Oscar and t.A.T.u.
 

Forgive me...I can't sleep...



Best Actor: Although the scene had to be shot numerous times, the result was more than satisfying! And the Oscar goes to ……. Ms. Yulia Volkova from ‘Prostie Dvizhenija’!

*Thunderous Applauses*
*Camera cuts to Yulia*
“Hell, Yeah!!! Mo-focker!!!”

Best Music: Okay, I’m biased. ‘Not Gonna Get us’ takes the little, golden man home!

*Applauses*

Best Cinematographer: This person is a mad capper, but we are all grateful for it. And the Oscar goes to ….. I_Love_Yulia!

*Applauses*

Best Actress: Ladies and gentleman, it is the most convincing kiss on screen one has ever seen! And the Oscar goes to ….. Ms. Lena Katina from ‘Half an Hour’!

*Thunderous Applauses*
*Camera cuts to Lena*
“You have no fuc—beep—idea!” Lena roars, jumping up from her seat.

Best Director: Mr. Ivan Shapalo—Cough! ...Yes, yes, you, over there …

*Applauses*
The audiences: Who?
*Applauses*

Best Art Direction: The best lighting ever! Although the thunderstorm and the snowing back and forth don’t make much sense, without doubt … ‘All The Thing She Said’!!!

*Applauses*

Best Makeup: Ladies and gentlemen, you wouldn’t believe this! And the Oscar goes to …. Ms. Yulia Volkova from ‘Her 18th Birthday Party’!

See it for yourself http://www.uhaku.com/images/b-day2.jpg
The audiences: *gasps!*

Honorary Award: You don’t even have to guess …… And the Oscar goes to …… Ms. Echoed! Anyone who disagrees can leave this forum—hall right now!

*Turning the volume of the recorded sound of applauses louder*

Best Foreign Language Music: I don’t think anything could sound more beautiful than this … And the Oscar goes to ……… ‘Zachem Ja’!

*Applauses*

Best Supporting Actor: Shhh!!! Shhhh!!! … This place is never the same without your splendid contributions! And the Oscar goes to …… Freddie, the Censored!

*Applauses*

Best Adapted Screenplay: No one can deny this most amusing, creative piece of literature of the century!!! And the Oscar goes to ………… whatever The Sun publishes!

*BOOOO BOOOOO*

Best Supporting Actress: Her acting was so convincing, captivating to say the least. I am utterly speechless by her talent. She is the best chameleon in t.A.T.u world! Love the girls one moment, hate them the next! And the Oscar goes to …… Ms. Kate B! Or whatever the name she chooses to go by today!

*Applauses*

Best Costume Design: I don’t know even how to describe it … it’s beyond words. And the Oscar goes to …….. http://www.uhaku.com/images/costume.jpg

*A tomato is thrown … a sock … a strawberry-flavor condom.*
Presenter: *That’s enough!*

Best Picture: Since I can’t make up my mind among all those lovely videos I downloaded for free from Kazaa, so I’ll just pick the one that contains …….. ‘Tatu-Everything’ by Riptyd!

*Applauses*

Best Original Screenplay: The most heartbreaking of all! It leaves you numbed for a good 2.5 seconds! Kindly written ……… ‘Dream on’ by Forre!

*Endless Applauses*


Note: any other suggestion??? --- finally (((yawnsss))).

best actor = miss volkova? so shes butch and hot:D

“Hell, Yeah!!! Mo-focker!!!”

LOL picturing Yulia saying that.


This was the cheesiest thing ever :D

excellent!!!

LOL!

Oh, I *so* needed a laugh today! I'm glad I looked at this thread. <Giggle>

Parrish

And the oscar for the best and greatest actress of all time, who is so wonderful and caring and sends money to the poor children in Africa everyday so that they can afford to buy shoes goes to... dum dum dum... QUEENBEE!!!

*standing ovations*

Somebody yells "I LOVE YOU QUEENBEE!" while someone else yells "YOU ARE THE GREATEST OF THE GREATEST!"

*people start clapping in tact while screaming "Queenbee is the queen of the world!"*

*Camera zooms on the wonderful queenbee*

-Wow.. Thank you so much.. I wasn't expecting this at all... *clears throat* I want to thank all the children because they are the future.. And these money will go to the CancerFund and I will also help to stop the importation of dog and cat skin that is used for making clothes.

*Techical-dude whispers something*

-What? I don't get any money for this?

*queenbee goes insane*

-What do you mean no money?! What the *bleep* you think I will *bleep* to this *bleep* *bleep* for you and then *bleeeeeeeep* #@¤/!

Audience: *GASP*

*Queenbee becomes very violent*

-YOU *bleep* THAT I *bleep* AND COME ALL THE *bleep* WAY TO *bleep*...

