Missing members and why they left - discussion

Kate · 14-12-2004, 10:46

Bitty2002, no one is keeping you here, forcing you to stay or whatever. You are free to go if you don't like this place.

Olga is right by saying: "Tatysite served its purpose once for you and many other people and it serves its purpose for new ones now."

zebu · 14-12-2004, 12:27

i wish all u ppl would come back cause this place sucks without u, now its just like sunny and bitty said, oneminded trash place.

Mossopp · 14-12-2004, 12:31

Quote:

Originally Posted by zebu

i wish all u ppl would come back cause this place sucks without u, now its just like sunny and bitty said, oneminded trash place.

That's harsh.

forre · 14-12-2004, 12:31

Quote:

Originally Posted by zebu

i wish all u ppl would come back cause this place sucks without u, now its just like sunny and bitty said, oneminded trash place.

Any facts available to support this claim of yours calling it one-minded and trash?

Mossopp · 14-12-2004, 12:33

I'd be interested to know whether it's the forum itself that's "trash" or if that insult was directed at the members.

Kate · 14-12-2004, 12:50

This is all so silly.

Can we just drop this stupid discussion and find a better use of our time, please?

Mossopp · 14-12-2004, 12:56

Gladly.

nath · 14-12-2004, 13:19

Quote:

Originally Posted by katbeidar

Bitty2002, no one is keeping you here, forcing you to stay or whatever. You are free to go if you don't like this place.

Always the same strategy Katbeider : propose to people or "help" them to leave the forum when they disagree with you instead of trying to see honestly if something is wrong and could be analyse in common...

Quote:

Originally Posted by forre

Even mature debates fail to change some people's opinion and if you are not pleased with the situation the general athmosphere of the forum can hardly be blamed for that failure.

This situation reminds me of a divorced couple where a one is trying to explain that he/she left the other one because the other one changed. Maybe people just grew apart and there's nothing to do about it? Tatysite served its purpose once for you and many other people and it serves its purpose for new ones now. Search for the reasons in yourself, always. That's what I tried to say.

Sorry to tell you that I disagree with you forre .
I know that you have used a lot of your strengh to keep a balance on this site. But all these posts weren't an "attack" against Tatysite...there were just a warning saying , don't you see that the atmosphere of tatysite has changed...may be in the bad direction...

All that I'd keep from this thread is that some persons prefer to keep the closed eyes instead of trying to find a solution together, instead of trying to analyse themselves....I think we were ready to analyse ourselves if we would have misunderstood something...just think the other part have prefered to reject the problem saying it doesn't exist.
I don't regret this thread...even if i knew from the beginning that , as in our society, the POWER will "win"....and you has the power, here?..

I'm not surprised but i'm in peace with my counsciouness.

QueenBee · 14-12-2004, 13:20

LOL. I don't know why, but I just feel like laughing right now. Seeing things from a different point of view, the "outside" kind of makes this whole debate funny. I don't know actually. I admire you guys for discussing so maturely (I'm not being sarcastic), but in the end... well.. all you can do in these situations is laugh, right?

So some people dislike what the forum has become. Well then LEAVE. Sheeeesh. No-one is forcing anyone to stay. If you really hate it here and don't want to be here, then you don't need to tell us how crappy we are.

In my personal opinion though, I've liked everyone here (more or less

) so for me it would definitely be fun to discuss like the old times, but that's not gonna happen of course!

Quote:

So, hi to everybody.
Except QueenBee, who thinks that mah smarts be smartassd.

Pfffff... I salute you anyway.

Smartass.

nath · 14-12-2004, 13:33

Quote:

Originally Posted by QueenBee

well.. 1/all you can do in these situations is laugh, right?
So some people dislike what the forum has become. 2/Well then LEAVE. Sheeeesh. No-one is forcing anyone to stay. If you really hate it here and don't want to be here, then you don't need to tell us how crappy we are.

1/You can laugh of course queenbee if you feel it ...as your only purpose seems to have fun here....no problem...
2/Thank you for the invitation....

