Yuli or Lena: Whose Gung-Fu is better?

[Me Am Hulk]

YULIA: I am the greater mistress of the martial arts! I was trained in the Temple of the Shaolin since I was a toddler! I know the styles of all Five Deadly Venoms! The SNAKE! The LIZARD! The CENTIPEDE! The MANTIS! And the dreaded SCORPION!
(Yulia windmills her arms with blinding speed, motion trails tapering in their wake.)
I defy Lena - that russet-haired cretin - to engage me in one-on-one combat!

LENA: HAH! Yuli, you of the porcupine-quilled Duran Duran mullet! Your Shaolin Style pales before the might of my swordsmanship! I am tutored in the path of Zatoichi, the Blind Swordsman! I am skilled in the LONGSTAFF! The SHURIKEN! The BUTTERFLY BLADE! The WAR-FAN OF NIPPON! And the propeller-blade fury of the MAORI TAIAHA!
(Lena grabs a taiaha and decapitates five watermelons perched on wooden posts.)
I-HA-KAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

YULIA: My Shaolin training is superior to your feeble Japanese showboating!

LENA: My discipline of the mountain monks topples your Hollywood chop-socky!!

YULIA: Then have at you, you ginger whelp!

LENA: Prepare to meet Kali in HELL, porcupine pubes!

The two charge at one another.

YULIA: TET-SU-OOOOOOOO!!!
LENA: KA-NE-DAAAAAAAAA!!!!

(Who is the true mistress of the assassin's arts? YOU, dear reader, must decide!!!) :bum:

[Dent]

Tetsuo Kaneda? Isnґt that guy from Akira?

Cya

Dent :cool:

[Kappa]

Dent, one is Tetsuo, the other is Kaneda. LOL.

Me Am Hulk, I go for Lena... swordsmanship FOREVAH, yo. :P

[Echoed]

Oh, Lord. That was priceless to read. I can actually see it in my head.

Chinese movies, how reminiscent. I laugh. LOL.

And I have no idea who wins. ^_^'

~Echo.

[rivierakid]

Oh, Lena would win by a long shot. I'm sorry, but swords just plain rock! (Especially certain redheads with swords...:done: )

[parrish122]

I vote Lena as well.

Porcupine-quilled Duran Duran mullet? <Snicker> I'll be giggling over *that* phrase for days!

Parrish

[EeZeReal]

you of the porcupine-quilled Duran Duran mullet!

LMmFAO@That..... :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Sounds like a Wu Tang skit... :rolleyes:

I'll try and not make my answer biased.... .... .... .... ........... errrm Yulia.. :p

[skrtfntcwu]

Being a fencer, it's pretty obvious that Lena wins (well, maybe it's becuase i think Lena is a Gosdess).

i mean seriously, like there was any chance!



-skrt

[QueenBee]

Lena.. she's bigger. :lalala:

[Bitty2002]

ROTFL, oh dear lord. That was hilarious, thank you so much for sharing. Hmmm...my vote is that they fight for two days straight, become increasingly tired and eventually fall into eachother's arms huffing and puffing and calling a truce. Which of course leads to making out. Yes this is my guess. lol.

[PuNKeR]

I read an event which is(Tatu star Lena Katina needed treatment from doctors after a vicious catfight with bandmate Yulia Volkova left her with leg injuries.)
so my vote is go to Yulia.

[Disengage]

Are you people mad? Anyone possessing all 5 deadly venoms would be unstoppable. Somehow I think Yulia would be a master of the drunken, though. This movie should definitely happen.



Hey "HULK", my friend is indeed the real Hulk. I once saw him turn green and beat the s--- out of his dad in McDonald's because he got pickles on his burgers.

[parrish122]

*Laughs* I think I like Bitty's answer the best so far!

And I just had to share this...a girl came into where I work last night, and she had spiked hair. I thought about the "Porcupine-quilled" comment, and had to fight not to laugh. :D

Parrish

[karxwp]

dangit I'm at crossroads....I'm a yuliafan but I'm a fan of swords...(as a matter of fact last week I bought a nice katana :D) well....mmmm who cares! Yulia's better! :D

[Uhaku]

I vote Yulia. Simply cus one of her future hairstyles would match Bruce Lee's. And that's more than enough to decide who's going to win this match.

[Kappa]

uhaku, hadn't noticed that. :lol: Maybe she could be Bruce's OTHER daughter? *goes back to a ludicrous tabloid she read last week about Bruce leaving children all around*

[haku]

That's the first time i smiled visiting that forum in a long time! :)

Well, i'm as biased as TvA so i vote Lena! :p

But i agree with Bitty2002, as soon as Lena will have Yulia in her power, this will turn into a heated make-out session! And more if the rating of the movie allows it! That way we'd really get to see who's the mistress! :D

[ihavetatusleeve]

I could just picture this!!

My vote is for Lena, she sounds vicious with them swords.

This would be one righteous fight - someone make this into a movie!