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Kate
01-07-2004, 02:27
Right, another simple game here (last one for today, promise):

I'll start by saying:

Tanya is a very nice girl.

The next person will say:

Unfortunately she doesn't have a brain.

3rd person says:

Fortunately there is a new medicine that can help her.

Unfortunately it's very rare...

Understand? Keep alternating between Unfortunately and Fortunately. And stick to the story, don't start a new one suddenly, ok?

Here we go:

Simon was walking down the street, tomorrow he'd have to move to Italy

kishkash
01-07-2004, 02:33
Fortunately...italy is quite mild this time of year

for TODAY??? :bum:

Kate
01-07-2004, 02:34
kishskash I found another forum with heaps of really cool forum games. We'll be able to play them, but I decided not to post more then we can swallow. :gigi:

transcend
01-07-2004, 02:40
Fortunately - Italy is quite mild this time of year.

Unfortunately - its culture saw its best days about 2000 years ago.

Kate
01-07-2004, 02:42
Fortunatly there are lots of historic creations left to enjoy.

kishkash
01-07-2004, 02:42
unfortunately - Simon didn't seem to care about this as he was uncultured to tha MAX

Kate
01-07-2004, 02:43
Fortunatly Simon was rich and didn't have to study history or go to school at all.

transcend
01-07-2004, 02:45
Unfortunately this had left Simon somewhat smug and ignorant to the true nature of reality.

kishkash
01-07-2004, 02:46
fortunately - simon was funny as hell so his ingnorance and arrogance would never be seen

dare2dream28
01-07-2004, 02:52
unfortunately - people didn't really think he was all that funny so he cried.

Kate
01-07-2004, 02:54
Fortunately his father was a boss of the tissue manufacturing complany, so Simon had plenty of tissues to wipe his tears. :lol:

kishkash
01-07-2004, 02:55
unfortunately - he was allergic to tissues...and started to bloat up in a rather odd and scary fashion

[stop deleting posts damn u! *shakes fist*]

Kate
01-07-2004, 03:00
Fortunately there was a doctor boarding Simon's plane...

kishkash
01-07-2004, 03:01
unfortunately - this doctor was the unqualified and slightly moronic character from the simpsons, Dr. Nick

Kate
01-07-2004, 03:03
Fortunately there was a sexy nurse accompanying Dr. Nick.

kishkash
01-07-2004, 03:04
unfortunately - the nurse was also underqualified as she literally just got her toothpicking pickers liscence

Kate
01-07-2004, 03:06
Fortunately Simon's allergy calmed down for the time being.

dare2dream28
01-07-2004, 03:06
Damn it, I'm too slow!!!! *shakes fist at mind* Think faster!!!! Anyway....

Unfortnately the unqualified nurse forgot about his reaction and wiped his face with another tissue, trying to help him clean up.

Kate
01-07-2004, 03:08
Fortunately the plane security didn't let the underqualified medical personel on board. :gigi:

Tom Violence
01-07-2004, 03:15
Unfortunately Simon's bloating left diminished seat room for his neighbouring passengers. Hence they were enraged and pummeled his face using a variety of karate moves.

kishkash
01-07-2004, 03:16
fortunately simon was already out and unconscious as his airway had been blocked by the extreme swelling of his windpipe from the repeated tissue exposure

transcend
01-07-2004, 03:30
Unfortunately Simon's fellow passengers were trying to revive him so he could feel the weight of their wrath.

Tom Violence
01-07-2004, 03:31
Fortunately, Simon was wearing four extra jumpers so as to not have to pay excess baggage. Therefore, when they woke him, he could barely feel their blows.

transcend
01-07-2004, 03:33
Unfortunately the four extra jumpers were somewhat constricting and the horrible swelling began to make them split under the strain.

Kate
01-07-2004, 03:39
Fortunately Simon's mom came onto the plane and asked him to go home with her.

transcend
01-07-2004, 03:42
Unfortunately Simon's mom had enjoyed an incestuous relationship with her son for the last four years and her insatiable sexual appetite meant that his fragile psychological state was to be imperilled yet again.

Kate
01-07-2004, 03:44
Fortunately Simon's dad has filed a restriction order to keep his wife away from Simon.

Tom Violence
01-07-2004, 03:46
Unfortunately, she had clearly broken that restriction, as she was now on the plane asking Simon to come home with her.

Kate
01-07-2004, 03:48
Fortunately Simson was now a teenager, and since his mom abused him when he was very young, he didn't recognise her. She was just a hot woman to him.

Tom Violence
01-07-2004, 03:50
Unfortunately, Simon's childhood trauma had left him permenently unable to sustain an errection, so he felt inadaquate in the face of his mother's amorous advances.

Kate
01-07-2004, 03:52
Fortunately his mother found a medicine to cure his erection problem, cuz she wanted some action. :gigi:

transcend
01-07-2004, 04:12
Unfortunately, Simon's mother - Simone's - voracious sexual appetite meant that she overdid it somewhat and started to feel sudden knifing pains in her chest.

