View Full Version : Horrorscopes: Ready for a little honesty?
Found this through the diary of an acquaintance. It's a horoscope of sorts, but this only mentions bad traits, hehe.
ETA: Link (http://www.flooble.com/fun/horoscope.php). Forgetful much?
This is mine:
Aquarius
(Water Bearer)
January 20 - February 18
A hopeless and helpless dreamer, forever out of touch with reality, an Aquarius is ever lost in his own fantasy world.
Yep! Indeed I am... :gigi: It's far more interesting inside my head, hehe.
He never returns money he borrows, for immediately upon borrowing it, he spends it and forgets about the debt.
Er... :dead: Not true, I'm too proud to borrow money.
An Aquarius constantly breaks his promises, and hates nothing more than working.
Well, that's why I no longer make any promises and I do hate other things more than work.
People born under this sign love badmouthing and making fun of those that are close to them, but always behind their back.
Not exactly true, I've become rather cynical lately. :hmmm:
An Aquarius is drawn to greasy junk food and cheap action novels, both of which he buys in untold quantities.
Action novels, me? Don't think so... Psychological thrillers or descriptive novels are more my thing.
His vacation is usually spent holed up in some god-forsaken bar, since he has spent all his getaway money on one of his uncounted projects destined to make the world a better place for humanity.
Ouch! That hurts... :hmmm: :bum: But not exactly true, since I don't do alcohol.
- sk.
Aquarius:
A hopeless and helpless dreamer, forever out of touch with reality, an Aquarius is ever lost in his own fantasy world.
Yah, I love fantasy world! But the fact that I feel hurt from time to time means I'm still in reality. Hee hee.
He never returns money he borrows, for immediately upon borrowing it, he spends it and forgets about the debt. An Aquarius constantly breaks his promises, and hates nothing more than working.
I don't borrow money. At all. But I do break my promises quite often. Only the unimportant ones, like dates.
People born under this sign love badmouthing and making fun of those that are close to them, but always behind their back.
Nope, I made fun of them in their faces. And they laugh! My talent. :D
An Aquarius is drawn to greasy junk food and cheap action novels, both of which he buys in untold quantities.
I don't remember the last time I ate junk food. And I rarely read novels.
His vacation is usually spent holed up in some god-forsaken bar, since he has spent all his getaway money on one of his uncounted projects destined to make the world a better place for humanity.
Lol! This one is so far off! I love to spend my $$ traveling (far far away). ^_^ Saving humanity? In another life when I'm not Aquarius, maybe.
madeldoe
28-09-2003, 23:35
Gemini (Twins)
Born May 21 - June 20
Eternally childish - both intellectually and emotionally, a Gemini simply refuses to grow up, and will often mooch of off someone until old age.
my nick at my old high school was "moocher" LMAO my quote: "if i had a dollar for every dollar i had borrowed.....can i borrow a dollar?? " LOL aye..you dont make money by spending money.. :p
His only true passion is pointless chatter, which he has mastered to perfection. A Gemini can talk for hours without ever getting to the point.
LMAO :yes: urr..im more than my mouth? :D
He reads little, but has an opinion on every issue - even though he will change it about a dozen times a week. It is not uncommon for a Gemini to become an actor or at least a "writer".
hmm :yes:
Geminis can't stand stress - neither physical nor mental.
oh god yes :yes:
Even though a Taurus loves to entertain guests, at best, he will have nothing more to offer than soda and chips. Usually though, it's just his endless and pointless ramblings.
WTF..why did it say taurus?? :bebebe: well anyway, thats why i dont throw the parties..i go to em..:coctail:
:eek: oO..this is the first horroscope thingy that had no mention of a gemini's dual personality..
QueenBee
29-09-2003, 00:30
Even the name is accurate - hardiharhar. :gigi:
Virgos posess all the charm of an rhinoceros and the brains of a rabbit.
Thank you very much :spy:
They are petty and greedy, annoying and argumentative.
OH YEAH!? Well you can kiss me somewhere!
Virgos' lack of knowledge and imagination makes them unberable for colleagues and difficult for family.
Lack of IMAGINATION? Stop :P
With her incessent nit-picking, a Virgo is capable of grinding any endeavor to a screeching halt, and driving even even a patient person to the brink of madness.
I have NO IDEA what this text says :ithink:
She never improvises, planning out every action weeks in advance down to the most boring and minute detail, much to the chagrin of anyone else who may be involved.
