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Bliss (poem, rating: pg-15ish i think)


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Old 25-11-2003, 01:29   #1
amikana amikana is offline
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Bliss (poem, rating: pg-15ish i think)

title: Bliss
type: poem
rating: around pg-15ish i think [shrugs]
disclaimer: this is mine and only mine.

Bliss - 112403

Flushed cheeks.
Moan.
Shallow breathing.
Whimper.
Skin infused with heat.
Groan.
Searching fingers.
Gasp.
Grinding hips - steady rhythm.
Moan.
Whimper.
Groan.
Gasp.

Clenching muscles.
Scream.
Exquistite bliss -
as the world explodes in brilliant white light.

--fin.

let me know what you think, eh? thanks.

amikana
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Old 02-12-2003, 22:49   #2
amikana amikana is offline
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hmm, well apparently i suck. lol. no more writing stuff like this, then.
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Old 02-12-2003, 23:03   #3
XSpex XSpex is offline
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Oh, I haven't read this one :P, I think it's good, although I'm not a good critic of poems, I like the description of 'that moment' with few words
~~~~~~~~~~~
pain and suffering in various tempos
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Old 02-12-2003, 23:41   #4
warx warx is offline
think again....
 
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it reminds me about this song "freak me" by another level...

here's some line...
"let me lick u up and down, till u say stop, let me play with ur body baby make u real hot"

seriously amikana....
its cute...hehehehehe
~~~~~~~~~~~
mY SITE
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Old 03-12-2003, 00:29   #5
amikana amikana is offline
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lmao - thanks
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Old 05-12-2003, 23:17   #6
guesshoo guesshoo is offline
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i dunno, i like this one.
to me, the fewer the words, the better the poem.
and you have definately captured the moment.

i like this.
i really do.
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