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[This is a short on compared to the other chapters.]
Chapter 8
Lena was crying when she was unpacking her thing on the scrungy motel bed. She thought about how Yulia was going to get when she finds her gone. Even though she acted oblivious to Yulia’s behavior, she knew that the brunette was getting too attached. She knew that somewhere inside that she was breaking, believing in love again.
But she cried harder at the fact that she didn’t. Each and every dreams, and the fact that Kozlov and Ivanova was back didn’t help her stand up high as she hoped. If she could block everything out as Yulia did when she first came, it would be easier.
Yes, Volkova was right, love *is* just a fairy tale. Only obesseity and attachment. Hormones. All hormones. But the tears did not cease. But she knew it was only for that day. By tomorrow, she will be the new stony face, whatever she may be feeling.
That was a comforting thought, that no matter her rapists would do she wouldn’t give them the pleasure of her emotions.
Her thoughts drifted back to Yulia. How she kissed her. How she held her. How she breathed in her scent. How worried she got when she got the news that Yulia had luekemia. Yulia’s black spiky hair, her blue intense eyes, her lips when it quivered in curiousness. And how Lena thought that she would be the savior or some kind of angel to save Yulia from all the dark.
Lena smirked as she threw the last remaining clothes on to the pile on the bed.
‘You’re a real angel, Lena.’ A voice in her head snapped, making the red head break down on her knees and cry in her hands.
*****
3 years later…
Doctor Hagen helped Yulia off the examining bed and scratched his head. He looked at her longingly, holding a clipboard of several different coloured papers.
“Please Yulia. I know you don’t want to take the operation but please rethink this through. And even if you agree, we have to find the doner first so it’ll take a while for you to actually take the operation. Please Yulia. If you keep going on like this you’ll die.” Hagen implored.
Yulia glanced at the doctor briefly before shrugging on her coat. She sighed as she snatched the clipboard from him and taking the pen from the deswk she swiftly signed her name. A broad smile broke on Hagen’s face.
“I’m only dying when she comes to see it.” She said in her monotone voice. And Hagen knew exactly who she was talking about.
“Well I’m late for my shrink’s appointment. My old one got fired because he tried to seduce me. Hope the new ones better.” Yulia barely talked above the whisper volume, but Hagen was used to this.
“Knock ‘em dead, girl.” He said richly. At that Yulia threw a small smile, so small you could’ve missed it if you blinked. But Hagen got it. And he was happy. He knew how hard it was for Yulia to show emotions here and there like that. But she was improving.
“You smiled!” He exclaimed. But Yulia just waved him off and slowly walked out of his office. But Hagen continued. “I’m gonna hold you to that, Volkova!”
*****
It was near christmas so the streets were filled with jolly and merry people. She hated Christmas. Holidays like that always drew crowds in the tiniest nooks and crannies, so she didn’t have time to be alone.
She slipped in a lone coffee shop that looked quite inconspicuous. It was quiet in there, no crowds. She sighed and plopped into a seat. Her shrink would have to wait. The coffee shop had a clear window at the front of the shop. It showed everyone that walked past, what they were doing and what they looked like. They looked so happy.
She closed her eyes and sighed. She was getting tired too easily now. It was annoying. As she almost fell into a light cat nap, her sixth sense told her to open her eyes and look the fuck out the window. She grimaced and reluctantly opened her eyes, letting her sight focus outside.
She froze. She blinked. She rubbed her eyes and looked again.
Everything seemed to be in slow motion, as those firey red curls marched past the coffee shop. She watched in awe as the red head stopped to stoop down to her left shoe to tie her loose shoe lace.
Volkova tilted her head with widened eyes as she looked at the girl in wonder. Was it really her? Was it really her Lena?
Those rosy cheeks and those green grey eyes… It *was* her. But the red head slowly marched out of her sight, passing the coffee shop completely. Volkova stood up immediately, and blurred out of the coffee shop, pursueing the red curls.
The way thousands of people on the same street tried to squirm past disgusetd her and angered her. She needed to find Lena. She couldn’t lose her now.
She saw those red curls pass the street to the other side, and Volkova followed at a distance. She quietly followed Lena, not caring where she ended up.
Then she saw her and herself walking into a building she vaguely recognized. She stopped herself as she looked around the building. It was her shrink’s office and where other shrinks resided. She frowned.
The hell with her appointment.
She silently trudged out of the building and casually sat on the steps leading to the entrance of the building. She hastily took out a pack from her back pocket and shook out a cigarette. She searched for her lighter and lit her cigarette.
She inhaled deeply and captured the sweet smoke in her lungs. She softly exhaled, breathing the smokes out.
She stayed like that on the steps for quite a while. A hour? Maybe two. Her cigarette pack was getting to be empty.
‘What are you waiting for, Volkova?’ The small voice in her head chirped. Volkova sighed as she took a deep drag on her god knows how many she had smoked.
‘The inevitable.’ She replied back to her voice.
‘And what would that be?’ The voice chirped back.
‘You’ll see.’ She said, cutting the conversation short. Talking to herself like that creeped her out anyways.
But as she took out the last cigarette from the pack and lighting it up, she heard those familiar footsteps behind her. Those footsteps told her that whomever was walking towards her was a little unsure. She frowned.
What the hell.
She got up and turned to look.
…What the hell.
Lena was standing there with utter shock on her face. Her hands on her sides were clenched into a tight fist. Her eyes were welling up. Well tough, Volkova’s eyes wasn’t.
Volkova smirked and climbed the steps one by one. When the brunette got close enough, she flicked away her last cigarette out on the streets and looked up at the red head.
Slap.
Lena’s head was turned to the side, with her holding her cheek. Volkova was shaking. She had slapped Lena.
“Bitch…” Volkova murmured before turning out to the streets and heading for the precinct.
As she walked to her destination, she ordered for her voice to come back. The voice chirped again.
‘Was *that* the inevitable?’ It asked. Volkova sighed.
‘Yes.’ She replied.
[Volkova....mm....yummy...]
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