Kate
01-07-2004, 04:20
Fortunately she realised early on that it were her breat implants - their change date was overdue.

transcend
01-07-2004, 04:28
Unfortunately Simon panicked, dismounted his mother as fast as Frankie Dettori after winning the Prix de l' Arc de Triomphe, and in so doing cracked his head open against the bedside table.

Kate
01-07-2004, 04:32
Fortunately Simon had a long-lost brother, Solomon, and after getting her breats fixed, his mother Simone went to look for him.

transcend
01-07-2004, 04:43
Unfortunately, Simone's narcissism meant that she paid no attention whatsoever to Simon's cracked head, so some 3 days later he lay in the same spot - dead from his injuries.

Kate
01-07-2004, 09:40
Fortunately Simon had a really cool funeral at which everyone got something nice to eat and drink.

*I'm so cold blooded*

transcend
01-07-2004, 09:59
Unfortunately, prawns were on the buffet menu (you've always got to be careful with seafood, you know) and Simon's brother Solomon went down with a nasty case of food-poisoning, leaving him unable to sate Simone's nocturnal desires.

Kate
01-07-2004, 10:05
Fortunately Simone's father, Salvador, was in town for the funeral of his grandson, and although he was *smaller*, Simone was willing to go to this great extent to satisfy her desires...

*Lol. One big, happy family we are making up, arn't we? :lol: *

transcend
01-07-2004, 10:09
*Lol. One big, happy family we are making up, arn't we? :lol: *

Aside: Which reminds me of the sick quip - moderators, feel free to delete - I came from a really close family: I always knew when my sister had her period because you could taste the blood on Dad's dick. I know....terrible.

Kate
01-07-2004, 10:11
transcend, let's just move the story away from the incest. Lol.

freddie
01-07-2004, 15:12
Fortunately Simone's father, Salvador, was in town for the funeral of his grandson, and although he was *smaller*, Simone was willing to go to this great extent to satisfy her desires...

*Lol. One big, happy family we are making up, arn't we? :lol: *

Unfortunately Simone's dad was a sailor and gave Simone several sexualy transmited diseases, and Simone had to go be admitted into the hospital with a severe case of gonorohea. :p

luxxi
01-07-2004, 15:16
Furtunatly here she met her future husband

:newyear:

freddie
01-07-2004, 16:54
Unfortunately her future husband fails to inform her that he's really a woman.

Tom Violence
01-07-2004, 16:57
Fortunately her future husband - Simona - was a Canadian citizen, so their wedding was legally able to proceed, and they enjoyed a pleasant ceremony in Saskatoon.

freddie
01-07-2004, 17:00
Unfortunately Simone wasn't gay and she got bored with the perpetual artificialy induced erections.

luxxi
01-07-2004, 17:10
Fortunately they taped themselves having sex and sold tape to porn company

:newyear:

kishkash
01-07-2004, 17:12
Fortunately her future husband - Simona - was a Canadian citizen, so their wedding was legally able to proceed, and they enjoyed a pleasant ceremony in Saskatoon. Saskatoon? :bum: is anything pleasant there? :p

freddie
01-07-2004, 17:17
Unfortunaltely it signaled the end of their marriage, cause Simona decided to pursue a porn career.

luxxi
01-07-2004, 17:22
Fortunately so did Simon

:newyear:

freddie
01-07-2004, 17:31
Unfortunaltely Simon's dead and buried by now. Fortunately Luxxi probably meant Simone... but unfortunately Simone doesn't do good in the porn industy cause she's not a screamer.

luxxi
01-07-2004, 17:50
Fortunatly she's neither a sweater. :lol:

:newyear:

freddie
01-07-2004, 17:52
Unfortunately you need to sweat a lot in modern porn.

Kate
01-07-2004, 21:53
Fortunately Simone's agent knew a guy who knew a guy who knew some people who practiced illegal sweat-pore transplant surgery. :gigi:

Unplugged
01-07-2004, 23:02
Unfortunately, the guy demanded 1 million dollars for the surgery and Simone's agent couldn't afford it.

crni
01-07-2004, 23:03
fortunately, simone's agent found some old simone's friend who just happend to have the necessary million ;)

Unplugged
01-07-2004, 23:05
Unfortunately, Simone's friend said he would only give them the million if Simone would give him a rimjob every day for 1 year.

crni
01-07-2004, 23:07
fortunately for her friend, simone accepted the "trade" :D

Unplugged
01-07-2004, 23:11
eewww, she accepted to lick one guy's anus for a ONE whole year?! What a cheap slut! :lol:

Unfortunately, Simone's agent ran away with the money, leaving Simone in misery with not enough to sweat to turn on the porn viewers during the sex.

Kate
01-07-2004, 23:14
Fortunately... *tries to think of something PG-13* Simone got an offer to star opposite Tom Cruise and play a role of a porn star who suffered from the lack of sweat. A drama/romance.

crni
01-07-2004, 23:17
unfortunately, she refused the offer since she wouldn't earn the necessary million...

Kate
01-07-2004, 23:18
Fortunately she played lotto and won "Power Ball" of the week, aka $13,000,000.

crni
01-07-2004, 23:23
unfortunately, she lost consciousness when she found out and stayed like that for few days...

