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ypsidan04
11-03-2004, 04:43
WHY ATHLETES CAN'T HAVE REAL JOBS:


Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: "I wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan' all the kids to copulate me."

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New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season: "I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."

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And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skins say: "I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl," Matt Millen of the Raiders said: "To win, I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."

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Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins: "He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings."

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Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann, 1996: "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."

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Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh: "I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes." (now that is beautiful)

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Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You guys line up alphabetically by height." And, "You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle."

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Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again with promoter Don King: "Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton."

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Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker: "That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."

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Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is."

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Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: "My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt." (I wonder if his IQ ever hit room temperature in January)

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Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I told him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'"

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Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four F's and one D: "Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject

shizzo
11-03-2004, 05:14
Saaaaad. :D

thegurgi
11-03-2004, 06:13
oh, i can not remove the grin from my face.... hahahahaha

thanks Ypsidan

Veggie Delite
11-03-2004, 15:13
geeze... :none:

teeny
11-03-2004, 15:22
LMAO :D

*Prepares to copy/paste the best ones to msn later*

Unplugged
11-03-2004, 17:01
LOL When I first looked, I thought I had read "Why athletes can't have real boobs" :laugh: Then I was like "Doh! JOBS!..."

Anyway, thanks, that was funny

"He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is."

:laugh: That's such a typical line for dumb jocks!

ypsidan04
12-03-2004, 04:31
Something that was omitted from the list:

"I don't remember the names of the clubs we went to"

- Los Angeles Laker Shaquille O'Neal, when asked if he visited the Parthenon while in Greece

luxxi
17-03-2004, 17:46
Originally posted by staringelf
LOL When I first looked, I thought I had read "Why athletes can't have real boobs" :laugh: Then I was like "Doh! JOBS!..."

Somebody has fixation on something......

:newyear:

ypsidan04
23-03-2004, 02:57
More stupid sayings, but not sports related. We could turn this into a dumb quotes thread. Check out the rest of this site too. It's real good. :)

http://www.digitalbitterness.com/modules/news/article.php?storyid=122

freddie
23-03-2004, 10:04
20. "You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid."
--from a guest directory at a Japanese hotel, 1991

LMAO!! Those Japanese people always make me laugh. :D

taty994945
25-03-2004, 07:39
haha they were great! :p