Crossing Boundaries, my first fanfic
hi!
this is my first one..so please bear with me...i hope there aren't many mistakes in it... it's just the first chapter..tell me what you think oft it... *beingnervousashell* Chapter 1: She was walking through the streets, freezing, trembling, trying to pull her coat tighter around her with the last force she had left in her frozen fingers. She had never felt so lost in all her life. Lost even in the city she loved most, the streets she had been walking all her life and knew by hard. She had been trying so hard not to cry and not to feel the pain that she had blocked everything out. Her heart was right now even more frozen than her body. She felt that the bruises started to become more and more swollen, that the blood that had been running down her face minutes ago had frozen as well. So many people were passing her, looking at her, noticing her partly torn clothes, the blood and bruises. Not one of them seemed to care. She didn't care. She didn't even look at them. Noticing them would take just too much concentration, too much strength. She didn't see the small black-haired girl who was walking the same street coming to her. She never knew what hit her, she just suddenly felt the pain jolt through her body anew and felt the soft impact on the ground. Why didn't it hurt? Then she saw the small girl lying beneath her. The moment she looked into the girls deep blue eyes she was lost. Suddenly she felt no more pain, she had forgotten all that had happened. Suddenly she didn't feel the cold, suddenly she knew that all would be good again. „Sorry! Did I hurt you?“ Her voice nearly caught in her throat as she tried to pull herself up and the pain returned full force. She tried to hold back, to not show the pain, because she didn't want the beautiful girl beneath her see her so vulnerable. But with her bruised and swollen face, her grey-green eyes shining with the pain, it was impossible. I never saw a girl so beautiful. Although the girl lying on top of her was covered in bruises and blood she still couldn't help but think that the freckled pale face framed by locks of crimson looked astonishing. She had been cold the whole way from school, but suddenly the cold disappeared and she started feeling warm. „No you didn't hurt me. Don't bother with it. It was my fault as well. By the way I'm Yulia!“ „Hi. I'm Lena. Sorry again.“ Lena had realized that standing up wouldn't work so she rolled over instead. As Lena's body left Yulia's she suddenly felt the cold hit her full force again and she trembled unconsciously. As Yulia stood up she saw that Lena was still sitting on the concrete trying to suppress her pain. „Come on.“ Yulia helped Lena up, bringing their bodies nearer again. Looking her up and down Yulia noticed that standing Lena looked even worse in her partly torn clothes. But she is nevertheless beautiful. „Are you ok? You don't look so hot.“ Concern written all over Yulia's face. „No. I'm all right.“ „Really?“ „Yes.“ I don't want her to see my pain. Yulia felt a strong urge to help this girl, who even in her state looked like an angel and was just slightly bigger than herself. I have to make her confess that she needs help. Yulia didn't think about what she was doing, she just automatically reached for the girls cheek and touched it on one of the bruised spots. Lena winced under the touch, fire burning through her skin, spreading from Yulia's finger. She didn't know if the fire came with the pain or from Yulia's touch. „If you're all right, then why did you just wince?“ „I....I feel....I don't know...“ Lena bowed her head, studying the floor, trying hard to come up with something to say. Yulia had to smile at Lena's reaction. She just somehow seemed so sweet and cute. „Come with me. You must be freezing cold. I can see it because you're trembling.“ Yulia smiled her hand still on Lena's face, she reached just a bit sideways and tugged a lock of crimson behind Lena's ear. Lena had to smile. Few moments ago she had thought she could never smile again and there she was standing in the cold night and smiling, forgetting her pain just because of this small black-haired girl with those big blue eyes shining up to her. Everything seemed suddenly so good. „Ok.“ Yulia's grin grew wider. She had never thought that such a simple answer could light up her whole day. They took each other by the hand like it would be the most normal thing in the world like they would know each other forever. They were moving very slowly forward, because of Lena's injuries, but didn't feel the need to go faster, for they long ago had stopped being cold. |
I like it!
And I'm *very* curious as to where the story will progress. More please. :) Parrish |
like it like it so far...keep up! I'm waiting!!
Arwen |
Very good :) Also great way of forming the sentences, I like! Please write more! More more more!