Unplugged
01-07-2004, 23:26
*tries to think of something PG-13* Simone got an offer to star opposite Tom Cruise and play a role of a porn star who suffered from the lack of sweat. A drama/romance.
LMAO!! :lol: :lol: :lol: OMG, that was HILARIOUS, Kate! I can't stop laughing! hahahaha A movie about a porn star who suffers from lack of sweat :hah: :lol:
:done:

Fortunately, when she recovered consciousness she talked to the doctor who agreed to do the surgery which would help her to sweat like a pig :gigi:

Kate
01-07-2004, 23:28
Unfortunately, with great sweat comes great responsibility to take care of it. She went broke by buying deodorant.

staringelf, hehe, thanks. :heh:

crni
01-07-2004, 23:31
fortunately, she got some discount on such products because of her great consupmtion of deodorants from the local store :p

luxxi
01-07-2004, 23:33
Unfortunatlly all were past there "use before date"

:newyear:

WTF? :ithink:

Unplugged
01-07-2004, 23:40
:lol: :lol: :lol:

Fortunately, she sued the store for having old deodorant on stock and they were forced by law to sell her a thousand units of new deodorant for free.

Kate
01-07-2004, 23:42
Unfortunately... *tries to think of something not involving allergy*... Simone's sweat pores got blocked by the cheap deodorant and she went back to sweating under the required level...

crni
01-07-2004, 23:43
fortunately, she soon got fired from the porn industry and avoided getting aids that way :p

oh, kate :rolleyes: :p

Unplugged
01-07-2004, 23:44
Unfortunately, Simone had to walk on the streets begging for money since she got broke, but then she found God and He gave her a new reason for living: she decided to become a nun, and went to a convent to try to serve the Lord.

Kate
01-07-2004, 23:48
Unfortunately Simone's hot body seduced the pope on her first annual visit to Vatican.

crni
01-07-2004, 23:52
fortunately, noone found out what happened later :p

Unplugged
01-07-2004, 23:54
Unfortunately, 6 months later a tabloid reporter who was paid to investigate the Vatican sex scandals found out about it and Simone got famous as the HolyHooker.

Kate
01-07-2004, 23:56
Fortunately, Simone got a whole chapter dedicated to her in the Bible - Second Edition. :D

crni
01-07-2004, 23:56
:lol:

unfortunately, she didn't know what bible is

Unplugged
01-07-2004, 23:59
Fortunately, someone explained it to her and she got so excited that she decided to write a book entitled "The New Bible", which sold millions for being so controversial.

Kate
02-07-2004, 00:01
Unfortunately, the promotional movie for her book starring herself was banned by Richard and Judy from BBC.

crni
02-07-2004, 00:02
fortunately, it was show on NBC and everybody loved it

Kate
02-07-2004, 00:04
Unfortunately the movie started a massive Anti-Christ/Anti-Bible movement, and the pro-Christian government of USA blamed Simone for it.

crni
02-07-2004, 00:05
fortunately, she got out of the US and moved to syberia

Unplugged
02-07-2004, 00:06
Unfortunately, she was treated very badly by the bible fanatics, the syberians who called her a hooker all the time, with men trying to rape her, she was given a new identity by the police and moved to Cuba.

Kate
02-07-2004, 00:08
Fortunately Simone's agents and special body-guards found her in Syberia and flew her to the Pope who was still madly in love with her.

crni
02-07-2004, 00:10
unfortunately, she didn't know where she is... in syberia or on cuba... :p

Kate
02-07-2004, 00:13
Fortunately the Pope was a master in bed, so she didn't care where in the world they were. :p

crni
02-07-2004, 00:14
unfortunately the pope passed away during hot action :gigi:

Unplugged
02-07-2004, 00:17
Fortunately the police didn't blame Simone for the Pope's death.

crni
02-07-2004, 00:18
unfortunately simone was feeling down after the whole situation

Unplugged
02-07-2004, 00:20
Fortunately, she met a hot male psychiatrist who gave her lots of anti-depressants, and helped her with lots of therapy - in every possible way :heh:

crni
02-07-2004, 00:21
unfortunately she became a drug addict like m.monroe
g.nite...

Unplugged
02-07-2004, 00:29
Fortunately, her psychiatrist, who now was her lover, sent her to a rehab clinic.

goodnight, crni :D :done:

freddie
02-07-2004, 00:34
Unfortunately there she got involved with a szhizophrenic Indian with which she eloped to Puerto Rico for a nice summer vacation with her lover and his imaginary friends

Unplugged
02-07-2004, 01:07
LMAO, freddie! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :done:

Fortunately, she realized later that hanging out with schizophrenics in Puerto Rico was not a future for her, so she want back to her boyfriend's house.

kishkash
02-07-2004, 01:11
Unfortunately...she missed Fernando...one of the imaginary friends of the schizo Indian she eloped with...life without Fernando just wasn't the same

Unplugged
02-07-2004, 01:22
Fortunately, she asked her psychiatrist lover to create her a new drug which allows the brain to create lots of random imaginary friends every day, so she stopped missing Fernando since she discovered so many imaginary new friends

freddie
02-07-2004, 02:49
Unfortunately the imaginary friend she liked the most - Vesuvio from Kuala Lumpur - turned gay and started cheating her with Fernando.