Kate · 14-12-2004, 13:33

Quote:

Originally Posted by sunwalk

Always the same strategy Katbeider : propose to people or "help" them to leave the forum when they disagree with you instead of trying to see honestly if something is wrong and could be analyse in common...

I'm just saying that these discussions never lead anywhere (you should know that by now, it doesn't take being a rocket scientist to realise that), and Bitty seems to dislike TatySite.net. So why waste her time and ours?

Let's agree to disagree and go our seperate ways.

Queenie, I totally agree with you. This whole debate is really pathetic. A complete waste of time.

nath · 14-12-2004, 13:42

Quote:

Originally Posted by katbeidar

I'm just saying that these discussions never lead anywhere (you should know that by now, it doesn't take being a rocket scientist to realise that), and Bitty seems to dislike TatySite.net. So why waste her time and ours?

Let's agree to disagree and go our seperate ways.

Sorry katbeider , I hadn't the same education as you....I'm not born in a dictature which just arrived, when it got its freedom, to transform itself in a kingdom of the Mafia...so may be we don't have the same valors....
forre: An irrelevant and a narrow-minded remark. Kate wasn't brought up in the kingdom of Mafia to your greatest knowledge, thus the accusation is false.

Bitty doesn't dislike taysite, nor sunny poison, nor lux, nor me...we said that cause we like it very much.But may be , we have in common for exemple a kind of taste for respect , and democracy....and you are the living proof of anti-democracy....everyone has to shut up face to katbeider , even when she insults you...or she goes to cry and complain and everybody has big problems....
Everybody knows that ....when i've voted for you as contradictory member...it isn't because you treat tatu as sh*t in each one of your sentences,it's because of your personnality and all the bad you have made to other people who loved tatysite as much as you and had to leave it, just because they disagreed with you.

I agree it's a waste of time in the result....but for some persons , freedom of axpression has some valor which has no price.

Mossopp · 14-12-2004, 13:46

I think this is a pointless debate too.
The only thing we can agree on is that the forum has changed, for better or for worse. It's not gonna be changing back any time soon so either deal with it or leave. I don't think that suggesting that people who dislike it here should leave is a completely irrational idea. What is irrational is hanging around on a message board that you hate and getting into a big debate about why it sucks so much. The internet is a big place - if tatysite no longer feels like home to you then just surf on through and find somewhere that does!
Don't get me wrong, I'm as happy as anyone to see old members making a re-appearance, but not if it's going to result in a big "tatysite isn't what it used to be and its [insert someone's name here]'s fault!" argument every time they post.

Kate · 14-12-2004, 13:50

sunwalk, if you want to argue (or debate, whichever you prefer to call it), fine, whatever - there are people like Bitty for that.

I don't know you, and all that stuff that you've just said about me is not true cuz you don't know me. So think whatever you want. I don't give a sh1t.

Have a nice day.

nath · 14-12-2004, 13:52

What I said about you is true.
forre: 1. You can't possibly know. 2. Far from any truth.

Kate · 14-12-2004, 13:54

sunwalk, like I care what you think.

QueenBee · 14-12-2004, 14:00

Quote:

1/You can laugh of course queenbee if you feel it ...as your only purpose seems to have fun here....no problem...

Nathalie, it's not. I don't really *have* a purpose to stay here. I'm here because I like it, because I like the people, because I like how clean it is with no flooding and spamming and bumping threads and we have intelligent people who say intelligent things and debate maturely. Most of us share the same humor, and even if we don't, we accept eachother's differences. We have open-minded and respectful people, and maybe that is something we should thank Tatu for. They are the reason to why we're here in the first place, and a band (or as me and D call it, project

) with a message involving homosexuality isn't likely to attract homophobes. So people who were open for the band are obviously gonna be open for other gay people etc. so there was never much "Ew you're gay" things going around here, as there might have been in others.

I'm not comparing us to anyone else, because obviously all Tatu forums having people who are very accepting. But it's just one of the things that makes me appreciate this forum and its people. As for the negativity, I have noticed it too. People just seem to be more down these days. Maybe it's winter depression for those of us on the north side of the globe?

