View Full Version : Tell a Fairy Tale: "Once upon a time..."

19-06-2004, 22:18
Okey, here's an old idea, let's all make a fairy tale! You know how it goes, every person tells a little bit (not too much) which sticks with what the previous people have said and so on.

1). Keep the story as clean and megical as possible. No sex, no uneccessary drug abuse, no verbal abuse etc. You get the picture.
2).The person who ends the story loses the game.

I'll start:

Once upon a time, in a country "Far Far Away", there was a huge castle near a purple lake...

19-06-2004, 22:19
where an old woman by the name Hilda lived, the last of the orange unicorn caretakers...

19-06-2004, 22:21
Hilda was a well known genetics engeneerer, a career banned from "Far Far Away"... she was a time bomb just waiting to happen...

19-06-2004, 22:23
She had already started experemtation to create the ultimate flying unicorn that could be used by boeing as a superior jet liner for long overseas flights.

19-06-2004, 22:23
...She lived in peace, experimenting and going through different challenges, until the dark day where she faced a dangerous threat. The castle was being attacked by one hideous man named Tsen Tsen, who couldn't stop drooling and swearing at the same time!

19-06-2004, 22:27
This evil Tsen Tsen, a genetic experiment from the late 70s gone wrong, had lived in hiding as a hermaphrodyte for many years honing his special 'skills' to be able to one day face his nemesis and creator...Hilda...the unicorn caretaker.

LMFAO!! :lol:

19-06-2004, 22:29
...Tsen Tsen had gathered a troop of hermaphrodytes like him to kill Hilda and take over the castle.

19-06-2004, 22:29
A few years ago, Tsen Tsen fell in love with Hilda's daughter, Amber, after seeing her bath in the purple lake. She was the prettiest young woman ever to walk the ground of "Far Far Away". Needless to say she loved unicorns. :rolleyes:

19-06-2004, 22:32
But Amber didn't want Tsen Tsen. As soon as she found out he was a terrible ugly hermaphrodite, she managed to ban him from "Far Far Away". He left peacefully but swore he would come back for revenge! And he did :eek: :grustno:

19-06-2004, 22:34
Tsen Tsen was wrought with anger from his unrequieted love amber, for whom he pined. For in the land of "far far away" genetic creations and 'real people' were unable to llive together as woman and hermaphrodyte for the marriage certificates had not yet put the checkbox 'other' under Spouse.

19-06-2004, 22:36
Tsen tsen has saved up money for years to get a good army to attack the castle, but at the last minut he spent it all by going to Hilda's plastic surgery clinic for a face life. Now all he had was an army of hermaphrodites. ANYWAY, as Tsen Tsen's army closed in on the castle....

19-06-2004, 22:39
He/she/the noticed a loud and high pitched drone, not unlike the sound of a large group of angry feather tailed orange unicorns getting ready to fly en mass. Could it be? ...

19-06-2004, 22:41
could it be that tsen tsen had also had a sex change and was now a lesbian stalker, after hildas daughter

19-06-2004, 22:42
... Hilda released her strong orange unicorns to confront Tsen Tsen and his army. The army was beaten by the unicorns and Tsen Tsen asked Hilda for mercy: "Please, it's enough that I'm fucking ugly and demented, I don't want to die today!"

19-06-2004, 22:43
tsen tsen was forced by hilda, to change his sex, and enter her harem [the ugly section] and to have sex with all the other uglies

19-06-2004, 22:43
But to Tsen Tsen's dismay, his features had been altered to that of Hilda's, so convincingly so, that he can now pass as her. [a true oddity among oddities]

19-06-2004, 22:46
hilda decided it wasnt bad enough that tsen be ugly, but decided to make as many people in the ugly harem, look like tsen tsen had. he also had kitchen duty every single day ... poor thing

19-06-2004, 22:53
Amber got tired of Tsen Tsen's presence in the castle, so she turned him into a bug and squashed him. He was dead, or was he?

But Amber and Hilda didn't have time to worry about Tsen Tsen's well being, they had to get ready for the annual "Far Far Away" royal ball. And Amber had a personal invitation for Prince Charming himself.