Kate
02-07-2004, 03:01
LMAO. Our story has taken up a whole new level of imagination. :lol:

Fortunately she wrote another bestseller book about having sex with imaginary friends. :p

Unplugged
02-07-2004, 21:39
Unfortunately, she was accused by the International Schizophrenic Association of using this disease to get profit from book sales, they sued her and she had to pay them 7,000,000 dollars. She also was sued by some medical association for using illegal drugs, and so was her psychiatrist boyfriend who got mad at her for using his experimental drug in that way so she could sell books, and he dumped her. Simone wasn't rich anymore and she had no love and no friendship except virtual.

Kate
02-07-2004, 23:34
Fortunately, the Pope resurrected from the dead, just like Jesus, and was back in Simone's life. (Obviously, God though he didn't have enough sex to enter Heaven.)

forre
03-07-2004, 00:03
Unfortunately he ressurected 1000 years later and lost his position.

Kate
03-07-2004, 00:15
Fortunately, though, Simone took part in a scientific experiment (cuz there was nothing more worth while for her to do) and was literally frozen for 1000 years. So she was happily reunited with the love of her life, the Pope.

forre
03-07-2004, 00:20
Unfortunately during the unfreezing process something went wrong and she had to undergo a painful plastic surgery to reconstruct her appearance.

Kate
03-07-2004, 00:27
Fortunately in year 3004 plastic surgery was very advanced and cheap, so for 50 cents she got a face lift and they even threw in free breast removal. (In year 3004, men found women with no boobs sexy.) :D

forre
03-07-2004, 03:40
Unforunately the Pope wasn't much excited about this new tendency of 3004 and got a heart attack.

nath
03-07-2004, 06:15
Fortunately, Simone have learnt to communicate with Dead People ...She wrote a new book about this subject...and one night , she thought she was "speaking" with her Lovely Pope but , indeed , she was speaking with her new future love : Garfunkel!.....who has the same voice and Frequence than the Pope...

freddie
03-07-2004, 07:16
Unfortunately Garfunkel was gay as well (yes there were gay people in heaven as well! :p) and witheld his long lasting passionate affair with Paul Simon from Simone.

Kate
03-07-2004, 07:31
Fortunately, Simone decided that she needed a break from all the sex she's been having, and was the first woman to not have sex in Heaven. (Yes, sex was a holy act before The Bible was published and brain-washed people that sex was sinful... so God decided that Heaven should be a place where people can have sex without being ashamed.)

nath
03-07-2004, 07:40
Unfortunatey, Simone felt suddendly she wanted to have a baby!!!....How to get a baby without having sex?.....and unfortunately too, she was allergic to the clinical treatement to get a baby with an artificial way !!! :(

luxxi
03-07-2004, 11:48
Fortunatlly God decided to pulla another one of those immaculate conceptions He is famous for and Simone got pregnant after all

:newyear:

nath
03-07-2004, 11:58
Unfortunately, Simone lived her pregnancy in horrible moral conditions!!!! All the paparrazi wanted to know what will be the Family Name of the Future baby...and if Simone will marry with the Father of her baby before or after the birth!....All the tabloïds of the world showed pictures of pregnant Simone on their covers....she was surrounded, assaulted by the Heaven & Earth press and near the nervous breakdown!!!! :bum:

luxxi
03-07-2004, 12:29
Fortunatly her lawyers decided to sue any newspaper that took photos of Simone so soon she was rolling in money

:newyear:

nath
03-07-2004, 12:42
Unfortunatly, as she was rolling in money , Simone had to pay a lot , a LOOOOOTTT of taxes to the State.....so as she was very exasperated by this system, she decided to exile in Monaco or in Switzerland. But her plane was diverted by hijackers and it arrived at Pygmés' Land !
PS: We forgot to precise that Simone was 1m85 without heels!....

Edit: I don't know if the english translation of "Pygmés" is correct: a tribute of very , very short men & women(size) living in the African forrest..

Unplugged
03-07-2004, 13:40
Fortunately, she offered to have sex with the Pygmés and after that they released her and she went to exile in Monaco, where she started to look for a high-society icon who could get her into the classy parties and yacht trips.

crni
03-07-2004, 13:46
unfortunately, in one of her yacht trips, she was so drunk that she fell of a yacht and almost choked in the sea...

Unplugged
03-07-2004, 13:51
Fortunately, a young lesbian mermaid was underwater and rescued her. From that day on, she secretly went sailing alone on her small boat to the location of the mermaid, where she would dive and then make out.

crni
03-07-2004, 14:04
unfortunately, she found out later that she was actually straight so she broke up with the mermaid...