*Sound-technicians and other storm on stage to lead Queenie out of there*

-DONT *bleep* TOUCH ME YOU *bleep*!

Host: - Eh, we will take a break...

easy does it...lol

Uhaku.......you know....J'ADORE!.........
"Best Makeup: Ladies and gentlemen, you wouldn’t believe this! And the Oscar goes to …. Ms. Yulia Volkova from ‘Her 18th Birthday Party’"..

That never arrived to me on the Net but I am absolutly under the Charm!!!...lol...

... It is far "Chicago" ?...may be tomorrow I'll take the "Titanic" to go in "America, America"...I'll arrive in "New-York, New-York" where I meet the "Citizane Kane" who tells me go to the next "Bus Stop"...here I'll try to reach "The bridges of Madison Country"...I'll walk on a "Sunset boulevard"...then I'll take "A streetcar named desire"....but suddenly, I'll be lost...and I'll say it's "Apocalyps Now!".....I'll meet another man "Oz Magician" with magical powers and "Gone with the Wind"...I'll arrive at "Chicago".....

uhaku, you are friggin' priceless. LOL. I laughed.

And if I disagree with my own award, does that mean I have to leave the hall? *Cackles.*

~Echo.

uhaku :lol: :lol: :lol:

LMfao. ahhah. strawberry flavored condom? tomato? julia erhm..likes tomato juice and strawberry ice cream?
ahhhh close enough.:D

Ahem. :lol: :P

cool thread :)
 

you had me laughing up a storm :) I especially like the Best Make-Up award :lol:

Meaning?

GOD! I know you are a movie freak! JUST LIKE ME! How i love "Apocalyse Now!" !!!!!!


*Audiences murmuring!*
Presenter: ((shoving the golden man at her chest)) Huh? Are u having an Attention Deficit Disorder? I'll tie you down with that mike! ... Wait, lower the mike down to 5 feet tall!

Uhaku....

1/ ..J'adore..-->....I adore...--> I'm found of..I like very, very , very much that you wrote..

2/ ..you're a movie freak..! JUST LIKE ME!......yeah...when I was 10 years old, my ONLY DREAM was to go at "OSCARS' CEREMONY", one day, that why your text affects me so....5 years later, I went at "CESARS' CEREMONY"...it's the same thing for us , in France....my dream became true ..a little....
I read a lot of books about Cinema..and I have a "Cinema's Licence" ( in France , it's a University certificate: Bac -end of secondary studies- + 3 years)...
....but since 15 years , I don't really follow, know the new movies..because I transformed my passion...now for me my best actors & actresses are my friends and the people that I love..&..my best movie is my life...

3/We have many common tastes ("The English Patient", "Casablanca"..)...this is why I proposed to you to come to Chicago..lol..... I'm not a "shameless woman" which proposes that with everyone !!!.....lol...

4/We have many common tastes ...yes....but... ,me, I do my best but I don't understand all the english langage's subtleties... and may be I'm wrong but I think you have "cold humour"..isn't it?...
...so I hope I made mistakes in interpretation , in translation...because Echo is my "Star"(Hollywood..lol..)...it's true...I like her very, very much because I just admire her..she so subtle...

Play it again, Sam..

Subtle, am I? Reeeaally...

*Subtly slides out of the spotlight, and reclaims her seat somewhere backstage. Oscar-less.* :P Haha. *Is actually the Assistant Director #3 of the show. Gotta keep things smooth, you know. Or try to. Hah.*

~Echo.

...yeah....the Assistant Director #3 of the show.....or the make-up girl....
Sadness is like a bruise. It can be masked with just the right amount of make-up..

The presenter is not a barbarian, so she would let Assistant Director # 3 go in peace.

((sitting backstage, defeated ...
with a robe in her hands,
strangling the golden, little man))

cold humour --- Natalie, u almost choked me if Echoed had not been online at the moment. LOL! Thanks :) I'm glad ur life is the best movie of all. :rose: Congradulations!

And I am a shameless woman who asked men out. Never tried a woman yet, you'd be my first. Leave the charms of 'Moulin Rouge'. I'm waiting ... 'Breathless' (А bout de souffle) ... right here in 'Chicago'.

*Resumes doing her work.* :P

Be it make-up or direction. *Chuckles.*
Tracing bruises shows you where you need to heal. ^-^ It's something to smile about.

~Echo.

Uhaku...may be ...in "Another day in Paradise"...with "The Lady from Shangaп"(I'm CRAAAAAZYYY of Orson Welles..)....lol....but for the present time..."My heart belongs to my Daddy..!!!"......Bye......Pou POU Pi DOU ..hou!..

P.S: GIRL, you know, I just realize that ,during the previous messages, I was thinking you were...a MAN...it's true.....lol.....sorry, if I shocked you...it was unintentional...funny, funny, funny....but you began with your invitation to see a movie...remember..lol...