View Full Version : TATU LOVES THE EIGHTIES a fanfic

08-12-2003, 02:11
Hello. This is my second fanfic, but the first one I’ve posted here. I’ve decided to mix eighties movies with t.A.T.u. Don’t ask me why it just came to me one day when I was in history class. I have a bunch of different eighties movies that I’m doing spoofs of and each chapter is going to be a new movie. I hope it doesn’t suck. Later. Laura.

The first movie spoof is Weird Science. I got this plot summary from www.imdb.com and if you have any other questions about the movie you should visit that site.

Two unpopular teenagers, Gary and Wyatt, fail at all attempts to be accepted by their peers. Their desperation to be liked leads them to "create" a woman via their computer. Their living and breathing creation is a gorgeous woman, Lisa, who's purpose is to boost their confidence level by putting them into situations which require Gary and Wyatt to act like men. On their road to become accepted they encounter many hilarious obstacles, which gives the movie an overall sense of silliness.

Yulia is supposed to be like the character Gary, who was played by Anthony Michael Hall in the movie. Lena is supposed to be the character Wyatt, who was played by Ilan Mitchell-Smith in the movie.Ivan is playing Ivana, who is supposed to be the character Lisa, who was played by Kelly LeBrock in the movie.

Chapter 1 Weird Science

“ Are you ready Yulia?”

“ Yeah, I think so.”

“ Okay, take off your bra and put it on your head.”

“ But Lena, I don’t wear bras…”

“ Oh right. I’ll give you one of mine.”
The girl walked to her dresser and pulled out a bra, saying, “ Here, catch!” as she threw it across the room to her waiting friend.

The smaller girl thanked the red head as she struggled to put the bra on correctly.

“ Wow! Lena guess what!”

Without looking at the other girl Lena answered, “ What?”

“ My ass cheeks are C-cups!”

Finally turning around and facing Yulia, Lena sighed and said, “ Your head Yulia. I told you to put it on your head.”

“ But look at it Lena.” Yulia turned around to show Lena her behind. “ It lifts AND tucks! It’s like butt cleavage!” The raven-haired beauty was now shaking her butt like one of Nelly’s groupies.

“ You…are…unbelievable…” Without thinking Lena pulled back on the bra stretching is at least a foot away from her friend’s butt and let it snap back. Yulia stumbled from the force of the bra hitting her ass and ended up on the floor.

As she rubber her bottom Yulia said, “ Ouch cabbibles, Lena! Was that necessary?”

“ Nope, but it sure was funny.”

The younger girl mumbled, “ Ha ha. Very funny.” under her breath as she positioned the bra on her head. “ I’m ready.”

“ Ok.” Lena sat down in her computer chair and got ready to initiate the creation of their dream woman.
“ One…two…three…GO!” As Lena pushed the computer key, there was a rapid flash of lighting that surged through the whole house. Both girls were thrown to the floor as a figure started to form before their eyes. After the smoke settled, Lena and Yulia had their eyes transfixed on the beautiful woman that stood before them.

“ Lena did this bra by any chance come with matching underwear?”

After a couple seconds Lena answered still in awe, “ Yeah…why?”

“ I went wee in mine…” After her confession Yulia started to pout. “ Sorry Lenochka…I didn’t get any on the floor though, I swear!”

Lena was too intrigued by the girl before her however. “ Yeah, ok…just go change. Don’t make any sudden movement though. You might scare…it…”

The small girl shuffled over to the dresser for some clothes then into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.

“ AHHHH!” The sudden noise made the woman scream.

Equally frightened Lena screamed as well. “ JESUS YULIA! YOU’RE A MORON!”

A blushing Yulia came out of the bathroom in clean pants. “ Sorry…”

“ It’s ok. Just come over here. If she’s going to be living and hanging out with us, we need to name her.”

Raising her finger like she was going to make a point Yulia said, “ A ha! I shall call it Ivana!”

08-12-2003, 02:38
“ Ivana? Like Ivana Trump?” Lena asked not exactly sure why her partner came up with that name.

“ Ivana like…Ivana…Please can we call it Ivana? Pretty please with sugar on top?!”

“ If you shut up.”

“ Yay! Okies!”

Moving closer to the woman, Lena tried talking to her. “ Hello. I’m Lena, and that’s my friend Yulia. Your name is Ivana. Can you understand me?”

“ Of course I can understand you. Can you understand me when I say, you need a mint?”

Lena wasn’t prepared for this kind of sarcasm, but she checked her breath anyways. After popping in a mint she continued.

“ So you know that we made you so we could look cooler, right?”

“ Yes of course. I just wasn’t expecting to be created by two young girls. Usually hormonal teenage boys use me.”

Hopping up and down Yulia shouted, “ Ooh ooh, we’re lesbians!”