Unplugged
03-07-2004, 14:30
fortunately, she found a rich high-society music producer called Manollo who offered a record deal to sing about gay love between mermaids, in the project t.M.L.t.M. (this Mermaid Loves that Mermaid) :lol:

nath
03-07-2004, 14:50
Unfortunately , I was a "FLOP"!!......an echec....because in the same time , on the tv, there was a serial about the "Odysseus of Ulysse" with Bruce Willis in the role of Ulysse...so EVERYBODY was warned about the danger of the Mermaids songs...and they all had cork in their ears...so nobody could listen the Song about the charm of Marmaid voice from Simone ! ...and no cd was sold!....

crni
03-07-2004, 15:16
fortunately, it's better that way because the cd was the ultimate music trash so the ears of the potential listeners were preserved somewhat healthy :p

luxxi
03-07-2004, 15:22
unfortunatly when you played your CD back you heard location of sunken ship with pirate gold so nobodsy heard that

:newyear:

Unplugged
03-07-2004, 18:58
Fortunately, Simone got support from a wealthy businessman who was thrilled at her new idea: she developped new fashionable dresses inspired by mermaids!

forre
03-07-2004, 19:04
Unfortunately he was thrilled not only about her ideas. :D

luxxi
03-07-2004, 19:29
Fortunatly he was impotent so she didn't mind.

:newyear:

crni
03-07-2004, 19:36
unfortunately her hunger for sex couldn't be forfilled

luxxi
03-07-2004, 20:28
fortunatly they had a handsome gardener

:newyear:

kishkash
03-07-2004, 20:38
unfortunately the gardner wasn't the last in a long string of gardners that had resigned due to being oversexed

crni
03-07-2004, 20:42
fortunately for simone, she hired another one ;)

Unplugged
03-07-2004, 20:48
unfortunately, the new gardener had a heart attack while having sex with Simone, which left her traumatized about having sex outdoors.

crni
03-07-2004, 20:50
fortunately, simone decides that she will never have sex again because she couldn't stand a deadman in her garden :gigi:

luxxi
03-07-2004, 20:50
unfortunatlly she broke her decisions within the hour

:newyear:

nath
03-07-2004, 21:02
Fortunately, she suddenly remembered she wasn't just a SEX person but a BRAIN person too... :blabla:

Unplugged
03-07-2004, 22:01
Unfortunately, this sudden change made her hate herself for the scandalous behaviour of the past years

Kate
03-07-2004, 23:54
Fortunately, God reminded her of her baby, and she realised that she was on her 9th month of pregnancy... (Obviously, she forgot that she was inpregnated by God cuz she was too cought up in her fortunate and unfortunate adventures...)

nath
04-07-2004, 02:30
Unfortunately , she didn't know yet if she would be the mother of a little girl or of a little boy....so she was in the supermarket asking to herself if she had to buy pink or blue clothes for the baby..

Kate
04-07-2004, 03:13
Fortunately the baby was born with the XXXXY syndrome aka Barr-Shaver-Carr syndrome (http://home.earthlink.net/~heinabilene/karyotypes/xxxxy.htm), meaning that the child has both male and female reproductive organs. So now both blue and pink clothes were appropriate.

By the way, the lack of sweat glands is a genetic abnormality called "X-linked anhidrotic dysplasia". Obviously, we infected Simone with this wierd thing. It's funny, but sad.

nath
04-07-2004, 03:38
Unfortunately ,
the lack of sweat glands is a genetic abnormality called "X-linked anhidrotic dysplasia" or, in the vulgar langage ,"X-Files "....so our Simone called MULDER to help her!...

luxxi
04-07-2004, 08:21
unfortunatly Mulder was having wild sex with Dana so he couldn't help her

:newyear:

Kate
04-07-2004, 09:10
Fortunately, at this helpless moment, Simone felt like she wanted to die, so God took her and her child into heaven to live in his penthouse on the 7th Cloud.

luxxi
04-07-2004, 09:57
Unfortunatlly Simone developed unhealthy fear of heights

:newyear:

Kate
04-07-2004, 10:22
Fortunately, God was supervising the reconstruction of Hell, so he, Simone and their child moved "down stairs" for a while.

crni
04-07-2004, 10:46
unfortunately, she couldn't stand the heat so she collapsed after a while

Kate
04-07-2004, 10:50
Fortunately, after a few days of technical problems, the air conditioning was restored at God's temporary house in Hell.

crni
04-07-2004, 10:58
unfortunately, the air conditioner was adjusted to maximum cold so simone almost froze to death

Kate
04-07-2004, 10:59
Fortunately God warmed her up at night with his "golden rain". :gigi:

crni
04-07-2004, 11:03
unfortunately she was too tired to have sex with god and went to sleep :p

Kate
04-07-2004, 11:05
Fortunately, God said, "Let there be sex", and Simone's oestrogen level rised and all she wanted was to have sex. :D

crni
04-07-2004, 11:10
unfortunately just at the moment they wanted to start... the air conditioned broke down so the heat was impossible again and they gave up :gigi:

Kate
04-07-2004, 11:13
Fortunately, God is God, so he cooled the hell out of hell, and the sex games continued. :p

crni
04-07-2004, 11:34
unfortunately the games didn't last long as god was very tired after cooling the hell out of hell :p

Kate
04-07-2004, 11:44
Fortunately while God was asleep, Simone, whose levels of oestrogen (female sex hormone) were still high, sneaked out to the sex party held at the Devil's place.

