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volkotina
24-03-2003, 22:02
Okay, since no tomatoes were hurled my way on my last poem posting(and some recent praise. darje-did you have something to do with that?), here's another. Doesn't have a title. I'm awful with titles.


Why do I embarrass you so?
What makes you cringe when others meet me?
What have I done to inspire this contempt?
Love you?
Care for you?
Want the best for you?
I realize I am not the smartest,
The most polished,
The funniest,
But I love you.
Does that not count?
You make me feel less.
You make me feel small.
You make me feel I should be ashamed of who I am.
But still, I love you.
There is a connection between us,
Something that others do not see;
Something that you ignore,
Avoid,
Run from.
Am I wrong to want you to care?
Am I wrong to want to be appreciated?
Am I wrong to want you to treat me as I do you?
I will keep hanging on;
Being your friend,
Always there.
But will I ever know,
If I am anything more
Than your bone and flesh crutch?


Side note: Both poems are from a few years ago and I generally only write when depressed or angry.

narayana
24-03-2003, 22:09
Your poem is so sweet..... and innocent.
and............ you always have to say to Her that you feel
to make sure she does know everything - its how all will merge in harmony.......

Kappa
25-03-2003, 07:18
Very nice, youngling. ^_^ (Now, we studied this before, what does this face stand for?)

I find this one very expressive. It's almost like you're completely baring your love for the other to see that you hurt from her lack of care... (well, I'm ranting, you know me)

karxwp
25-03-2003, 18:43
very deep...you can feel the desperation, and the sadness... congratulations!

volkotina
26-03-2003, 15:02
Thanks to narayana, darje, and karxwp for the feedback! I really do appreciate it. I'm glad that others can get some meaning out of what I write.

and darje I think it's a happy face, but you know I am memory challenged, you ranter! lol

Echoed
26-03-2003, 19:58
The use of repetition is nicely balanced out with the subsequent oppositions. And all the questioning gives a nice tone to the resignation that seems unwanted but nonetheless forced into existence. Simple and to the point without blatantly saying so. Nice. ^_^ <-- I obviously use this "emoticon" as well. Yay for anime. ^.^

~Echo.