View Full Version : Empty Walls
4th of August, 2002
Empty walls, crumbling hearts, I can smell the dust on your fingers. How can I look at you with my dead eyes, when all you want to touch is the flesh that's just soft in your imagination? With a caress on my cheek, you're gone and I'm still here. But do you know what I see? I see all the lives that pass me by when I exhale. Golden breath on my lips and yours against my cheek, you want to graze your neck on my tongue. I'm dying to see you smile. I'm waiting for you to make me smile and make me mean it. And you love to find all of my secrets scattered over the grass behind my childhood playground. But, did you know that I'm still just a little too young to be writhing this way? I want the world to fall away onto the palm of my hand, while I visit the deserts filled with the remnants of my ribcage. I've often wondered if you know what it's like to swim in a cage, where water only seeps through the cracks. I'm asphyxiating on the only air I've ever known. Sometimes, I reach out for your hand, but I've never found the urge to grab hold of it. And when you do the same, all I can do is look at the way your fingers glitter with the shattered pieces of my non-memories. I'm touching my vague smile with my nails, licking away the sadness from the edges. It's so easy to lay down in the fields of my mind and piece together the laughter that should always spill from my expressionless mouth. Don't dry my tears though. I've not yet cried enough to last me this lifetime. It's too predictable where I'm going with my line of sight. Straight to the sky and down again, because I can't fly forever with my chipped wings. With all these feathers falling away, I'm not much of a bird to behold, sitting in this gilded sandbox of mine. And I can see you building sand castles for me to live in, over there in your corner with your pretty yellow shovels and green buckets. With your red shirt and black shoes. With your brown hair and blue eyes. And it all looks gray to me. The most beautiful shades of gray I've ever seen. The clouds are making dreams for me, in the form of blankets and planes. [Don't give up on me.] I'm barely holding on by my fingertips. I swear I'll let go any minute now. There's only so much fatigue before I embrace the sweet tasting apathy that resides just a little left of my lungs. Cut a little sliver against my spine, and let my marrow fill all of my breath. It'll be the life I never knew I could have.
Kiss my wrists, I promise they'll stop bleeding. I promise.
---
Inspired by "The Virgin Suicides (http://www.paramountclassics.com/virginsuicides/html_3/index.html)" by Jeffrey Eugenides, screenplay by Sofia Coppola.
Lurve that movie.
~Echo.-Noct.
I still remember the day you asked me the same question.... Would you travel afar to reach for something you never had? Just take another breath. Would you put up a smile just to bring joy to those that doesn't know you, for the ones that do can see through the facade? Just let air fill your lungs. Would you rush things for the sake of a dream that was just never meant to be? Just enjoy the tasteless air. Would you just take a little rest, without being afraid of remaining stuck forever....? But you know, i would gladly give up on air, just to experience life at it's fullest... as long as my body could stand the lack of oxygen. And even then, i wouldn't die. Because i would have been alive. Just for once. But i would have been. And I'd kiss your wrists, but i couldn't stand the taste of your blood. I don't deserve that much. There's only so much guilt i can stand. But still, if i could, i would try. You deserve no less... If only to crave, crave for anything...
That was one of my fave piece of yours ^_^ I just can't explain how effortlessly your words flow... I wish i could write something as powerfull as this. Lol. Keep writting. ^_^
*edited*
Silver streetlamps won't last forever.
Your shaking hands won't stay together.
Electric hearts are beating in the neon lights,
Take a little blood, you'll last the entire night.
Hold on tight, I'm only a step away.
Don't try to fight, I'll be there today.
The wind will rise, and quietly die.
But just run along, it won't lie.
Taste the rain from the graying clouds.
It's sweeter than those looming shrouds.
Hold on tight, don't go away.
Just try to fight, there has to be a way.
I'm standing by the old playground swings.
I'm holding on to my dolls and pretty little things.
But don't be mistaken by my large eyes.
I know all about my failed tries.
Hold me tight, I won't go away.