Unplugged
04-07-2004, 11:49
:lol: WTF?! What the hell happened? I come back here and all of a sudden Simone's in Hell having sex with God?! :lol:

Kate
04-07-2004, 11:54
staringelf, we unleashed Hell! :gigi:

Unplugged
04-07-2004, 11:57
Unfortunately, the sex party at the Devil's place was harcore S&M and Simone got a burning stone shoved up her ass :bum:

luxxi
04-07-2004, 12:01
fortunatly that was her fantasy for a long time

:newyear:

Kate
04-07-2004, 12:01
Unfortunately, God walked in on the sex party... let's just say he wasn't delighted at all.

luxxi
04-07-2004, 12:07
fortunatly some females were available so He was kept busy and didn't complain

:newyear:

Unplugged
04-07-2004, 12:07
Unfortunately, those females who were available had sex diseases

Kate
04-07-2004, 12:11
Fortunately, God created sex diseases, so basically, he was immune to them.

Unplugged
04-07-2004, 12:14
Unfortunately, Simone wasn't, and since she had joined the sex party, she got an annoying itch on her vagina.

Kate
04-07-2004, 12:16
Eeeewww!

Fortunately, after the sex party, God was a little mad at Simone, but soon he forgave her and they had "make up" sex during which her infection was cured.

Unplugged
04-07-2004, 12:20
Unfortunately, God's mother, Mary, heard of his sexual behaviour with Simone and ordered Simone to be banned from Heaven and Hell.

Kate
04-07-2004, 12:22
staringlef, God doesn't have a mother, he always existed (or so they say). It's Jesus who had a mother, Mary, who in turn was inpregnated by God to give birth to Jesus. Do you read your Bible? :heh:

Fortunately, God decided to resign his post as God, and turned himself into a mortal to live with Simone back on Earth.

luxxi
04-07-2004, 12:27
Unfortunatly He was run over by a car as soon as he stepped on earth :(

:newyear:

Unplugged
04-07-2004, 12:30
Kate, God impregnated Mary and then he encarnated in Jesus' body. So Jesus was an encarnation of God. So Mary is kind of like God's mother, since she was the mother of the encarnation of God on Earth - Jesus. ;) You're right, God always existed and officially doesn't have a mother, but in a kind of cute way, the spirit Mary is related to him as a mother figure :p

Fortunately, Simone called a Voodoo Priest who promptly gave God his human life back.

Kate
04-07-2004, 12:33
Unfortunately, Mary (the new female God) couldn't forgive Simone for being the reason God left her, and cast a terrible spell on Simone.

Unplugged
04-07-2004, 12:36
Fortunately, Simone still had contacts with the Devil and, through a psychic who incorportated the Devil's spirit, she asked him to use his powers to disable the terrible spell cast on her by Mary.

Kate
04-07-2004, 12:40
Unfortunately, parts of the spell still remained upon Simone, causing her and God's sex life to be rather dull, so she dumped him for the psychic.

I'm off to bed. Nighty night. :chupa:

Unplugged
04-07-2004, 12:42
Sweet dreams, Kate :D

Unplugged
04-07-2004, 12:43
Fortunately, the psychic was very good in bed, as he received powerful sexual energies from all spirits surrounding him, so Simone felt like she was having sex with the most powerful Sex Gods.

luxxi
04-07-2004, 15:19
Unfortunatly he later decided he was gay.

:newyear:

crni
04-07-2004, 15:27
fortunately simone got herself a huge dildo to keep her entertained :D

luxxi
04-07-2004, 15:33
unfortunatlly psychic stole it

:newyear:

Unplugged
04-07-2004, 16:19
Fortunately, Simone reported it to the Police and they arrested the psychic and gave her the dildo back.

crni
04-07-2004, 16:36
unfortunately, it wasn't the same shape as before... :p

Unplugged
04-07-2004, 16:56
Fortunately, that made Simone think about her life:
"Look at this. Not even my dildo is the same it used to be anymore. I have to change too. I'm tired of being sexual."
So Simone went on a spiritual retreat in India

crni
04-07-2004, 16:58
unfortunately, she ordered beef (by mistake) in one restaurant and people beat the hell out of her :gigi:

Unplugged
04-07-2004, 17:01
Fortunately, Simone asked for guidance to the Hindu Gods, who told her she should go inside a cave in the mountains where a secret holy tribe would heal her soul so she would stop being so sexual and sinful :gigi:

crni
04-07-2004, 17:05
unfortunately, the hindu gods weren't aware that a secret holy tribe changed their lifestiyle so as soon as simone got there they raped the poor woman :bum:

luxxi
04-07-2004, 17:27
fortunatly God came to rescue and beat the crap out of Hindu gods

:newyear:

crni
04-07-2004, 17:35
unfortunately, it wasn't hindu god's fault but the secret holy tribe's... so the innocent ones got beaten up again :p

luxxi
04-07-2004, 17:38
fortunatly God didn't care much

:newyear:

