find it <.< and type it... this is such a hassle >.< But Its coming soon!!! ^__^--

[mad_for_lena]

i think is great, you have a true talent thatlady, the use of the words, and the discription is amazing, you have done really well!

[ThatLady]

Lol! I almost lost this paper for a moment, it was quite the rush! I hope you like this one as much. ^__^


Wave by wave, swerling together than disappearing. The smoke signaled uncharted territory, an unbecoming assurence. Floating gracefully across the air, the simplest motion could disrupt its wavering rhythms. As her eyes glided along each curb and swerl, Lena was overwhelmed. Reaching out to touch this wystified smoke, it broke apart revealing nothing but darkness. These shadows felt cold and unwelcomed.

* * *
Lena's eyes fluttered open. Picking up her head she wipped the sleep from her eyes. Soon the soft sound that awake her was now buzzing repeatedly. With lazy eyes and a headache to boot, she glanced by the buzz in her head. She found it wasn't in her head but the alarm telling her she was a half hour late.
Her pace quickened as she climbed out of bed and onto her feet. Lena ran, grabbed her clothes confused where her uniform could have been. In hectic panic, she tripped. Her panic turned into heated anger upon her tripper's general direction, then stopped... it was her uniform.
A crazed wherlwind of things left to do; grab the bookbag, brush the teeth, don't forget your shoes, kiss mom g'bye, remember to close the door!

* * *

Out of breath, Lena was satisfied to have made it to the trainstation with minutesto spare. All that there was left to do is wait for the train, get to school. With a sigh, she sat down peering at the end of the railway. Maybe her luck was changing. Lena closed her eyes for a second, feeling the intensity of her exhaust.

* * *

She opened her eyes again, noticing more pressence than an empty railway. The announcer's call finalized her fear, it was leaving.
Lena jumped off the bench and ran towards the open doors, in fear it'd close too soon. The4 last passanger walked in, desperate to make herslef the last.
"Wait! Hold the doors!" But it was too late. The doors closed in front of her. She glanced up through the taindoor's windows. She knew this person heard her!
She was looking up at a girl with defined features and light brunette hair. She was beautiful, and wearing what she thought to be her schools uniform. The girl was looking back at her, Lena felt almost embarassed.
The brunette grabbed her earlobes and stuck out her tongue, making a face. The train hissed and departed, sending her off...
What The Hell?!

[mad_for_lena]

you really know how to take someones breath away!

[ThatLady]

Originally Posted by Obezyanki

have you heard Darren Hayes' song "I don't care",, there's a line where he says,,,,,
People tell me that I need so much, but I don't care, People tell me that I feel so much, but I don't care, as I ride this train"..... when someon tells you something like that just think you're special

I hope its not too late to ask but... do you have a link for that song? If not I guess I could just download it o.O

[ThatLady]

I'm wrote a new page... I'm not quite sure its as good as the other two.... but I want you guys to read it o.O I have internet now, so it'll be up soon, 'kay? See ya later!

--Adri

[gluttony85]

Originally Posted by ThatLady

I hope its not too late to ask but... do you have a link for that song? If not I guess I could just download it o.O

Here you go, ThatLady

http://www.sendspace.com/file/1ty590

Name: 13 I Don't Care.mp3
Size: 4MB