Imitating Yulia, Lena hopped up and down and said, “ Ooh ooh, shut up!”
Yulia stopped grinning and Lena continued talking to Ivana.

“ So yeah…we’re lesbians.”

Seductively Ivana moved closer to Lena and brushed her hand down the front of Lena’s shirt. Then simply replied, “ That’s ok. I bat for both teams…if you know what I mean.”

Now blushing deeply, Lena managed to stutter, “ Y…yes, ma’am…”

Jumping between the two girls, Yulia smacked Ivana’s hand away and looked her straight in the eye saying, “ That’s my beeotch. Bounce before I bust a cap.”

Shoving the smaller girl aside Lena said, “ Yeah, she was dropped a lot as a baby. She’s slightly retarded, but I love her any way.”

“ Aww how nice! So what are we going to do? Sit in this room all day?” The woman’s voice was dripping with sarcasm.

08-12-2003, 03:22
now this is hilarious!

i've gotta have more.

08-12-2003, 20:56
“ Uh…are you hungry? We could get
some food.”

“ Ok. Let’s go then.”

“ Uh, ok. Is pizza ok?”

“ Yes. It’s fine, but can we please just leave!”

“ Okay!” Lena rushed Ivana and Yulia down the stairs as she quickly grabbed her keys, and walked out the door.

There was a deafening silence in the car as the three girls drove, until Yulia dared to speak.

“ So Ivana, we control you, eh?
Whatever we want you do?”

“ Yeah something like that…”

Looking smug Yulia crossed her arms over he chest and leaned back into her seat. “ Sweet.”

Silence once again enveloped the car until they arrived at their destination.

Ivana was disgusted at the building before her. “ Cletus’s Deep Fried Pizza Hoedown?!”


“ YULIA SHUT UP!!!” Lena yelled at the girl that was jumping up and down in the back seat before turning to Ivana.

“ Uh yeah, it’s actually really good. We can go someplace else if you like…”

“ No…this could be interesting…”

All three girls got strange stares as they made their way to the restaurant, but while Lena and Yulia looked embarrassed, Ivana kept on strutting. Yulia couldn’t help but whisper to herself, “ I like big butts and I cannot lie. You other Russians can’t deny, that when I girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and shoves that round thing in your face, you get-”

“ Howdy and welcome to Cletus’s Deep Fried Pizza Hoedown! How many people are joining the hoedown this evening?” The waiter had a horribly obnoxious and clearly fake Southern drawl.

“ Shut up Roland, we come here every week, you really don’t need to do that.”

Unimpressed Roland said, “ Someone’s on the rag now aren’t they?” in a condescending tone.

“ Roland, we have three people. Seat us or you’re balls are going bye bye.”

Extending his hand the young man showed the girls to their table. “ Is there anything else you need Czar Lena?”

“ No fart knocker, you can go.”

“ Thank you, your highness.” Roland bowed towards Lena before walking away.

“ I HATE that guy. Hey…Ivana can you kill people?”

“ No.”

“ Shit.” Discouraged, Lena decided to look at her menu.

About 10 minutes passed until Roland, the waiter, came back to take everyone’s order.

“ So what do y’all want?”

Yulia started. “ I’ll have the deep fried pickle pizza with a side of Oreos and coleslaw…oh and a Slippery Nipple!”

“ And for the pretty older woman?”

“ A bottle of Stoli and a large glass with ice.”

“ Understandably. And for you Czar Lena?”

“ How about a glass of SHUT THE HELL UP and…hmmm…chicken finger and bacon pizza.”

Ivana was bored so she decided that she should ad least try to get to know her creators.

She asked how old they were and then plastered a fake smile on her face. Yulia was preoccupied with the sugar at the table so Lena answered for her.

“ I’m 18 and Yulia’s 17. We’re both seniors though. How old are you?”

“ Legal. What do you do for fun?”

“ We both really like to sing, play piano, and write poetry. Yulia likes scaring little kids too.”

Looking up from what she was going Yulia nodded and grinned evilly.

Slightly panicked Ivana asked, “ Is she safe? She doesn’t have rabies does she?”

Lena smiled at Yulia and mussed up her hair, then replied, “ Yeah, she’s okay. Kind of weird. But okay.”

“ Good…so are you guys virgins?”

“ Umm…what do you consider virginity?”

“ Have you guys fucked yet?” Ivana was slightly annoyed at Lena’s stupid question, but when Lena blushed she wasn’t sure if it was because they had engaged in sexual activity or if they really were virgins. The red head opened her mouth to answer, but was interrupted by the arrival of their food.

09-12-2003, 02:51
Deep fried pickle pizza? *shudders*

Funny though....*very* funny. I'm enjoying this fic!


10-12-2003, 00:30
i am sooo diggin' this!

can i have some more please? :D