View Full Version : ~The sin ofconfession ~

14-12-2003, 12:48
Her footfall echoed in the huge cathedral as she walked down the long isles of pews. The cold flagstone floors absorbing the sounds of her tennis shoes treading on sacred ground. She had come for confession.
Her heart vibrated in her chest as approached the large ominous confessional booths.
Religion. Sex. Morality. All of this pulsed inside of the young red head's mind. Even at nineteen she struggled with everything inside of her but she still had given into temptation. It was instantaneous she was no longer in the cold hollowed building but carried away to another time, and another place.
The way her back had pressed into the hard bark of the tree biting into her back the light from the canopy of leaves up above filtering down over her warm skin as she stroked the delicate curve of Yulia's neck feeling the pulse under her finger tips. Slowly moving to push through the tangle of short untamed ebony locks.
How could this be a sin? To touch her. To feel love?
She choked back a sob of regret as she wrapped her small hand around the door handle. How could she do this confess a sin she didn't regret? She felt the salt burn down her checks making her wonder if would turn to blood and become a mortal wound. The cross she held between her fingers dug into her hand almost puncturing the delicate white skin. Opening her hand she looked down at her palm seeing the indentation of the cross. She was a marked woman of sin.

14-12-2003, 13:28
Wind barreled through the tight weave of the denim knee length coat and Yulia Volkova shivered again as she paced up and down in front of the church. The cigarette between her beautiful glossed lips. She took another deep drag into her compressed lungs already struggling to breath.
Still trying to comprehend what had happened yesterday. It had gone beyond the statue of limitations. For four years they had been pressing their lips against the others, holding hands all for the sake of Tatu. And the lies had nearly destroyed them.
Neither one had been a lesbian. They still weren't.
"Then why aren’t you in the church keeling beside her confessing too?"
The voice in Yulia's mind taunted and she shut it out. And anger and rage seethed inside of her.
"Because love isn't a sin.” she muttered under her breath as she withdrew her forth cigarette from her pocket and lit it with the red embers of her third. Yulia had done things in her life. Not things she necessarily regretted. She didn't believe in regret. In life it was busy just enough to get through the day much less lugging the past with you. No, She didn't regret but, there were lingering moments were she wished things would be different. Trapped in half truth and whole lies.
Taking another breath of nicotine she let out her angst.
"Damn Ivan."
So much had happened reality pushing into the little bubble of their life of tatu. But that didn't matter. Sin counted for nothing most truth in everyone's life was based on lies.
Breathing she climbed the stairs to the chapel doors.
Taking a breath.
There was only her life.

14-12-2003, 17:04
oh nice .. is this a new fanfic ?

*lights a cigarette* ..thanks for the reminder :D


Veggie Delite
15-12-2003, 00:35
sounds very interesting :)

18-12-2003, 02:44
sounds like you took a few pointers from the ever so "loved" documentary.
personally i like the realness of both this and the documentary. reality is reality and we just have to live w/ it.

i like this.

31-12-2003, 12:19
California, early 2003
~ Catch me as I fall, say your here and its all over now~

The sobs shook Yulia's body. The racking tears making her ribcage hurt as her entire body surrendered to the welcome at its only chance at release. God it hurt. It hurt so bad she could barely take it. She was a strong person but, God she could only take so much before she broke.
The tears didn't stop and the pressure continued to press on her small frame almost suffocating her.
There was no delay or hesitation as she dumped her make up case over the vanity and sink her body trembling as she found what she was looking for and sat on the toilet lid. Watching as the thin silver needle pushed into the vein. It was more than just the drug. It was stability something she could count on. Slowly she pushed down on the plastic tip forcing the drug into her body.
In a world of uncertainty.
Were war could break out in Russia.
Lena could quite Tatu and confess everything.
Ivan could drop them.
Her voice could go.
Everything was fleeting.
Some of the tension eased out of her body and once again Yulia felt as if she could deal for atleast one more day.
There was at least one thing she could count on.

