Le change!

[Veggie Delite]

i watched a friend trying to stop drinking, so i've seen how hard it is. mossop, you're doing not great, but excellent! just keep your head up, and keep going
i tried to stop smoking a million times, but
i think this thread and you guys finally made me stop i am new, but i've been around (without posting) for a while now. this is such a friendly and positive place

*full of love, runs around and hugs everybody*

[guesshoo]

i'm glad to hear that darje and just to let you know, i'm proud of you!

*runs and hugs $in*
thats good to hear you gave it up, and i must say as well, it is trully a positve place!

[parrish122]

Holy Marboro man, Batman! It's been almost a week since I've smoked!

I *so* wanted one today...you just don't know. A customer was a total ass, and a co-worker I hadn't seen since I quit said, "You look ticked off. Here, have one of my cigarettes." And tosses me her pack.

I looked at them, sighed, and tossed them back. "I quit." I say.

"Yeah, right." She says and tosses them back.

I grit my teeth and throw them back at her kind of hard. Not that you can really hurt someone with a pack of cigarettes. "I said I quit!" I snapped.

She stared at me a moment, then said, "You are serious."

"Yep. I am." I said.

She laughed and said, "I give it a week." Then she left. Just as well, since I was thinking of cramming cigarettes down her throat until she choked to death.

Still not smoking though.

And Darje, Mossopp and $in...I'm so glad that you all are taking this on with me. This thread is helping me stick to it, so thanks to everyone encouraging us.

And Darje? Damn good idea you had here!

Parrish

[guesshoo]

tsk tsk tsk @ parrish's ex-co-wroker.
ppl like those who not only don't have any faith in you but put you down as well should be.....
well, lets not get into that.
but i can offer this advice
ignore the ignorant, it maybe hard to do, but in the end its worth it!

keep up the good work buddy.

[Mossopp]

I'll be honest:
I came really, really close to giving in today.
Don't worry, I'm still sober. I didn't cave to the temptation. Although I'm sitting here wondering why I didn't just get wrecked today.
Again, I couldn't sleep last night. At about 3am the idea that I was actually insane crept into my mind and I started to cry uncontrollably. I don't know why. Everything just stopped making sense. I guess that's sleep-deprivation for ya!
I went shopping this morning to give myself something to do. I bought a book with the intention of fully immersing myself in it for as long as possible. Unfortunetely I have the attention span of a goldfish. Another unfortunate turn of events was that my mother had done some shopping of her own this morning. She came into my room this afternoon while I was trying to read and put two 3 litre bottles of cider at my feet. She looked at me disdainfully and said "That's 7 quid you owe me", before leaving the room. I didn't ask her to buy the drink for me. I guess she's just so used to me sneaking my drink orders into her weekly shopping list that she just bought it out of habit. The bottles are now sitting by the door in my room. I think I can hear them laughing at me.
I got really angry again today. My father is in the process of waging a 'Sharon Osbourne' style war against our neighbours over who is to blame for the rats that have been spotted darting around on our road. I voiced my exhasperation and contempt for my neighbourhood for the millionth time and my mother responded with the same old "If you don't like it you can leave, it's your fault you've wasted your life, if you'd done the sensible thing and gone to university then you wouldn't still be here and we'd all be happy..." My mother can use her f#cked-up logic make the blame for any situation lie with me and my decision not to go to university.
HEY MUM! I SCREWED-UP. I KNOW. IT'S TOO LATE NOW SO GET OVER IT.
Anyway, I now have rats to worry about besides an insanely irrational mother and an idiot father. And then it struck me: what I'm doing - trying to give up drink - doesn't make the slightest bit of sense. I'm eliminating the one and only thing that makes me happy. My life situation SUCKS. What I'm doing right now is making it worse, not better. I used to be able to sleep - now I can't. I used to have something to look forward to at the end of the work-day - now I don't. I used to have something that would allow me to get away from the sh#t - now I don't. It just doesn't make sense.
I don't know what it is that's stopping me anymore. I think it's cos I'm just too damn confused to do anything!