I'm going to fight, I'm going to make a way.
With steel monsters and red dreams,
The nights will last long with moonlit beams.
But hold one single candle to my fingers,
And the flames will dance and linger.
Hold on tonight, we'll wake to the day.
We'll want to fight, till the break of day.
---
Yar har har. :D Seven minutes. That was nice, man. ^_^ Keep writing! Very cool. We should keep this going. Lol. One piece after another. See how far it goes. Mahaha.
~Echo.
He looks around with big, reddish eyes,
"What are you searching for, child?"
Scared, he reaches for his inner ice,
"There's nothing in here that went wild."
He traces with pain the lines of his fate,
"You look so down, I don't understand."
Refraining his hand, he just sits to wait.
"I'm doing just fine, please don't try to bend."
He tries to ponder about the ways of his lies,
"Why now doing so, I never heard you lying."
He fears to be found guilty again, so he tries,
"That's just because you never heard me crying."
He stumbles, blinded by the warm sunlight,
"When will you just rest and accept solace?"
Waves of sorrow reverb through his might,
"I've gone too far, I just can't return to my place."
...where I don't belong anymore, anyway.
Lol. Uhm... one hour or so. You know i'm at a disadvantage here... you could prolly write for a living, and my english just plain sux... ^^;; Oh well.
Btw, I liked lots your poem :D
take a ride
by my side
*
run and hide
dont confide
Hark, do mine ears deceive my fragile thought?
Fie! Hast thou now broken what had been bought?
'nother failing hand at swordplay, I see.
Bothered to try yet again, you shan't be.
So easily taken 'part at the seams,
So greedily ready for more dreams.
Lost little boys belong not on the beach,
They would find nightmares and heartaches to preach.
Don't break now, I'm coming to find you.
Don't wake now, I'm coming to bind you.
Don't shake now, I'm not going to mind you.
I'll fake it, I'll break you.
I'll make it, I'll take you.
Stay,
Don't say,
You won't play,
It's been a day,
You said you would stay.
---
I can't write for a living. Lol. Trust me. Your English is fantastic! :done: For a language you probably don't speak everyday on a constant basis, you done good. ^.^
Your stuff's rockin', yo. :D
~Echo.
Trapped inside a child's heart,
the sheer force of logic hurts.
Wrapped in the crimson light,
scared to death by her sight.
[This]
Feeling of doom, will ever bloom...
Money means nothing to me,
but I can be used, you see.
Feelings for you to pound,
wishes to smack around.
If i could decide my fate, I would not hesitate...
You may think something it's not,
maybe just tying a knot.
Same goes for me, I can tell,
I'm feeling [b]cornered as well.
[Yes]
All the things she said...
All the things he said...
Running through my head...
There's so much we don't know,
To allow this game flow,
But you know,
I'll stay...
...till the end of this play. Till the end of these days.
Wheee... thx ^_^ Needless to say, my english has improved somewhat lately by reading loads of *cough* quality stuff. Lol. But still, i had never really written anything before. Not even in my own tongue. ^^;
j00 r0x0r :D
"My truth is your lie. My lie is your truth."
Are you reaching for my hand? Do you think I'll take it? Are we taking turns? Maybe it's a game of hide-and-seek. A game of catch-me-if-you-can. Are we dreaming? Are we waiting to wake in a brand new world? Don't you know that there are galaxies of choices on your star-ridden shoulders? I'm weaving my story with broken fingernails and bleeding hands. Barefeet and bared heart, I'm a walking fool, waiting for a cliff to dive from. Are you already there? Are you sitting by the edge? Maybe we could fly... What do you think? I made wings of wax... I could reach the clouds and melt away... I could fall into the ocean and find my way to the very depths that keep safe my secrets. I'll breathe water and live life by a whim. Are you coming along now? I wonder...
---
You've been reeeaaading. ^_~ The Red Light.
I liked that one. Very gooood. :D
This was short. Lol. Streaming thoughts. Two minutes. Oh well. ^_^''
~Echo.