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thanks for your comments...i really appreciate it ;)
i'm gonna try and type up the next parts as fast as i can but i can't promise anything.. *can'tstopgrinning* |
awesome
me likes as well can't wait for you to continue..
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well son of a building block, that was really goooood :D
so I'm witht the others and say PUT UP MORE! |
tis fish just has to ta the bait.....
OK the hook is in!
quite a hard kind of kick off but also make me wander who or what did beat lena up? |
announcement
were working on a site for this fanfic and it will be up soon!
so stay tuned and check regularly ! Lena410 and mir |
very cool...i am lookin forward too it
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Wow...
That was really great Lena410! We're all waiting for more! I personally am waiting to see where this is going, and better yet, find out what the heck happened to Lena! Man, someone better kick a** of whoever hurt Lena...and I'm perfectly willing to do it myself...grrr :mad:
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so far i liked it... :done:
do you know what you got yourself into? once you start .. you can't stop writting we can become obsesive you know.. :D |
Online
Dear craving crowd.....
As humble as our site may be... It is online now! to see them pages just click here The site is still under construction and will be for a while... we will later add some more face and fantasy to them pages... LENA410 MIR |
hahaha, i like the comment when u try to read a chapter that hasnt been posted yet :p
cool site too :) any idea when the next chapter might be up? |
Thank you so much for the update.
And you're right, I need to practice my cravings :D |
excellent...a different direction for a story.
I dont think i can practice my cravin though...cause its just too hard! |
updates are what i want to see!! haha im wondering what did happen before yulia bumped into lena
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Dear craving crowd.....
our site has moved! It is online now! to see them pages just click here or copy paste www.evassite.net The site is still under construction and will be for a while... We will later add some more face and fantasy to them pages... As we mentioned before.. LENA410 MIR PS. guest book does not work yet! sorry.... |
no new chapters :(
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I'm working on new chapters...I just have no time to type them up..sorry..
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Great stuff!!
I can't wait to feed my addiction again. :) Parrish |
Lena410, no need to be sorry...
looking forward to reading the next installment :) |
UPDATE !
Dear craving people!
Let us all be thankful to Lena410....... Chapter four is up ! so enjoy! pls sign the guestbook? Lena410 Mir |
wohoooooooo
i love ur fanfic keep it comin
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hey
i cant get chapter 4 the link broke : ( please fix it please
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just checked
works fine.... try again? |
i did it keeps comin up blank saying its not here. hey how come its a different address to the rest of the fiction? the rest is on home planet why not just update that page?
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dear ann,
the old site is to go down in a day or two and didnot support the scripts we're using.. Try looking at www.evassite.net mir link is fixed now! click here |
excellent chapter...and I am hating the fact that I have to fight my cravings.....
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mir...
tnx for the fix...plsss post more |
New chapter
Dear craving crowd!
we are proud to present: Chapter Five Let us all bow our heads in honour of Lena410 for addig a new chapter! Enjoy the new chapter and don't forget to sign the guestbook.. |
fan tab lous chapter
it gets better and better as you continue to write more
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ok ok ok ok ok ok
tnx for chap 5... |
yes...when can we expect more...
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soon...I've written chpt 6 just have to find time to type it up and send it to my editor...but I have a lot of exams right now...but I'll try to squeeze it in somewhere into my shedule
;-) |
new chapter
To our loyal visitors!.... and to everyone else too..
Despite of her tight schedule LENA 410 has managed to find time to give you chapter 6. Let us celebrate! She has also given them chapters titles! It is up now! click here to see it all In name of Lena410 (author) Mir (editor) |
Woo-hoo!!
I've been trying *so* hard not to pester Lena410 for more chapters.....and just when I thought I'd *have* to ask (nicely, of course) when there'd be an update, here it is! Yay!
Very well done! And you've got a real talent for titles as well. I usually have a heck of a time coming up with titles, so I'm impressed. Sweet relief as the cravings subside for a little while... Parrish |
ok. tnx for chapter six....
despite of ut busy sked, u manage to write something for us |
oh simply lovely...
wow..they finally parted..didn't think that day would ever come |
lol...we must really thank Lena410 for taking time out of studying etc to write the next chap of the fic.
That really taked dedication!! :D |
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