Unplugged
04-07-2004, 17:42
:lol:

Unfortunately, Simone got depressed, but the Hindu Gods didn't mind God's stupidity and told Simone they were sorry for their mistakes and sent her to meet the Dalai Lama.

crni
04-07-2004, 17:47
fortunately for dalai lama, he had much more serious things to do than talk to simone, which he considered to be quite borring... :p

luxxi
04-07-2004, 17:53
unfortunatly Simone got p/o so she threw him off a rock

:newyear:

crni
04-07-2004, 17:56
fortunately he has magical powers so he just flew away

Unplugged
04-07-2004, 17:56
:eek:

Unfortunately, Simone was arrested.

crni
04-07-2004, 17:59
fortunately they let her go because noone was hurt

Unplugged
04-07-2004, 18:17
Unfortunately, with all this stress Simone noticed she was sweating a lot, so she thought: "I know, I'll just go back to America and finally try to sweat a lot making porn movies!"

crni
04-07-2004, 18:24
fortunately she got a great deal on the movies so she was finally happy ;)

Unplugged
04-07-2004, 18:28
Unfortunately, due to her enormous success, the producers asked her to star in lots of porn movies, shoot movie after movie, and with all that pressure she started to eat a lot and got fat.

crni
04-07-2004, 18:35
fortunately, the fatties porn movies really became famous so she was earning even more money :p

Unplugged
04-07-2004, 18:38
:lol:

Unfortunately, since she was winning lots of money, her greedy agent charged her 25% or else he would create a scandal and she would be kicked out of the porn industry.

crni
04-07-2004, 18:41
fortunately, simone hired some bouncers to beat the hell out of her agent and they "accidently" removed him from the face of the earth :bum:

Unplugged
04-07-2004, 18:46
:laugh:

Unfortunately, some tabloid reporter later found out about the story and Simone got a very bad reputation in the media for getting rid of her agent like that: "Former Holy Hooker turns into Violent Porn Slut!"

crni
04-07-2004, 18:53
fortunately, she had sooo much money so she bribed the tabloide to deny all the bad things they wrote about her :kwink:

luxxi
04-07-2004, 20:02
unfortunatly they screwed her over, took her money and didn't deny a thing.

:newyear:

crni
04-07-2004, 20:38
fortunately, they had a guilty conscious and decided to deny the whole thing after all :kwink:

luxxi
04-07-2004, 20:50
unfortunatly guilty concience lasted only a short time so nothing was published :)

:newyear:

crni
04-07-2004, 20:53
fortunately, she agreed to have sex with every single employee of the tabloid so they published the denial after all :p

luxxi
04-07-2004, 20:59
unfortunatly when they were printing the newspaper printing house burned down so this isue wasn't sold at all :no:

:newyear:

crni
04-07-2004, 21:04
fortunately she decided to move to australia to live with the native citizens there as she couldn't find a way to make the tabloid print the fcuking denial :bebebe: :p

Kate
04-07-2004, 22:06
Unfortunately, all the native citizens in Australia were huge fans of Simone (cuz she was a famous porn star), and they knew every single bit of information about her ever published in newspapers/magazines (just like we do about Tatu)...

crni
04-07-2004, 22:26
fortunately, some crazy man from the airplane dropped an empty coca cola bottle which stroke her in the head and she didn't care anymore about her "reputation" :p

Unplugged
04-07-2004, 22:44
Unfortunately, her fans stalked her and reminded her of her reputation once again

Kate
04-07-2004, 22:46
Fortunately, while she was having her reputation broken, Mary took God back and return his power as God back to him, so he took Simone back up to heaven.

crni
04-07-2004, 22:54
unfortunately, since she already was in heaven before, she was rather bored this time...

Unplugged
04-07-2004, 22:56
Fortunately, in Heaven she met the spirit of a pirate who told her where to find a treasure on Earth, and so Simone asked God for authorization to go back to Earth,.

luxxi
04-07-2004, 23:04
unfortunatly Gon said no

:newyear:

kishkash
04-07-2004, 23:07
fortunately...GOD said yes ;)

Unplugged
04-07-2004, 23:09
:lol:

Unfortunately, God was diagnosed schizophrenia for having saying "Yes" and "No" randomly

Kate
04-07-2004, 23:15
Fortunately, Simone didn't care, and as soon as God said "yes" she was gone back to Earth to find that treasure. :D

Unplugged
04-07-2004, 23:19
Unfortunately, Simone didn't have good orientation and couldn't figure out the map to the treasure, so she felt really desperate without any help from experts in treasure hunting.

luxxi
04-07-2004, 23:23
fortunatly just as she was getting really depressed a group of unemployed treasure hunting experts came along

:newyear:

Unplugged
04-07-2004, 23:38
Unfortunately, they only came cause they heard about her being a porn star and are planning to screw her and steal the money

Kate
04-07-2004, 23:39
Fortunately, the three treasure hunters, (Bill, Phil and Will) looked and the map and decided that they first location to look at will be Hawai, and Simone loved Hawai.