So true :P But at least I don't let people know *tsk tsk*
Anything a Virgo does is precipitated by cold logical calculation. Every action is respectable, predictable and boring.
No way Josй! I surprise with extreme things :P So don't give me that bullsh*t. :mad:
Pfff..
Petty, annoying and a whiny pain in the neck, a Taurus loves to brown-nose and is often a snitch to boot. In life and work, always blows with the wind, and runs to answer to his supperiors' smallest whim.
:laugh:
A chronic poser (will pass himself for an altruist, or in the case of a woman - a tortured soul), while harboring contempt for those around him, and in his mind fancying himself the center of the universe.
:laugh:
A Taurus loves wealth, and will greedily collect it in secret for most of his life. He is willing to sacrifice the last bit of wealth for a good cause - as long as it's someone else's.
:laugh:
Ego-centric, with a sadistic streak, he will terrorise his family from childhood until his old age, all the while managing to project the appearance of love and kindness.
:laugh:
Tauruses love preferential treatment, and will usurp such privileges whenever possible.
:laugh:
A Pisces cannot live without lies and treachery.
:eek: :D :bum:
They often get so wrapped up in their own tall tales that they can easily forget which of their stories are true and which are not.
A Pisces constantly contradicts herself, and is always trying to wriggle out of a lie somebody has called her on. She will generally not profit from such fruitless tasks, but that's fine by her - she's doing it for the art.
Additionally a Pisces loves nothing more than to stick her nose into someone else's dirty laundry. Pretending to be a self-taught psychoanalyst she will pry into people's secrets, which she will later manipulate and trade through her own self-styled network of spies.
Incapable of working, or for that matter doing anything remotely useful, a Pisces has no interest for aquiring such abilities. Forcing her to do so is nearly impossible - she will simply wriggle out and disappear.
now where the hell are those sources come from? who's invent those analysis? :D
goosh .. am i so j/k? :rolleyes:
Devilish Yulia
29-09-2003, 02:50
Cruel, cold and heartless, the Capricorn has all the warmth of an iceberg in January. He is a tyrant at work and an inquisitor at home.
its a she! now that is ture cos i dont reject ppl so easily:spy:...unless ur on my nerves 24/7 then i will reject u!
my parents own the business so of course im a tyrant!...inquisiter...wat does dat mean?:confused:
A Capricorn sees picking on others as one of the major reasons for his existence. He will get worked up over minor infractions, and is completely devoid of sense of humor. It is not uncommon for a Capricorn to be abusive towards his (her) significant other, be it a spouse or a best friend.
i got an attitude but i dont know how to use it!then again i never even use it!...known as the hilarious one in my group of friends:coctail:...and i do get worked up over minor infractions...im not that abusive towards my friends now am i?:spy:
Capricorns will back down only if faced with a threat of physical force, or intence psychological pressure.
k now the first one...its normally the other ppl that back out cos of my physical force[no im not a meanie!] and i really havent got a clue bout the 2nd one. lena studies psychology...well she could probably back me down...i hope in a good way that is:D
Intellectually primitive, lacking any semblance of imagination, he is nevertheless vengeful to the extreme - the word "forgiveness" is not in his vocabulary.
i do not lack any semblace of imagination! i have a good not to mention quite naughty imagination!!:D yes im quite extreme in my sports! i do forgive ppl...at least i think i do...
Capricorns posess the rare combination of delusions of greatness and low self esteem - all with minimal mental capacity. This is why so many are found among upper and middle management.
how true!...mental at home not skool! im already the wealthyest/richest in the skool!:rolleyes: and my parents already own 2 multi-award winning businesses!...opening a third one in 2 weeks and i *HAVE* to be the manager of all of them when im older!
p.s i think u guys already know wat business our family own after my blabbing round the forum!...oh and sorry for the loooong post!
From the early age, Leos are inclined towards drunkennes and extortion. When it comes to anything else, they show a remarkable degree of laziness. As a child, a Leo will typically demand a lot of money from parents, then from friends and even casual aquaintances.
LOL, i am lazy... But i can count the times i've been drunk on one hand and i've never borrowed money from anyone.
His overly developed pride and narcissism can ruin the life of anyone who he has come into even passing contact with, while his gluttony is capable of bankrupting even the deepest set of pockets. Amazingly, even though Leos eat a lot and without stop, they never gain any weight.
"pride and narcissism" LOL, this is so not me, i don't think very highly of myself, no reason to really... And i don't see how i could ruin anyone's life, people generally don't remember me!
