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Yuli or Lena: Whose Gung-Fu is better?


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Old 27-07-2003, 04:02   #1
Me Am Hulk Me Am Hulk is offline
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Lightbulb Yuli or Lena: Whose Gung-Fu is better?

YULIA: I am the greater mistress of the martial arts! I was trained in the Temple of the Shaolin since I was a toddler! I know the styles of all Five Deadly Venoms! The SNAKE! The LIZARD! The CENTIPEDE! The MANTIS! And the dreaded SCORPION!
(Yulia windmills her arms with blinding speed, motion trails tapering in their wake.)
I defy Lena - that russet-haired cretin - to engage me in one-on-one combat!

LENA: HAH! Yuli, you of the porcupine-quilled Duran Duran mullet! Your Shaolin Style pales before the might of my swordsmanship! I am tutored in the path of Zatoichi, the Blind Swordsman! I am skilled in the LONGSTAFF! The SHURIKEN! The BUTTERFLY BLADE! The WAR-FAN OF NIPPON! And the propeller-blade fury of the MAORI TAIAHA!
(Lena grabs a taiaha and decapitates five watermelons perched on wooden posts.)
I-HA-KAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

YULIA: My Shaolin training is superior to your feeble Japanese showboating!

LENA: My discipline of the mountain monks topples your Hollywood chop-socky!!

YULIA: Then have at you, you ginger whelp!

LENA: Prepare to meet Kali in HELL, porcupine pubes!

The two charge at one another.

YULIA: TET-SU-OOOOOOOO!!!
LENA: KA-NE-DAAAAAAAAA!!!!

(Who is the true mistress of the assassin's arts? YOU, dear reader, must decide!!!)
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Old 27-07-2003, 04:07   #2
Dent Dent is offline
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Tetsuo Kaneda? Isnґt that guy from Akira?

Cya

Dent
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Old 27-07-2003, 04:26   #3
Kappa Kappa is offline
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Dent, one is Tetsuo, the other is Kaneda. LOL.

Me Am Hulk, I go for Lena... swordsmanship FOREVAH, yo. :P
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Old 27-07-2003, 04:49   #4
Echoed Echoed is offline
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Oh, Lord. That was priceless to read. I can actually see it in my head.

Chinese movies, how reminiscent. I laugh. LOL.

And I have no idea who wins. ^_^'

~Echo.
~~~~~~~~~~~
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Tiredly leaving,
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Together dismay,
And raining sorrow.


Le noir, la gloire... On se demande bien.
Mais comm' je t'adore, lorsque je m'endors...
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Old 27-07-2003, 06:16   #5
rivierakid rivierakid is offline
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Oh, Lena would win by a long shot. I'm sorry, but swords just plain rock! (Especially certain redheads with swords... )
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Old 27-07-2003, 14:09   #6
parrish122 parrish122 is offline
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I vote Lena as well.

Porcupine-quilled Duran Duran mullet? <Snicker> I'll be giggling over *that* phrase for days!

Parrish
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Old 27-07-2003, 17:23   #7
EeZeReal EeZeReal is offline
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Quote:
you of the porcupine-quilled Duran Duran mullet!
LMmFAO@That.....

Sounds like a Wu Tang skit...

I'll try and not make my answer biased.... .... .... .... ........... errrm Yulia..
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Old 27-07-2003, 17:27   #8
skrtfntcwu skrtfntcwu is offline
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Being a fencer, it's pretty obvious that Lena wins (well, maybe it's becuase i think Lena is a Gosdess).

i mean seriously, like there was any chance!



-skrt
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Old 27-07-2003, 18:16   #9
QueenBee QueenBee is offline
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Lena.. she's bigger.
~~~~~~~~~~~
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Old 27-07-2003, 18:23   #10
Bitty2002 Bitty2002 is offline
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ROTFL, oh dear lord. That was hilarious, thank you so much for sharing. Hmmm...my vote is that they fight for two days straight, become increasingly tired and eventually fall into eachother's arms huffing and puffing and calling a truce. Which of course leads to making out. Yes this is my guess. lol.
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Old 28-07-2003, 01:07   #11
PuNKeR PuNKeR is offline
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I read an event which is(Tatu star Lena Katina needed treatment from doctors after a vicious catfight with bandmate Yulia Volkova left her with leg injuries.)
so my vote is go to Yulia.
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Old 28-07-2003, 02:34   #12
Disengage Disengage is offline
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YULIA

Are you people mad? Anyone possessing all 5 deadly venoms would be unstoppable. Somehow I think Yulia would be a master of the drunken, though. This movie should definitely happen.



Hey "HULK", my friend is indeed the real Hulk. I once saw him turn green and beat the s--- out of his dad in McDonald's because he got pickles on his burgers.
~~~~~~~~~~~
as sick as i am, i would never be you
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Old 28-07-2003, 02:52   #13
parrish122 parrish122 is offline
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*Laughs* I think I like Bitty's answer the best so far!

And I just had to share this...a girl came into where I work last night, and she had spiked hair. I thought about the "Porcupine-quilled" comment, and had to fight not to laugh.

Parrish
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Old 28-07-2003, 07:21   #14
karxwp karxwp is offline
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dangit I'm at crossroads....I'm a yuliafan but I'm a fan of swords...(as a matter of fact last week I bought a nice katana ) well....mmmm who cares! Yulia's better!
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Old 28-07-2003, 07:44   #15
Uhaku Uhaku is offline
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I vote Yulia. Simply cus one of her future hairstyles would match Bruce Lee's. And that's more than enough to decide who's going to win this match.
~~~~~~~~~~~
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the champion of my heart
I salute you!


I know it's not the correct order of the colors of the Russian flag, but I want Irina in blue anyway. Yeehaw!
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Old 28-07-2003, 07:48   #16
Kappa Kappa is offline
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uhaku, hadn't noticed that. Maybe she could be Bruce's OTHER daughter? *goes back to a ludicrous tabloid she read last week about Bruce leaving children all around*
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Old 28-07-2003, 16:31   #17
haku haku is offline
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That's the first time i smiled visiting that forum in a long time!

Well, i'm as biased as TvA so i vote Lena!

But i agree with Bitty2002, as soon as Lena will have Yulia in her power, this will turn into a heated make-out session! And more if the rating of the movie allows it! That way we'd really get to see who's the mistress!
~~~~~~~~~~~
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Last edited by haku; 28-07-2003 at 16:37.
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Old 28-07-2003, 19:44   #18
ihavetatusleeve ihavetatusleeve is offline
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LMAO, great story!

I could just picture this!!

My vote is for Lena, she sounds vicious with them swords.

This would be one righteous fight - someone make this into a movie!
~~~~~~~~~~~
Julia 2005: B**** better HAVE my sleeve!
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