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-   -   Bliss (poem, rating: pg-15ish i think) (http://forum.tatysite.net/showthread.php?t=6090)

amikana 25-11-2003 01:29

Bliss (poem, rating: pg-15ish i think)
 
title: Bliss
type: poem
rating: around pg-15ish i think [shrugs]
disclaimer: this is mine and only mine.

Bliss - 112403

Flushed cheeks.
Moan.
Shallow breathing.
Whimper.
Skin infused with heat.
Groan.
Searching fingers.
Gasp.
Grinding hips - steady rhythm.
Moan.
Whimper.
Groan.
Gasp.

Clenching muscles.
Scream.
Exquistite bliss -
as the world explodes in brilliant white light.

--fin.

let me know what you think, eh? thanks. :)

amikana :)

amikana 02-12-2003 22:49

hmm, well apparently i suck. lol. no more writing stuff like this, then.

XSpex 02-12-2003 23:03

Oh, I haven't read this one :P, I think it's good, although I'm not a good critic of poems, I like the description of 'that moment' with few words

warx 02-12-2003 23:41

it reminds me about this song "freak me" by another level...

here's some line...:gigi:
"let me lick u up and down, till u say stop, let me play with ur body baby make u real hot"

seriously amikana....:lalala:
its cute...hehehehehe

amikana 03-12-2003 00:29

lmao - thanks :)

guesshoo 05-12-2003 23:17

i dunno, i like this one.
to me, the fewer the words, the better the poem.
and you have definately captured the moment.

i like this.
i really do.


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