Unplugged
05-07-2004, 02:59
Unfortunately, they managed to give Simone a drink which had a drug that put her to sleep, while they were digging the treasure in Hawai

Kate
05-07-2004, 03:04
Fortunately, Hawai only had a new clue to the next clue and so on, thus ultimately leading them to the location of the treasure...

Unplugged
05-07-2004, 03:11
Unfortunately, Bill, Phil and Will all gave the wrong clues to Simone to confuse her.

luxxi
05-07-2004, 08:21
fortunatly Simone realised they were lying

:newyear:

Kate
05-07-2004, 08:42
Unfortunately Simone met a NSA (National Security Agentcy) agent, who led her to treasures beyong her wildest imagination...

luxxi
05-07-2004, 08:48
fortunatly Simone seduced NSA agent and escaped with treasure herself

:newyear:

Kate
05-07-2004, 09:33
Unfortunately, she accidently locked the key incide the treasure chest during the seduction...

luxxi
05-07-2004, 10:31
fortunatly expert burglar just hapened to come along and he offered to break into chest for her

:newyear:

Kate
05-07-2004, 10:34
Unfortunately he wanted her to do her signature sex trick with him (which is too complex to explain) in return, and Simone was already too old to bend and jump around in bed like she used to in her porn movies (she was in her 50s).

luxxi
05-07-2004, 10:40
fortunatlay he convinced to do it anyway. :yes:

:newyear:

Kate
05-07-2004, 10:41
Unfortunately Simone cracked quite a few bones and streched quite a few muscles during the act, so all the money she got out of the treasure chest went for her reconstruction surgery...

luxxi
05-07-2004, 10:45
fortunatly she met a cute nurse when recovering so she felt it was worth it.

:newyear:

Kate
05-07-2004, 10:49
Unfortunately, the young nurse rejected Simone cuz she was too old.

luxxi
05-07-2004, 10:55
fortunatly Simone got nurse drunk and they had sex

:newyear:

Kate
05-07-2004, 11:10
Unfortunately the nurse committed suicide when she found out that she and Simone had sex...

I'm going to bed... G'night!

luxxi
05-07-2004, 12:07
fortunatly Simone found out that nechrophilia is a thing for her as well :kwink: :liplick:

:newyear:

crni
05-07-2004, 12:50
unfortunately, soon after that she got arrested and sent to St.Quentin jail :gigi:

luxxi
05-07-2004, 14:21
fortunatly there she met a lot of nice prisoners and she couldn't wait for the first shower

:newyear:

Unplugged
05-07-2004, 14:32
Unfortunately, the first shower wasn't quite as she expected, as several prisoners shoved the shower pipes up her ass! :eek:

luxxi
05-07-2004, 16:11
fortunatly that was another of her long time fantasies :yes:

:newyear:

teeny
05-07-2004, 16:22
unfortunatly it hurt when :none: (*plop*) for a while afterwards :p

Unplugged
05-07-2004, 16:24
Fortunately, Simone still had money so she hired a private doctor to heal her in prison.

luxxi
05-07-2004, 16:25
unfortunatly he didn't heal her but onyl had sex with her

:newyear:

Kate
05-07-2004, 22:20
Fortunately, Simone's long lost psychiatrist lover turned up, argued her case and got her out of jail under one condition: she has to attend his clinic once a day.

teeny
05-07-2004, 22:27
unfortunatly she needed more than just one visit pr day to improve

crni
05-07-2004, 22:31
fortunately, she had no problem with that

Kate
05-07-2004, 22:39
Unfortunately, she could not resist the fact that she and the doctor had quite a bit of chemistry going on... he was in his 60s, she was in her 50s...

teeny
05-07-2004, 22:42
fortunately both were young at heart so age didn't really matter much

Kate
05-07-2004, 22:44
Unfortunately, both had a heart condition and died during sex. :( No more Simone. :cry:

Can't believe I just killed Simone... :cry: :cry: Let's have a moment of silence, all of us... :none: Ok, done! Moving on! :coctail:

crni
05-07-2004, 22:46
fortunately, god came (once again) and said: "Let there be simone!" and there was simone! (again) :p

don't worry kate! she's fine again ;)

Kate
05-07-2004, 22:47
Unfortunately, there she was... dead... so God flew her up for the very first (and probably the last) funeral ever held in Heaven...

crni, unfortunately, I am doing the "unfortunately" side of the story, so it looks like I'll be killing and you'll be reviving Simone for the next few posts... :gigi:

crni
05-07-2004, 22:49
fortunately, god got some new magical book with all sorts of tricks so he found a way to make simone alive ;)

yeah, it's looks like it :gigi: but i've done many unfortunately's so it's my turn for the fortunately's :p

teeny
05-07-2004, 22:54
unfortunatly she had no memories of her previous adventures

Unplugged
05-07-2004, 22:54
Fortunately, Simone's spirit was unbalanced but when she came back alive on Earth she woke up in a desert island and had much time to think about who she was and what had happened

crni
05-07-2004, 22:58
unfortunately, the blackout was too strong so she remembered nothing :(