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Idea for a story

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Old 28-07-2009, 15:36   #1
la_fee_verte la_fee_verte is offline
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Idea for a story

Hi everyone,

I wanted to share and get some feedback on a story idea I have had for a while. I should let you know now It's not tatu related, but please read on! It is inspired by all those old epic movies, science fiction and Holst's The Planets.

It starts on Mars (The Bringer of War) with a dangerous terrorist group seizing control of the planet at a time when crucial negotiations are taking place. Because of the importance of these negotiations it is vital that the people involved are rescued from the planet. Enter Apollo (good name for a hero??) who is a war hero, yet very young still. He has saved the solar system from alien threats countless times and therefore it is he who is called on to rescue the negotiating party, especially the all important and mysterious Ambassador. His men infiltrate the palace and meet the negotiating party. The Ambassador is reveled to be Andromeda (I know, the A names, but I can't think of anything more celestial atm...) a woman/girl from his past who is also young and excelled in her career of choice. The two appear to have a past yet we do not know what. They act cold to each other. Apollo and his men manage to navigate the negotiating party out of the city and to the ships. Their ships are shot by the new powers on Mars and as a result they are forced to land on Venus (Earth is uninhabitable and a desolate rock).

Once on Venus (The Bringer of Peace) it is revealed through discussion and flashbacks that Apollo and Andromeda were each other's first love. They met together on Venus whilst on vacation from the stress of their jobs and training. They both fell deeply in love and spent months together, evading authorities sent to bring them both back to 'the real world'. Apollo continuously proposed to Andromeda and always she turned him down, always giving vague reasons about her family. One day she received a letter from an unknown person. Andromeda becomes rational and explains that she and Apollo cannot keep running from their lives. They are very different people and they both have responsibility. She has to grow up and she suggests he do the same. She leaves him, heartbroken, in the cover of night. He never saw her again, until Mars, several years later. In the present, he confronts her about why she left, what was in that letter. She informs him that it is also uncomfortable for her to be on Venus and that she was also heartbroken when she left him. Again he asks why she left. She replies, Responsibility, to her family and to the people who relied on her.

She asks him if he regrets spending the time with her that he had. He replies no, he asks her the same question. She replies no, he made her the person that she is today. He warmed her icy, detached heart. He made her care. Silence. She breaks the silence, informing him that she kept loving him after she left, that she still loves him, the memories and the stories that she hears. The two meet in a passionate embrace, which they both agree for the sake of their careers should be left on Venus, where the rest of their relationship will be left.

From here they move onto Mercury (The Winged Messenger) to relay messages back to Jupiter, the centre of the solar system's operations. With intelligence pointing to the infidels on Mars creating war machines big enough to take control of the solar system, the military and political bodies share information and brainstorm ways to bring them down. Andromeda suggests visiting the magicians of Uranus since the Martians cannot be negotiated with, and the Solar System does not have the military numbers to fight the enemy. The military men quaff at her suggestion, but she simply says that the old magic should not be underestimated, some are still bound to it, referencing the Royal Family of Jupiter.

From here they have to return back to Jupiter (The Bringer of Jollity). It is announced that on their arrival a grand party will be held by the Emperor and Empress in Apollo's honour. He asks Andromeda if she will be there. She replies In one way or another. The festivities commence and Apollo cannot find Andromeda. As the Royal Family descend, it is revealed that Andromeda is actually the Princess of Jupiter, first born to the Emperor and Empress. Apollo is a mixture of emotion. He feels betrayed, angered, and disgusted in himself.

This is all I can write tonight, please let me know if you want to know more/have any suggestions and if you enjoy reading the short (or not so short) beginning...
Another tear fell from her eyes.
Her eyes.
Stained red from her weeping, they looked so intense, so electric, so sad, so beautiful.
They always looked sad, but there was something about them tonight.
He could stare into them all night.
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Old 29-07-2009, 05:43   #2
Talyubittu Talyubittu is offline
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