Veggie Delite
19-06-2004, 22:54
he peed in hilda's tee every morning, and that eased his pain a little

gah...i'm late. put this before kate's post...

19-06-2004, 23:00
A REMINDER: Please, let's try to keep this story as megical and clean as possible. It can be funny without mentioning the toilet related topics and swearing. Please, try to understand and keep to the guidelines.

19-06-2004, 23:02
lo and behold. the prince charming was really tsen tsen. it was his clone that had been squashed as a bug !

as amber made loving eyes at "prince charming" across the dance floor, they both found a broom closet to kiss in.

as amber kissed the prince, he turned into tsen tsen ... OH HORROR !

19-06-2004, 23:05
Everybody in the room was shocked, and Amber started puking. Tsen Tsen suffered the humiliation of his life. One guest said "I can't believe such a classy lady like Amber could even consider such an awful creature! And to think he could fool us as pretending to be a prince! You should punish him for good!"

19-06-2004, 23:07
tsen tsen magically changed into the prince again and shouted "april fools!"

but it was too late, everyone thought he was just a huge LAMER for being a cad and trying to make it an april fools joke in the middle of june ! :bebebe:

19-06-2004, 23:12
Everybody agreed on one thing "Tsen Tsen has to be punished for good".

"You shall need my assistance, fellow Far Far Away citizens. I shall punish that Tsen Tsen with my supernatural powers!" - the voice came from the garden outside. It was a witch, Oakapukova, who had arrived in "Far Far Away", and was ready to be at Hilda's kingdom's service.

19-06-2004, 23:13
Now with Tsen Tsen for ever out of the way, Amber could live in peace with her Unicorns. Until one day, a few months later, Hilda hired a lake-boy to clean the lake. He was the cutest guy Amber has seen yet...

19-06-2004, 23:14
Oakapukova wasnt very popular ... her name was hard to pronounce ... and whenever anyone called on her, she was too busy getting drunk with hilda and amber to give a toss about helping others out. damned foreigners

19-06-2004, 23:16
Amber never got drunk, though. She hated alcohol. But while her mother was getting drunk, she liked to go and bath in the purple lake in peace...

People, common, can we avoid getting our characters drunk? Please... The story is supposed to be MAGICAL!! :(

19-06-2004, 23:18
While a sip of some classy magical wine, Oakapukova said "Oh, I'm sorry, Hilda, look at old magical me, I'm here getting drunk with you, and I should be preparing a magic potion to take care of that evil Tsen Tsen".
"Dont worry, dear. Let's appreciate this moment. You can take care of him later tomorrow. The unicorns are guarding his cell downstairs in the barn, together with the pigs, that's where he belongs!", said Hilda.
"Oh, mother! I just had an idea! Why doesn't Oakapukova make a magic potion to make Tsen Tsen turn into some sort of disgusting animal we could quickly get rid of?", Amber Said. "And please, stop getting drunk you two! That is just vulgar", she finally said.

19-06-2004, 23:21
But when Amber "made up" in front of her mirror to meet the Charming Prince at the Ball, she suddendly saw her face beeing transformed: the beautiful Amber was changed in an horrible hug!!!....Horror!!!....She loved so much the Charming Prince , in secret !....He was her dreams for long, long years...and now she had this invitation, she couldn't seduce him!...Tragedy!...The Charming Prince never could love a such physicaly horrible person...even if , inside she knew she was the same Little Amber!....so , she was crying a lot...when ...suddendly...
Edit: Sorry.....this game isn't for me....too slow in typing...hi-hi..

19-06-2004, 23:24
While a sip of some classy magical wine... That's more like it. Thanks, staringelf.

Amber stormed out of the room covering her ugly face with her delicate hands [Edited to fit sunwalk's line]. The lake-boy has whitnessed the whole scene and an evil smile appeared on his face. His rubbed his hands together, and whispered into his walkie-talkie: "The plan is well underway, Teacher."

