[vicky7]

Chapter 8 cont.

Lena obviously didn’t have time for Yulia so the best thing for her to do was simply pack up and leave; Lena and Roman deserved each other as far as she was concerned.

Yulia made herself a cup of tea and sat down to ponder her next move. She didn’t want to sleep out on the streets and so she was going to need help. She knew that there was a hostel in town that if you arrived before a certain time you could get a bed for the night. They also apparently had councillors who could help you get long-term housing and jobs – she hoped that the rumours were true.

When she had made her decision to try her luck at the hostel Yulia jumped into the shower for what would probably be the last time for a while. She knew how notoriously difficult it was to remain clean when you were homeless, you could barely even manage to feed yourself. She looked around the guest room before making up the bed and deciphering what she could take with her.

She looked at all the gifts Lena had bought for her just a few days ago as belated birthday presents. Knowing that Lena’s feelings towards her weren’t as she had thought the meaning she had attached to them was voided. She didn’t want to take any of them but seeing as she no longer had the clothes she had worn out on the streets she had no choice so she packed a small bag with a few items of clothing in, a toothbrush and some toothpaste. She looked around the room again once more before shutting the door for the last time on what had been her safe haven for the past few weeks.

Going out into the living room she memorised the surroundings and the happy times she had spent in the apartment with Lena. Yulia decided that despite the disappointment she felt about her time at Lena’s coming to such an acrimonious end she wanted at least to show Lena that she had appreciated everything she had done for her. It wasn’t much but Yulia decided to cook one last meal for Lena as a token gesture. She made her a batch of spaghetti bolognaise as she knew how much she liked spaghetti and she had loved the batch that Yulia had made just the previous week.

Once she had finished cooking for Lena she made herself a small lunch. Although she knew it would be the last decent meal she would have for the foreseeable future she found it difficult to eat as her stomach was in knots at having to leave the comfort and safety of Lena’s apartment to wander once again into the unknown. She thought she had left all that uncertainty behind once and for all, how wrong she had been; she was about to find out. But first she had to write a letter to Lena explaining why she had left and she didn’t know where to start.

As she was writing tears coursed down her cheeks and her neck forming small pools on the letter, slightly blotching the ink. By the time she had finished she felt completely drained of all emotion having poured her heart out on the paper before her. She had told Lena all she had wanted her to know, how she felt, exactly why she had left, no pretending. Even though she hadn’t had the guts to tell Lena herself it was better than lying to her face that she wanted to leave when in fact she would have killed to be able to stay. It didn’t matter though because Lena was now just another face from her past, one that she was unlikely to revisit.

***

When Lena arrived home she had the feeling that something was drastically wrong. The apartment was too quiet, Yulia no matter what she was doing was never quiet you could always feel her presence because she had so much vigour. So where was she? Lena checked every room in the apartment and there was no sight or sound of her. It was really strange.

Upon closer inspection she saw that there was a batch of spaghetti in the kitchen ready for dinner, alongside it was a letter. Lena started to read it a huge lump forming in her throat as she read and her eyes glistening with tears. Yulia had tried to talk to her that morning and she hadn’t realised how serious the situation was at the time. Without realising it she had inadvertantly pushed Yulia out the door. It sickened her to her stomach.

The letter read:

Dear Lena,

By now you will know that I am no longer at the apartment. I have decided it is best for everyone that I leave and go to a hostel. I really appreciate everything you have done for me and although you told me lots of times that you are happy for me to stay as long as I want I know that it is not what you really wanted. I heard you telling Roman last night that you wanted me to go and that’s why I have left. I don’t blame you for wanting me to go after all I am a virtual stranger to you, I only wished you have been honest about the way you felt. Again thank you ever so much for what you have done for me, it has been wonderful staying here.

Lots of love

Yulia x

P.S – Enjoy the spaghetti, I know it’s your favourite.