Kidding. No, some do seem more aggressive but we have to adjust to that. We can't continue living in the past and constantly reminding ourselves of the good old times. Instead of just being mad for what we have now and missing what we had then, we should create something new for us to enjoy.

Quote:

2/Thank you for the invitation....

*Sighs* I didn't mean it like that. I meant, people have been complaining about everything for some time now. If you don't like things here and continue blaming others, then goodbye to you if you really hate us that much and refuse to work together in order to make this forum a better place.... maybe?

^ This wasn't directed to anyone in particular, so don't come complaining to me about personal attacks...

luxxi · 14-12-2004, 14:21

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mossopp

I think this is a pointless debate too.
The only thing we can agree on is that the forum has changed, for better or for worse. It's not gonna be changing back any time soon so either deal with it or leave. I don't think that suggesting that people who dislike it here should leave is a completely irrational idea. What is irrational is hanging around on a message board that you hate and getting into a big debate about why it sucks so much. The internet is a big place - if tatysite no longer feels like home to you then just surf on through and find somewhere that does!
Don't get me wrong, I'm as happy as anyone to see old members making a re-appearance, but not if it's going to result in a big "tatysite isn't what it used to be and its [insert someone's name here]'s fault!" argument every time they post.

I have to disagree here. While I think people have right to "leave" (as if they can be forced to "stay"

) they have also every right to air their grievances. It's not as we are talking about some meber who signed one month ago and start trashing this place. That would be out of place. But we are talking about "old hands" here who were here, posted, and could see things happening to/with this forum. If they wish to complain I think it's fair we give them a chance to do so. Forum is it's members, after all.

As for "if you don't like it leave" attitude. It reminds me of "Our country, love it or leave it" attitude certain groups had during Vietnam War in US. It's funny how people who scream most how intolerant US is becoming (and majority of them aren't even Americans but that's another matter altogether) are quick to say "if you don't like it here leave". What happened to tolerance here?

So what is the plan, drive away people who disagree with you so in the end only people who totally agree with you are left? How tolerant is that? Not only intolerant but useless as well. I always enjoy visiting forums where people with different (and often opposite) opinions post. Be it music, history, or current world events. It shows me world in different light, it shows me that people are not mindless drones but people who are using their brains and in the end it makes me study matters more closely by looking for facts that support my POV. I seek diversity on net, not my mirror image.

Remember last year when freddie was kicked? How many of you protested? How many of you left? If people who kicked him would say "if you don't like it the way it is leave" how many would be left here? We all screamed censorship, dictatoship etc etc. Which is perfectly OK as forum is it's members. So why not treat people who disagree now (like sunwalk) same way as you wanted to be treated back then. Listen to what they have to say and see if their grievances are legitimate or not. And if they are think if you should change what they are complaining about.

QueenBee · 14-12-2004, 14:29

I understand what you're saying Luxxi and I agree to a certain point, but really, what is the point in coming back to a forum which you haven't been on in ages and complain how bad it is? It's easy to just sit back and blame everyone else... But as I said, I agree that this forum has CHANGED.

luxxi · 14-12-2004, 14:39

Quote:

Originally Posted by QueenBee

I understand what you're saying Luxxi and I agree to a certain point, but really, what is the point in coming back to a forum which you haven't been on in ages and complain how bad it is?

1. To see if it changed for the better.
2. To tell people why you left. Specially if there is a post asking why certain members left.

This is what I did on several forums. Things took a nose dive so I left. I still check back ocasionally to see how things are and if they changed for the better. If they do I start posting there. If not I stay away.

Quote:

Originally Posted by QueenBee

It's easy to just sit back and blame everyone else...

Well, what can members do if you don't like some things?
1. Say nothing and continue as usual.
2. Say things suck and ask that they be changed.
3. Leave because things suck and your pleas to be changed are ignored.

And who is blaiming who here? Some members said things aren't what they expected and they left becasue of it. When they said so they were attacked and they have every right to defend themselves.

Quote:

Originally Posted by QueenBee

But as I said, I agree that this forum has CHANGED.

It has. Some peopel didn't like what it changed into, though.