19-06-2004, 23:24
tsen tsen was barking orders at the guards in the cell when suddenly he became an ugly animal . and that was the end of tsen tsen the second time around - first the squashed bug who was a decoy, now he really was a laughing stock [hee haw he turned into a donkey. and not a cute one]

amber meanwhile went for a dip in the purple lake ... and espied the poolboy staring at her longingly. seeing as she was a REAL tease [she was even making eyes at the drunk witch whom she found both disgusting for getting drunk but damn was she hot !] she decided she stood a better chance at snagging the poolboy who was cuter anyway ...

and under her breath she chanted a love mantra ...

19-06-2004, 23:26
sunwalk, sorry, but I'll have to agree :laugh: :rose: that was way too late ;)

19-06-2004, 23:28
Meanwhile, in the castle, Hilda and her witch friend realised that the spell they cast on Tsen tsen (which destroyed him) also somehow applied to Amber's face. This could only mean one thing: tsen Tsen and Amber were genetically related...

sunwalk, it's OK. I managed to squeeze your storyline into the fairy tale. Now it has a twist. :heh: Make sure you refresh the story before posting, next time.

19-06-2004, 23:30
Amber ran into the Oakapulova's room for help: "Please, witch, you have to try a new spel to make me beautiful again. I have to conquer that lake boy!"
"Well, let's see what we can do here. One rotten egg, 2 bottles of magical african wine, a little bit of ginger and 7 golden teeth. Okwsmaha shtoapalala - make this woman pretty is Alla!"
"Oh, it worked", Amber screamed.
"Yes, dear. It's done. Now go get that lake boy".

Amber went back to the purple lake for a swim.

The lake boy approached Amber near the lake and she started blushing.
"Hello there, miss!"
"Well... hello, lake boy. What's your name?"
"Patrikulus! I'm Greek"
"Oh... I always loved Greece. Maybe you could take me there some day. But now, how about having a nice swim with me here in the purple lake?"
"Sure, miss!", he said, while taking off his clothes, while Amber started drooling - got thing she was in the water and no one noticed it.

19-06-2004, 23:30
tsen tsen and hilda had had an affair many years ago ! -- now this dirty dark secret was out !

hilda appealed to the witch for a spell to fix all of this. the witch said she was powerless to halt the forces of time or bid them bend to her will ...

oh hell ...

19-06-2004, 23:35
Hilda quickly cast a simple spell on Amber to make her forget that she was ugly. She and Oaka (Hilda's nick name for her witch friend) started to work on the potion to return Amber's beauty.

Meanwhile, the lake-boy had to pretend there was nothing wrong with Amber's face. What was the lake-boys plan for Amber? Stay tuned...

19-06-2004, 23:37
So Hilda had to face the facts and tell Amber about her secret affair with ugly Tsen Tsen many years ago. But when she approached the purple lake, Amber was busy giving lake boy Patrikulus a big wet kiss!

Kate, Amber was already magically turned beautiful by Oaka in my previous post! lol ;)

19-06-2004, 23:42
The poor lake boy was holding back his nausea when Amber finally stopped kiising him.

As all of this was happening, in a country "Even More Far Far Away", the Teacher smoked his cigar and whispered a devilish spell under his cigar-breath...

20-06-2004, 01:37
amber suddenly felt something weird happening to her body ! she was turning into ... tsen tsen junior before poolboy ! [again]

poolboy cursed the teacher under his breath [what a waste of a pretty girl]

as ambers warts began to multiply, everything froze. she noticed she was the only one who was still moving. even the trees had stopped rustling. too bad the warts hadnt paid attention to the freeze, pretty soon her face wouldnt be recognisable.

she noticed an opening in the lake ... walked through it and found herself in "even more far away land" and face to face with the teacher ...

"welcome amber ... i have huge plans for you my dear ..." he said as he restored her looks.

*cue drum roll and suspense music*

*bugs bunny appears on screen*

oops, wrong studio, sorry folks!


20-06-2004, 01:45
Whist Amber was merveling her newly returned features, now smooth and no longer covered in warts, the Teacher had somehow forgotten the whole plan and what he was to do.