The last line made Lena break down and sob, Yulia unlike the majority of the people around her actually cared about her and now she was gone and it was all her own fault. It struck her that Yulia heard her telling Roman that Yulia would be gone in a few days, she must have thought that Lena had stabbed her in the back. Poor Yul. If only she had known why Lena had said that, that she had decided to reply that way so that she didn’t alert Roman to the fact that she had brought Yulia in off the streets. He would probably have made Yulia’s life a living hell and she hadn’t been prepared to do that, to let another person judge Yulia because circumstances had dictated that she ended up homeless.

Although she had only known Yulia for a few weeks they had a strong bond, she was probably the best friend Lena had ever had. Lena struggled to believe that Yulia had heard what she had said because she had been so certain that no one could hear anything outside those bedroom walls. Yulia must have heard everything, including them having sex. Knowing that made Lena feel worse because if she had been in Yulia’s position she would have felt isolated and incredibly uncomfortable and that was the last thing she would ever want to do to her little friend. No wonder Yulia had looked so tired and pale that morning she was obviously really upset because she thought Lena didn’t care were in this case the exact opposite was true. God she had messed up again, why did she always manage to drive everyone she cared about away?

As Lena re-read the letter she saw that it said that Yulia was going to a hostel. The only one Lena knew of in town was only a ten-minute drive away. She would find her and bring her back and explain because the only time this apartment had felt like home since she had been there was when Yulia was with her, she needed to bring her friend back home.

***

It took Yulia an hour to walk to the hostel and even longer for her to get a bed as they asked her several awkward and humiliating questions about where she had been living and about her sexual history and activities. This had shocked her. However, once she was within the confines of the hostel and was allocated a bed she had realised why they had probed so much. Yulia was surrounded by all the lowest of the lowlifes you could ever imagine, all in one large dormitory. She put her bag down by the side of the old, saggy and soiled bed that belongs to her for the night then took a moment to look around. Most of the ‘people’ looked deranged and totally out of it, all wild-eyed and dead inside. Why did she have to live this nightmare again?

On her left hand side in the next bed was a balding middle-aged man. He kept staring at Yulia in a sinister way, flicking his tongue back and forth across his lips seemingly revelling in the discomfort he saw in Yulia’s face. He smiled wickedly his nicotine stained teeth like tombstones in his mouth causing Yulia to visibly reel back in shock. She had never in her life seen such a gruesome sight his freak show features sending a chill down her spine. Yulia’s reaction only provoked him to further his acts of vulgarity as he began to touch his groin area provocatively.

Yulia looked away but she could still hear him laughing uncontrollably enjoying the thrill he got out of harassing the diminutive girl. She could only cringe and pray that he would tire of pestering her and fall asleep. She knew having him lying next to her would mean she would have another sleepless night. She couldn’t envisage sleeping too well knowing that he could be hovering over her preparing to take of advantage.

One more look around at everyone else in the dormitory and Yulia could feel herself sinking into a depression staring down at her old worn quilt having seen enough of these people already. How was she going to get through the night?

Then her heart skipped a beat, someone had their hand on her shoulder. It was the revolting tramp, the alcohol toxins he was emitting stinging her nostrils, his superior strength getting the better of her. He grasped her hand. What the hell was he doing? At that moment she thought she saw a familiar face but it couldn’t be…could it?

***

Lena managed to get to the hostel in record-breaking time. She just hoped she hadn’t picked up any speeding tickets on the way but saying that she didn’t really care. The most important thing was finding Yulia and taking her home. As she pulled up outside of the hostel she noted that it was a stone structure, all grey and gloomy and very prison like. Lena collected herself together to try and gain enough momentum to project herself through the door. She knew she had to be on her guard as this was potentially a very difficult situation and if Yulia wasn’t there...She had to stop thinking like that she told herself, Yulia had to be there it was as simple as that. With that she entered the hostel.

There was a bored looking woman on reception. She looked surprised to see Lena she was clearly expecting some down and out. “Hello, can I help you?” she said putting on a pleasant voice.

“Erhm I was wondering if you could tell me if Yulia Volkova is staying here tonight?” Lena smiled sweetly at the woman trying to endear herself to her.

“I’m sorry but I can’t divulge that type of information” Her tone had altered dramatically wavering somewhere between uncooperative and hostile.

“Why not?” Lena questioned in a firm voice.

