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1.
I used to be a quiet little girl. No one ever taught me the difference between good and evil, between right and wrong. My life was not to be called simple, but it wasn't that hard on me either. My folks made sure I always had food, and clothes and stuff. Not the most populair ones, but I didn't care. Even back then, I never cared.
School was boring, so I hardly ever spent time there. Most of the time, I was out on the streets, hunting after things I did not understand back then.
My blond hair was always in two tails, one on each side of my head.
Looking back on it, I think my life was easy back then. There were no confusing feelings, no games to play with rules I didn't understand.
But things changed completely. When I was 15, I quit school completely. My mother had been diagnosed with cancer, and I decided to look after her. The government did not allow my dad to quit his job, because they would not give us any money.
So I quit, and during the day, I took care of my mother. After dinner, when my father was home, I went outside to smoke, sometimes drink, and I often met with some boys from the neighbourhood. I did not care about what they did to me. When they tried to kiss me, I would let them. It was nice, but not thrilling. Nothing exited me completely. When they tried to go further, I denied. They accepted that, they accepted me.
My life was not easy, but it was okay. I could see where things were headed. My mother was sick, I quit school, my dad worked all the time, and I had no kind of future at all. Very clear. It didn't worry me. As long as I was a kid, my parents would take care of me. After that, there was a time for worries. But not yet. Not yet.
After all, nobody could have known what would happen to me in less than a few years time.. Nobody could have prevented it. Nobody ever saw it coming. And me? I closed my eyes on every sign. Maybe I could have prevented it. Maybe I was just too lazy. Maybe I just didn't care. Maybe..
Offtop:
Feedback would be appreciated.
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