Some time passed and Amber stood in front of the Teacher awaiting an explanation...however the teacher had himself been placed under some spell and was stooped over acting rather peculiarly.

The teacher had in fact adopted the mannurisms of a chicken. He was circling the perimiter of Amber's feet and pecking at the ground around her and clucking.

...what had happened to the Teacher, and how was Amber going to make it out of the middle of the lake frozen in time?

20-06-2004, 01:50
amber decided to break out into song ! maybe if she sang high enough the frozen lake would crack and she would be saved.

she started singing ...

"chicken! check out the chicken !"

nothing happened ... the ice seemed to mock her.

then she started singing "how funky is your chicken how funky is your chicken, how loose is your goose, how loose is your goose. how funky is your chicken how funky is your chicken, now shake your caboose"

till a booming voice from nowhere cried

"stop damnit !!!! you CANNOT sing ! ill crack the ice for you if you agree to shut up !"

she duly went silent and the ice cracked ....

suddenly BOOM -- the teachers pet appeared out of nowhere, still holding the teacher-chickens strings ... pulling to no avail. no reaction was forthcoming.

"what am i going to do with you, meddling girl ?" said the teachers-pet to amber

amber shook in her boots and wailed ...


20-06-2004, 02:21
Amber stared at the teachers-pet and as he pointed a radioactive-green stick at her. She tried to calm herself. But the teachers-pet put her in a glass-cage, and started to dress up in some sort of wierd pink-blue outfit that looked like sleeping-wear.

“Che fiasco,” Amber thought thought, remembering her high-school Italian. Held hostage by an armed man in pajamas. Then, she heard rustling in the far corner of the cage, and a handsome stallion emerged...

He said to her in English, "I am the Prince of 'Mariland'. A family curse is upon us. I'll explain later. I can get us out of here, but I need your help. Although it's almost impossible to do. We have to hurry, listen to me..."



20-06-2004, 19:40

20-06-2004, 22:42
Common guys. It was fun!

So, while teachers-pet was dressing up in the wierd pajamas, the phone rang...

"Hello?" said the teachers-pet. "Yes, I've been waiting for you to call."


21-06-2004, 11:09
teachers pet grabbed amber and they started to do the cha-cha ra-ra and the tango ! oh bebe !

21-06-2004, 21:08
:o first try here! :flag:

Amber got so dizzy on the spin that she vomited all over the teachers pet

21-06-2004, 21:55
I guess starting this thread was a bad idea... :(

22-06-2004, 08:36
teachers pet magically made the barf disappear. amber was so grateful. teachers pet also magically transported her to a basin with pretty soaps and a mirror and some make up so that she could fix herself up and feel fresh. whilst cleaning up, amber espied a very old book of magic that her mother told her had been missing from their family for generations !

next teachers pet turned into ... TSEN-TSEN ...

"muhaha i have come back from beyond to take my revenge on you and your mother !"


what WILL amber do now ? ...

kate, just go with it :) im sure we can take it somewhere :)

22-06-2004, 16:01
Amber screamed at the top of her lungs with this really really squeaky voice. "Tsen-tseeeennnhhhh!!!" :eek: She looked around, to try to find a way to escape out of there, but she feared it was much too late. Tsen-Tsen was getting closer and closer to her, and suddenly everything turned black...

22-06-2004, 16:16
tsen tsens stink bomb had exploded. as amber and tsen-squared both gagged and tried to breathe, amber made a dive for the old family magic book, lost for so many generations !

she opened it up and started chanting the first spell she saw ....

what WILL happen next ?! :eek:

22-06-2004, 22:52
Suddenly, the Earth's gravity field strength decreased, and everyone floated in the air.

"Get back here, you!" cried Tsen Tsen, desperately waving his arms and legs in the air, trying to move closer to Amber.

"Get over it, Tsen Tsen." said Amber. She freed the magic-handsome-stallion (with the help of her own little fairy wings located on her wrists) from the glass cage and they both flew away to place the magic book where it belongs.

What they didn't know is that the book will never reach it's destination...