The long version that I've "preferred," ha ha, are you kidding, it's just the only way I knew how to say it
"V etom klipe Lena proxodit vremya v kafe, p'et vodu i zhdet svoyu podrugu, a Yulya poka v bane zanimaetsia masturbacii..." something like that
I'm guessing it's not so popular either, probably mostly written, plus another problem is that it can easily sound like you do it all the time (rather than are just doing it now) if you're not careful
And yeah, "masturbaiu" does sound like it could a Russian word, but it's not - "masturbiruiu" instead.
Bulgarian has a common conj. (ovat) too? Great, close again. You know, I can read magazine articles (at least articles from some magazines) in Bulgarian with comprehension of maybe 70-75%. Reading reeeeaaally slowly, but still...not too bad
It helps (and is more fun) when there are pictures, though