Lena's knees began to ache from the hard wooden stool under her knees as her head rested on the padded ledge before her. She had already said six hail mary's but, still she felt sick. Tainted by things she didn't understand. That is why she had started to take physcology. Maybe if she understood the world better it would help in relation to her. Or maybe it would only make her loose her mind more.
and know she was kneeling on the floor of a church waiting for a preist to tell her what she already knew.
She was sinning aginst God. Yulia had laughed,as had Ivan when she told them about her nightmares, the constant fear that seemed to be ingrained into her soul. It was so easy to do something you regret and feel bad about it , than it was to be free.
The documetry had aired. The truth exposed. Some people had been happy about the change- it was simply another dimsion that made them part of this all encompusing craze. For others it had broken their heart as Lena knew all to well. There was no way she could have known that at fourteen years old it would have cuased a big a reaction as it did, that people would see her and Yulia and think that they were really gay. More Pressure built up in her stomach till it felt knotted and tight forming a ball of pain. Even know It was hard to understand how fans had reacted. She had wanted to perform, to sing about something that would be diffrent. Love had been done a thousand times over -but love between women hadn't. So she had done it. And at nineteen she had even a less understanding about herself than she did at fourteen. She loved Yulia maybe not in the way people and the media wanted her too. But she did.
Blinking back the welling tears her dark head jerked up as the confessional door open and shadowed in the light was Yulia.
" Yulia are you doing here?" Lena hissed her voice so low it was almost saying Yulia's name would damn her soul. The door shut behind Yulia leaving them both in the darkness only shadows and the thin light from under the door giving them blackness any relief.
"Why else would I be in a church? I'm here because of you." Yulia fell to her knees beside her. Her own eyes closed despite the shadows- she could smell Lena and could see the blood red curls framing her pale face. Dry rivulets had smeared her mascara leaving long streaks down her face. Unable to help herself Yulia touched her face with the back of her fingers, Lena almost flinched.
"Don't" her voice was a tormented whisper
"Why can't I touch you?"
Lena's voice became strained.
"Because its a sin."
"How can it be a sin to love someone? How does God care who we love as long as it someone?" Yulia raged her hands squeezing hard into Lena's shoulders.
"Because it's not love! It's lust! Lena screamed jerking herself away from Yulia's arms unable to stand being that close to her, still feeling the way she did. For fucks sakes she was tainted. She couldn't do this.
"Maybe just from your side!" Yulia replied "But I love you"
"You love Pasha, and Marsha! My God Yulia you have a boyfriend and a girlfriend - at one point at the same time! And yet you still were "with me" or so the world thought."
Yulia flinched- this was one of those moments she wished were different.
Pasha and Marsha.
"I know." Yulia replied what else could she say?
"I just haven't been able to stop thinking about you, I have dreams about you Lena, about us."
A hand touched her waist drawing her closer a soft sob choked Lena.
Something happened in that instant were it went beyond caring about what was "morally right" and what had become expected. They weren't doing it for the cameras or for the fans.
On the floor of the confessional Yulia's hands slid under Lena's black sweater cupping the full swells of her breasts in her hands her fingers brushing over the swelling peaks. Lena's moaned as she tore at Yulia's shirt desperate to touch what she had thought lost. Clothes began to scatter like the ripped pages of a bible falling uselessly to the floor. Leaving hands to brush bare skin.
"Yulia!" Lena repeated her name again and again feeling her Lover shudder each time in response as she licked Lena's mouth tangling her hands in the windswept curls pulling and jerking the auburn corkscrews enlisting another sharp cry from Lena. Yulia couldn't breath as she Lena returned the touch for touch, her mouth brushing against hers, her tongue stroking the inside of her mouth, sucking gently on her tongue - doing the exact things Yulia hand dreamed of so often. Yulia's back arched as Lena's hands stroked down her spine feeling the velvet touch of her skin.
"Please" Lena replied hot against her ear, like a whispered prayer.
Neither of them could wait any longer pressing a hand between Lena's damp thighs her thumb brushed through the folds of her silken skin against her clit Lena's hips trust off the floor meeting Yulia's touch. Her fingers slid into her body and Lena was lost. The pleasure broke out in a startling liquid tremor, and again Yulia's hands worked her harder enlisting another muffled scream as she buried her head against Yulia's fragrant skin. Letting Yulia worship her.

Veggie Delite
31-12-2003, 14:35
glad u continued this :rose:

very good chapter, very good written. (imho)

31-12-2003, 19:59
*stands in applause*

there is nothing else to say but excellent!

31-12-2003, 21:10

01-01-2004, 16:43
mmmmmmm "letting yulia worship her"

can i be next in line? ;)


30-07-2004, 20:40
omg if ur next in line im totally after!!!