'All'
 

I wrote it a while ago. (if only my mom could read english) heh heh.


All over your face, all over mine,
Between your legs, where the sun don’t shine,
I look innocent, vulnerable, and you sigh,
Misinform the word, ‘love’, and stab the word, ‘kind’,
Remember well, when my scream makes you smile,
Pluses and multiplies, and I feel obliged,
Hold on to your masquerade, so no one sees how hard we try,
But as we falter, the devil rules our minds,
Knock on the door, this time I won't be denied,
Come on in, and don't you dare to cry,
Rip my heart out, and you’ll see your pain in mine.

Oohh...good one!

I particularly like the line, "rip my heart out, and you'll see your pain in mine."

That's a line I'd have liked to say to my first love. <Smile>

Parrish

wow.......that was unbelievebly great...

parrish, the poem wasn't meant for a lover.
i wrote it to my mother. LOL. but i guess
a poem can be interpreted in several different
ways. feel free to interpret any way u want. ^_^

I also thought that poem was meant for a lover. When I for the first time read it, I thought: Oh...my... God !!! Especially first 5 lines, so in prose, what a bravery! And last line; I could really feel how my heart was ripped out. Then I saw it is for your mother, well, it is still powerful.

Lol! yeah, i can see how ppl can interpret it THAT way. i'd have to explain the first five lines before someone think *something* is going on here b/w me and my mom. (((shudders)))

"Between your legs, where the sun don’t shine," <--- this line i meant when i was born. a baby, u know. emm... uh...but as i said before, take the meaning whichever way u want...art is limitless. ^.^

haha once u said it was for your mother, this part clicked:

All over your face, all over mine,
Between your legs, where the sun don’t shine,
I look innocent, vulnerable, and you sigh
Remember well, when my scream makes you smile


both ways you wanna translate it, its understandable.....great job on it, i enjoyed it

Whoops!
 

Well, at least I wasn't the *only* one who thought it sounded like it could be addressed to a lover! I don't feel so silly. :)

That's how poetry goes...it can be read in so many ways!

I still like this one though. :)

Parrish

I was just gonna ask you what's up with the between-your-legs-thing. ;)

It's very sweet.. Aaw.. Although I'm not really good in English and don't understand all the words this poem was fantastic :D Keep it up *I wanna see more*!

i've read this more times than usual, and one thing keeps popping into my mind... perhaps, uhaku, this feeling (be it whatever it is..) brings u closer to ur mom. a kinship of feeling the same thing. of knowing what should be done (the masquerade part) and how to maintain it.

i would say, in a sentence, that this author is trying to finally coming-to-terms with their relationship with thier mother. u, ofcourse, can interpret it in any way.

(oh well.. still a powerful peice)...



-skrt

it's very interesting to see how ppl interpret it so differently.

skrt, the masquerade part (for my own interpretation) isn't about what we know what should be done. it's about what we are doing; pretending nothing is wrong, that we're strong.

coming-to-term with their mother? the last three lines are purely wishful thinking in my part. thanks for taking ur time to think about it. :)

aaaaaaah..... i understand now. thank you for clearing it up! the idea that you're hiding behind something, a mask, for example. shrouding urself even in the most public places and pretending to be something that ur not.. i understand now. that's a very interesting way of saying it. i really, really like that line.

wishful thinking, aye? yeah.. i guess i'm not a good interpreter of things...... i thought the last coupl've lines were u sort've recognizing/realizing something that bonded u with her. but i like the wishful thinking part... it was something that i didn't expect, and that's always good.


sorry, lol. i'm reading too much into these posts. first i get dissapointed with echoed for not telling us WHO the chick wanted (the guy or the girl) and now i'm like, arguing with u about ur own feelings :P this is NOT good :D but thanks for sharing and explaining again.. :)



-skrt