“That information is strictly private and confidential. If that girl wanted you to know if she was here or not I think she would have told you herself.” The woman seemed to grow in authority acting as a human barrier between Lena and Yulia.

“But” Lena retorted feebly.

“I’m sorry, there is nothing I can do.” She sounded anything but sorry.

“This is ridiculous” Lena could feel herself about to positively burst with anger.

“Like I’ve already said I’m sorry.”

Lena turned to walk out the door. She was determined she was not going to give up, she could sense that Yulia was in that building somewhere she just had to find a way to get in and search for her. But how was she supposed to get in without being noticed? This place was like Fort Knox. She hung around outside the building for a while, weighing up her next move.

After a few minutes Lena noticed that her luck was in and that the receptionist had left her desk unattended. She ran inside quickly making her way through some double doors and into the main dining hall. All she could see were people preparing food in the kitchen hatch totally oblivious to her presence. However, she crept through the room trying to keep the lowest possible profile knowing if she got caught she may never find Yulia.

There was another large room. Through the glass doors she could see that it contained rows of beds. Yulia! The small dark haired girl was sat on a bed looking utterly miserable and dejected staring down at the bed covers as some tramp leered at her from the next bed. Yulia wasn’t paying attention to him and at that moment he stood up placing a hand on her shoulder grabbing her hand and lowering it to his nether region. Lena saw red. She ran in and up to the pervert shoving him hard away from Yulia.

“Leave her alone you f**king old perv. Who do the f**k do you think you are to do that to her?” Lena spat venomously at the tramp waving her fist in his face. He was no longer smiling, the redhead was giving him some serious grief and he didn’t like it one little bit.

Lena feeling she had adequately dealt with the tramp turned her attention to Yulia. “Yulia, you’re not staying here no way, you’re coming home with me now.”

Yulia not quite being able to comprehend what was happening jumped to her feet. Lena seeing her bag on the floor picked it up and threw it over her shoulder putting a protective arm around Yulia before marching her outside past the bewildered receptionist, out of the hostel and into the car park.

Yulia eventually regained her ability to speak as Lena unlocked the car and threw Yulia’s bag onto the back seat. “Lena what you doing here? Why the hell did you just do that?”

“Because you don’t need to be here, I don’t want you to be here, I want you at home with me” Lena declared placing her hands on Yulia’s shoulders and looking deeply into her eyes.

“But. But I don’t understand, you said to Roman…”

Lena cut her off. “It was bulls**t, I just said it to get him off my back for a while. If you knew what he was like you’d know that it’s the best way to deal with him because what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him. I was going to tell him in a few days that you are staying permanently. Believe me Yulia, I want you to be there with me”

Yulia looked imploringly into Lena crystal clear green eyes wanting to believe what she was hearing but it still made more sense to her that Lena would want her to go more than she would ever want her to stay. What had she got to offer Lena? “But I don’t want to put on you Lena it’s not fair.”

“You’re not going to put on me just let me help you sort things out and then you’ll be fine-just don’t leave me!” Lena said a touch of desperation creeping into her voice.

“Leave you?” Yulia could not suppress her surprise or her delight; Lena didn’t want her to leave her!

“Yes, I’m sick of being alone” Lena was on the verge of tears biting her bottom lip to stop it from quivering.

“Hey Lena, don’t cry” Yulia engulfed her in a bear hug enjoying the warmth of Lena’s body pressed against hers shutting her eyes and inhaling the scent of her hair. She held Lena for a time rubbing a hand soothingly up and down her back until Lena’s sniffles died away. She withdrew from the hug regaining eye contact with Lena.

“Lena if you really want me to come back I’d love to, if you’ll have me?” Yulia still wanted to be sure it was what Lena really wanted, she knew she was being overly paranoid but she couldn’t help it.

“Of course I want you to come back silly! It wouldn’t feel like home if you weren’t there Yul. I’d miss you so much you know. So do we have a deal?”

“Deal” Yulia smiled relieved she was going home.

“Good, now let’s get out of this god damn awful place!” With that they got into the car and drove back to their apartment, this was a new start for them both.