OK, here goes...
I woke up this morning at 6.30am with my mouth as dry as the Sahara and a pain in my head like someone was trying to bore through my skull with a blunt drill. And there was me thinking that celebrating my last night before starting this little experiment with a cider and vodka binge was a good idea.
I decided to completely wipe the slate clean so I poured what was left in last nights half-empty bottles down the sink. I also gathered up all the empties that I had stuffed under my bed and in the various nooks and crannies in my wardrobe where my mother wouldn’t discover them – I took ‘em all to the recycle bin before I went to work.
I felt like sh#t practically all day today – I only started to feel human at around 4pm – so I wasn’t actually as petrified of staying lucid as I thought I’d be on the first day. However, I arrived home from work to discover that my father is sh#t-faced drunk and for the first time in my life I actually found myself envious of the old b#stard!
Normally at this time of the evening I’d be pretty gone so it’s kind of strange to be coherent right now. I think I’d almost forgotten what it’s like after 8pm! I don’t have any great plans as to how I’m gonna survive the next 14 days. All I know is I want to make it and as long as I can remind myself of the downside of my habit and not the hazy, fond memories of it then I think I have a chance. I’ve got to look at what it is that makes me drink and avoid getting into the kind of emotional state where I’m left wishing I was out of my face and in some other dimension. I guess this means avoiding my so-called friends, avoiding my parents (not easy, considering I live with them!) and just keeping my mind occupied at all times. I guess I’m also gonna have to cancel that trip to the pub with Sarah that we’d planned for this weekend.
Thanks for giving me a bit of a loophole
darje, but if I’m gonna do this then I’m gonna have to quit completely. I’m not able to just have one drink and not get drunk. If I have one then I’ve got to have another and another and I won’t stop until I can’t even see my hand in front of my face. That’s how the whole problem started - I can’t resist the first drink and it’s just downhill from then on.
Anyway, that’s Day 1 as good as over. I’m gonna get it over even quicker by going to bed earlier than I usually do. I just hope I’m able to sleep.