View Full Version : Humorous take on some current issues

30-08-2004, 03:54
Government Emblem

The government today announced that it is changing its emblem from an
Eagle to a condom because it more accurately reflects the government's
political stance. A condom stands up to inflation, halts production,
destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a
sense of security while you're actually being screwed. Damn, it just
doesn't get more accurate than that.

Ten Commandments

The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a Courthouse!
You cannot post "Thou Shall Not Steal," "Thou Shall Not Commit Adultery"
and "Thou Shall Not Lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges and
politicians! It creates a hostile work environment.

Zero Gravity

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that
ball-point pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat this problem,
NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion developing a pen that writes
in zero gravity, upside-down, on almost any surface including glass and at
temperatures ranging from below freezing to over 300 C. The Russians used a
pencil. Your taxes are due again--enjoy paying them.


Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that our government can
track a cow born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where
she sleeps in the state of Washington. And they tracked her calves to
their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens
wandering around our country.

Our Constitution

"They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq. Why don't we
just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it's
worked for over 200 years and hell, we're not using it anymore."

So, how screwed up is the United States? ;) I've been informed, however, that the thing about NASA is mostly bogus.

30-08-2004, 07:30
lmao ypsidan04 that was too funny for words. And concidering that the republican national convention is this week, it was well timed too. Thank you.