[Veggie Delite]

alcohol CAN'T BE the only thing that makes you happy. you look differently on the world when u r drunk, all u saw till now was just a twisted picture. please, stick around just a little bit more in this crappy (sober) world, try to see it as it really is. u don't see now the good things, just the bad ones, cos your body is suffering. i know it's fu#ckin hard, but if u make it, u'll see it was worth of it. but it takes a lot of time...
u can always start drinkin' again, but first try the other way. hope u understood what i wanted to say

i wish u all the strength and love of this world

[taty994945]

parrish122, Mossopp, it sounds pretty hard atm but try to get through it. Then you can brag about your achievements later on. Mossopp, i've got an idea for you: drink coke or water but fantasize that you are drinking alcohol and getting smashed. Say to urself "woah im feeling so drunk atm". i dunno if this will work but u may wanna try it.

[Kappa]

Mossopp, it takes you about one week to go bananas out of sleep deprivation. SLEEP, dammit. :P

Your logics have no logic whatsoever as of now because of the changes your body is going through. You drank heavily and you're getting rid of the toxines. Think this: once sober, you can slap onto your mom's face that just as easily as you stopped drinking (just as easily as a manner of speach :P), you can get a job anywhere else and live on your own. That you have achieved one great thing in your life and you could go and do another one just like leaving her with no one to blame for her patheticness.

About me (I'm so sad: I'm speaking good things to Mossopp, and will rant about myself NOW): I am so close from asking weed from my brother you wouldn't even believe it. With her gone, keeping myself healthy has no sense. I just want to smoke it so for three hours I don't even remember her. There's only the vague hope that if I don't, it'll be a good point for me and I won't have smoked just for nothing.

My physical training is on hold because I had exams this weekend but I will be going back on Thursday, ergo, my legs are going to repent from all their sins. As a matter of fact, walking down the stairs (three flights down to the street), has been nothing short of impossible. But the pain keeps my world real as of now, assuring me I won't go get wasted or smoke weed just because.

[parrish122]

Are we all hitting a slump in our lives at the same time?

Well, I still have managed not to smoke, even though I would have loved to smoke until my lungs exploded.

No real reason. Just feeling angry and depressed. A lovely combo. <Sigh>

And Darje? Taking care of yourself *always* makes sense. Even if it doesn't feel like it right now. Even when you feel like saying, "The hell with it." and doing self-destructive things.

Remember that, so you can remind me of it when *I* need to hear it, ok?

And Mossopp? Hang in there. I truly believe you *will* be glad you've done this.

Parrish

[Lena410]

Mossop it's great that you are still hanging in there. When you have stopped drinking, then you'll have something to hold on to. When you achieved something that needs as much strength as this then there's nothing that can stop you!

darje I'm with parrish..keeping yourself healthy always makes sense.

parrish I hope you are going to manage stop smoking. I'm proud that you are trying.

[Mossopp]

I felt quite good today. I'm still tired and sore but I've beaten a personal best and that has lifted my spirits (no pun intended ). In the past 2 years, the longest I've stayed sober was 4 days. Granted, on 2 of those days I was so ill that I could barely consume anything without it ending up in my lap within a couple of minutes, and that condition was brought about by abnormally excessive - even for me! - alcohol consumption in the first instance. But 4 days is 4 days and I've beaten that so, even if I do flunk the full 2 weeks I'll still have made some progress.
Oh, who am I kidding? That's not progress at all!
Still, I did get through the weekend which was what I was most dreading so I suppose that is a small achievment.
I've noticed something rather alarming in the past 5 days - I can't remember anything! I thought my lacklustre powers of recall were due to the fact that I was always smashed. I'd wake up every morning with little or no recollection of anything I said or did after 8pm the previous evening. I thought this was down to the booze - and it probably was. But I still wake up in the morning and wonder what went on the previous day, even without a single drop of alcohol! I'm now left wondering if I've done some serious damage to my head (as if it wasn't screwed-up enough in the first place!). And if I've totally f#cked-up my brain........what the hell have I been doing to my insides for the past 24+ months??!! When I was drinking I didn't give a sh#t about what damage I was doing to my body but now I have to wise up and face existance I'm feeling slightly bugged-out about what I've been doing to myself. What bugs me out even more is that I know my current state of sobriety isn't permanent. I'm gonna slip sooner or later and I'm not as scared of slipping as I should be. Truth be told, I'm actually kinda looking forward to slipping cos once I slip I can get back to doing what I do best - not caring and living in denial. Oh, and sleeping.