I probably eat more than i should, and i don't eat very healthy food, but yeah, i never gain weight, i'm very thin, some might say skinny...
They like to have the world revolve around them, which is why they strive to be the best at anything they do. If they are not successful at this, they will languish and lose weight.
Again so not me, i'm not the center of anything and i'm not the best at anything, and that does not worry me at all.
A Leo's dominant character traits are usually an unshakable delusion of grandure and an elevated feeling of self-importance.
They're kinda repeating themselves, aren't they... And LOL @ the spelling of "grandure"... :rolleyes:
raven ryuu
29-09-2003, 09:40
Here we go:
Scorpios are highly dangerous, even at a distance. They cheat and lie, live for intrigue, and take pleasure in destroying.
Damn... I normally don't intend to come off as dangerous or mean :ithink: But I've been told that people avoid me if they don't know me, just because I look like I might hurt them, so I guess this is true? :spy: And I think they exaggerated the last sentence. :gigi:
Pathological sadists and masochists simultaneously, they will not find any means too low or dishonorable if it can aid in reaching their goals.
I don't think this is true of me. I am known to take the easy way out, or the shortest distance to get to things...but that doesn't mean my choices are low and dishonorable :znaika:
Going to great lengths, they will strive to create a positive image of themselves, just so they can backstab an opponent when he least expects it.
LOL -- I don't think I've ever done this :lol:
Their career is built on the bodies of their more scrupulous victims. If a Scorpio just told you how much he values your friendship, be certain he has already ratted you out to the boss in an attempt to curry favor.
That is so not true of me. I am a very loyal person and friend. Maybe these people are thinking of some other Scorpio :blabla:
Scorpios are famous for their affinity to dirty jokes and cheap porno movies. They will spread rumors about their sexual conquests, cruelly smearing anyone unlucky enough to be involved with them.
On the first sentence, I plea the fifth amendment :lalala:
The second sentence about spreading rumors and tarnishing others' reputations -- not true. :rolleyes:
Well...that was amusing. I think horoscopes overgeneralize traits that are found in all kinds of people, at one time or another. But still, it's fun :p
febrika, O.M.G. !! ..Now I know
Denial is going to think twice now and ask same questions many times to make sure if its true or not ... :yes:
From the early age, Leos are inclined towards drunkennes and extortion.
Hmmm...I dunno about "extortion". No comment on the "drunkenness". :rolleyes:
When it comes to anything else, they show a remarkable degree of laziness. As a child, a Leo will typically demand a lot of money from parents, then from friends and even casual aquaintances.
I'll be the first to admit that I am terribly lazy.
I am also obsessed with money. I used to steal money from my parents when I was in school. My mother never gave me decent pocket-money so I just took it. It wasn't much but it allowed me a few extra magazines each month.
His overly developed pride and narcissism can ruin the life of anyone who he has come into even passing contact with...
Usually it's my own life I end up ruining.
...while his gluttony is capable of bankrupting even the deepest set of pockets. Amazingly, even though Leos eat a lot and without stop, they never gain any weight.
Well, I'm not broke yet. And now that I have a job and pay my own way I don't like accepting money from anyone else.
I don't eat non-stop but I don't eat healthy either.....and I've never been overweight in my life!
A Leo's dominant character traits are usually an unshakable delusion of grandure and an elevated feeling of self-importance.
Nope. I hate myself. There's no self-importance here.
Well, that character analysis wasn't totally accurate but it wasn't far off.
Lol. :P
Libra
You have to be a real loser to be born a Libra. Libras are born with two left hands, both of which grow out of their ass. They are tone-deaf and generally have poor eyesight. The senses of self-esteem and humor are in embryotic states at best.
i think i have two hands, not tone deaf at all [it'd be hard to play music/sing with tone deafness], and i have decent eyesite. no glasses LOL O.o
Libras never have any money, their love life is usually a non-starter and they have notoriously bad luck both at work and at home. Pictures of mediocrity, they are incapable of standing out, surprising, outperforming.
no argument there. i'm broke. this institution has drained my funds, and i'll be in debt for years afterwards. and as for my lovelife...>.<
hopefully those other things are not true.
Genetically unable to make any decision, they begin to convulse and sweat profusely whenever faced with a choice more important than "paper or plastic?". This is why their whole life they let others decide for them.
oy, i'm so very indecisive about the most insignificant things, like..where to eat. i dont let ppl decide stuff for me, maybe they could cook for me instead :gigi:
While they love to present themselves as patrons of the arts, their knowledge in the area runs no further than they can throw a grand piano.
i SO can throw a grand piano. i can hurl it 50 ft. :D pfffffffft however i AM an artiste, of sorts :heh:
:dead:
raven ryuu, w00t w00t! Another scorpio! :D
Scorpios are highly dangerous, even at a distance. They cheat and lie, live for intrigue, and take pleasure in destroying.
