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I watch you as you fall asleep. Your hair is wet with sweat, sticking to your face, and your breathing is even. I smile at you, and I watch you smile in your sleep. I wonder. Could you be dreaming of me? But no, I realise. Those days are forever gone. Those nights will never come back. I smile, and somehow I manage not to cry as I watch you cuddle up to him.
You will never know. You will never know just how much I love and need you right now. Right here. I want to feel your arms and I want to feel your breath on my ear. I want to hear loving, soothing words, nonsense being mumbled into my ear. It will start tonight, I just know. I don't know what "it" might be, but I know "it" will start tonight. Maybe you'll come back to me, maybe I'll move on.
I wonder just how long love can last. Did you ever believe in me? In us? Don't you know I know what you said about me? Don't you know I know I meant nothing to you? And still, I love you. I'm so stupid and I hate myself for loving you, but I still do. You do something to me and I can't explain it. And I just wish you'd see what's right in front of you, always, waiting.
Once upon I was falling in love, but now I'm only falling apart
And I just hate myself for loving you. And I hate you for being you. And I hate myself for hating you for being you.
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