[Lux]

everyone is doing a great job, documenting, and adhering to a healthier lifestyle.


the past weekend, i got the chance to go home with a friend, along with my other friend....and we spent one night of the weekend in this gigantic house that another friend of ours was dog sitting, and house sitting at. it had 3 floors, pool, jacuzzi, god knows how many rooms..etc


it was not an environment conducive to not drinking or smoking, both of which i did. another week starts, i'm going to try again.

[parrish122]

Ok, I *haven't* given up on this, I just haven't been able to get onto the forum.

Not a great past couple of days, but even though I did do some things that were stupid, I didn't start smoking again.

I'll do a better documenting job tomorrow.

Parrish

[Mossopp]

....or at least I think it's day 7. I've lost track of time. All I know is that the past week has dragged by so slowly that I don't even know where I am anymore.
There's nothing to say really. I'm losing my temper with this whole 'sobriety' deal - it's no fun and I'm sick of being conscious all the time. I'm having to actually think about all the things that bother me instead of just being able to drink them out of my head! My own thoughts are driving me f#cking crazy!
Nothing else to add.

[guesshoo]

mossopp sweetie, think this thing through, i know its getting harder but trust me, its in your best interest! in the end it is worth it b/c you live a much healthier lifestyle and defy the things your parents have said about you. however, if the problems continue, seeing a doctor would be your best bet. keep the hope

darje, resist the drugs, trust me its not worth it. prove yourself a champion and resist temptation.

so parrish, the same thing has been happening to you too huh? i haven't been able to come on this site from saturday, really nerve wrecking!

i wish the best of luck to all of you, and keep in mind, if no one else believes in you, guesshoo does!

[parrish122]

Still here, still not smoking.

About the only thing I've been doing right lately, it seems.

Or does it count when the only thing you've been doing right is *not* doing something? <Sigh>

Parrish

[Veggie Delite]

well, i am so proud on u people!!! and u mossop, if u stay sober, maybe u'll gain enough strength to deal with your problems. but u have been drinking for the past 2 yers give yourself a chance. if u continue drinking, in a few years everybody who knows u will just feel sorry for u... i've seen a lot of examples. u seem like such a nice person, i just don't want u to became an alcoholic!!!

*shakes mossop and then hugs*

ps. i'm still not smoking, and it's so great. just hang on everybody. we'll make it

[prostrel]

Mossopp, 7 days is a really good achievement! Just try to continue, please!
Mossopp, you said past week has dragged by slowly and your own thoughts are driving you crazy. I guess you don`t have any kind of hobby (than drinking)? Is there anything you are interested in, cos your have to get away from your house and get your mind busy with other thoughts than your current thoughts are. If you don`t have friends who can give variety to your spear time then you just have to do it by yourself. You need a change and you definitely need to meet some new people. If I only could be there... I certainly would drag you to a different places, get you to meet people and just do everything so you wouldn`t be bored.

[Mossopp]

Originally posted by prostrel
I guess you don`t have any kind of hobby (than drinking)? Is there anything you are interested in, cos your have to get away from your house and get your mind busy with other thoughts than your current thoughts are. If you don`t have friends who can give variety to your spear time then you just have to do it by yourself. You need a change and you definitely need to meet some new people.

No, I don't have any hobbies other than drinking. I play music but I'm not in a band because I live in the middle of goddam nowhere and it would be impossible for me to get to rehearsals. That's the same reason I never see any of my 'friends' (not that I have many of them) - cos I'm so far away from civilisation. I can't get out to meet new people, it really is an impossibility.
If I had the money I'd be outta this sh#tty little village like a shot, but my suckass job pays me peanuts! And I can't get a high-paying job cos all the best jobs are in the city and I live too far away. It's Catch 22 I'm afraid.

[prostrel]

Originally posted by Mossopp
No, I don't have any hobbies other than drinking. I play music but I'm not in a band because I live in the middle of goddam nowhere and it would be impossible for me to get to rehearsals.

Now I remember, you play guitar, right? Great! Well, it`s hard to believe that you live at so small village that there are no other persons who could have interest in music and playing. Maybe it`s impossible or at least difficult to put up a band but does it have to be a band, could it be just a one person or 2 to whom play with? Or maybe you could give lessons to a some kid who wants to lean how to play guitar or something like that. Just a thought. Mossopp, your got brains, I have seen it when I have read your posts (not just this thread), use your brains, now your have a great opportunity to do that cos you are sober.