Pathological sadists and masochists simultaneously, they will not find any means too low or dishonorable if it can aid in reaching their goals.
Going to great lengths, they will strive to create a positive image of themselves, just so they can backstab an opponent when he least expects it.
Their career is built on the bodies of their more scrupulous victims. If a Scorpio just told you how much he values your friendship, be certain he has already ratted you out to the boss in an attempt to curry favor.
Scorpios are famous for their affinity to dirty jokes and cheap porno movies. They will spread rumors about their sexual conquests, cruelly smearing anyone unlucky enough to be involved with them.
:spy: I somehow feel offended by this horrorscope.
EeZeReal
30-09-2003, 02:06
Usually a Sagittarius will come off as a blissfully happy idiot. In most cases, this first impression will prove accurate. His moronic enthusiasm cannot be dampened by anything - not even by a cinder block falling on his head.
LMAOOOOOOO... Apart from that being total BS in my case, it was still comical to read. :P
After talking to a Sagittarius for five minutes, you will want to kill him quickly but painfully.
HAHAHAHA... How roooooooooood.... :(
From the early age, a Sagittarius will have developed the infuriating habit of forcing his stupid ideas and his company onto anyone who might so much as walk by.
Stupid ideas???? :spy: Makes us sound like a pack of mindless idiots..
An aggressive optimist, a Sagittarius will require a lot of work in a relationship.
..And again
He usually makes a habit of inventing stories and lying outright, which he rationalizes by what he thinks are good intentions.
LOOOL... Well I lie, but eh.. not to that extent.. :P
A Sagittarius usually loves crouds and loud social situations, as well as any place where he can enjoy a meal and a drink without paying for them.
Finally something I can agree with... :coctail:
Well that was sure errrrrm.... "Fun"
Originally posted by THEvolkovaADDICT
After talking to a Sagittarius for five minutes, you will want to kill him quickly but painfully.
Seeing a Saggi on the internet, reboot your computer immediately!
From the early age, a Sagittarius will have developed the infuriating habit of forcing his stupid ideas and his company onto anyone who might so much as walk by.
Please, refer to the latest news at http://eng.tatysite.net/
An aggressive optimist, a Sagittarius will require a lot of work in a relationship.
Who won't! A relationship is always about working on different aspects at the same time. :lol:
He usually makes a habit of inventing stories and lying outright, which he rationalizes by what he thinks are good intentions.
No doubt about it. Saggi must have created t.A.T.u.!
A Sagittarius usually loves crouds and loud social situations, as well as any place where he can enjoy a meal and a drink without paying for them.
Welcome to tatysite.net! Enjoy your time with us! :coctail:
Originally posted by forre
He usually makes a habit of inventing stories and lying outright, which he rationalizes by what he thinks are good intentions.
No doubt about it. Saggi must have created t.A.T.u.!
:confused: How could I reply to that thread after you, my "Brainy Forre"!!!...arwwwww.......:kwink:
After talking/reading to a Sagittarius for five minutes, you will want to kill him quickly ...
DEFINITIVELY RIGHT!...*Who wants to be my bodyguard? :spy:
From the early age, a Sagittarius will have developed the infuriating habit of forcing his stupid ideas and his company onto anyone who might so much as walk by.
Right
An aggressive optimist, a Sagittarius will require a lot of work in a relationship.
Right/Wrong......*..into growing old saggi becomes too lazy..then that functions or that doesn't function...that's all ..no more questions...no more wasting time for that..*
He usually makes a habit of inventing stories and lying outright, which he rationalizes by what he thinks are good intentions.
Wrong....:eek: *Saggi have created t.A.T.u.?!!...GREAT!! :done:
A Sagittarius usually loves crouds and loud social situations, as well as any place where he can enjoy a meal and a drink without paying for them.
Wrong...*there are two kinds of Sagittarius: 1/ those which travel and leave to discovered the world physically: they like to meet the others.. and 2/ those which travel in their head..I belong to the second category: I hate crowd...
YLuelniaa
04-10-2003, 21:32
i will refrain from posting mine cause it so cruel...evidently like me...aries...shesh...i feel so incredible dumb now...
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