"Walking on thin ice"
We may belive it. We may not. Walking the wire? How about three? My fault. As always. But it's not her... I'm free to choose, but i have no choice. FOoD for thought. A broken puzzle? All wrong pieces seem to fit together... A day high can fuck up your entire life... Then again, pity can do the same. Silence is a double-edged blade, don't you agree? Sharp edge. What do you think? But, weren't you scared by heights? Aren't you scared of drowning? But still want to go to the dephts? Walking on thin ice is just the same. Are you following me? I wonder...
Talk about short.. lol. It's something resembling streaming thoughts, because i can't really think in english. ^^; Lol.
All of this use of my misuse, of this game, of my fame, it's for fortune, it's for certain. It's not for me, it's not to see, I'm just a child, I'm not too wild. You have to understand, you have the upper hand. I'm walking on water. Now, don't you dare falter, I've only just begun, it's only just for fun. We could go on for nights and nights, we could keep on for fights and fights. There's still time for a dime to be thrown out, to be blown out, on some beggar, on some leper, on someone like me. I'm no one, you see. So let us have another bout, you know what it's really about. But don't turn to look back, and don't burn what you lack, we still have another light year ahead, we still have another bright tear to shed. Bring it on, boy. I'm not a toy. I'll handle it just fine, and I'll take back what's mine. Come after me, I'll follow you. Come back to me, I'll shelter you. Come here and breathe, I'll not be a bother. Come here and seethe, you know that I'm not her. So walk back to me, so talk back at me.
---
That was pretty good on your part. :D
And this is gettin' fun. I lurves me some writin'. ^_^ Hee. (And that mutilation of iambic pentameter that I'm doing. Lol.)
~Echo.
If it, it's not her. If it, it's not for her. I'm just a void, I'm just paranoid, too many coincidences, too much indifference. Led myself to belive, you did want to team, you did want to live, you did want to dream. But I paid my price, you were not playing twice. I found my way to trouble, you were not playing double. Wanton eyes, playful minds, hearts of ice, tricky finds. But it all seemed so right ... it all fitted so tight ... But we're already bleeding ... we're already pleading ... Another boulder on my weary shoulders. I just can't say, I don't know how, I want to stay. You're the one in control. I'm just stuck in a hole. You have to understand, I will die by your hands. I never lied to you, I always stood true, just look back and play detective, look at things from a different perspective. Playing swords right, playing swords true. True to me, true to you. You have to see, it's not for me. It's not for fun. Not meant to be. But I won't run. I will not hide. I will not turn. I'm going to ride. I will confide. This will go on, you're not no one. I'm on your side. I'm by your side. Please, do not worry, don't say you're sorry. You deserve everything, every thing. Please, don't be confused, don't feel misused. Pretty dolls pay not petty tolls. You know in the end it will all make sense. And it will be, like by default, like everytime. It's all my fault.
That was really nice. :D
Fun? Everything's relative, doll. ^_~ I'm so slow at writing.. bleh. Ah well. ^^;; You sure lurves writin' yo. ^_^ Lol.
*edit: i noticed a few grammatical and sintactical errors, so I slightly edited it. ^^; Oh well.*
Would you look at that. He's playing the martyr. Smirk.
"Shut up."
What? Don't you agree with me? You know I'm right. Chuckle.
"I don't need you to see."
Ooo. I can just feel your spirit. Never knew you had a backbone. Grin.
"Leave me alone."
Aww... is the little girl all frightened? Sneer.
"Not by you."
Not by me? Dear girl, I am you.
And I'm as ugly as you get.
~
Don't be curt, I'm not hurt. I'm just thoughtless, I just fought this. There's only so much to me, there's only so much I see. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. That's all I know how to say. That's the only song I play. How about you? You do it too. Over and over, you're getting colder. Where are gone the white blankets? Where are all the we'll-make-it's? Not here, I fear. There's only me to set me free. "Would you give me a hand?" I'd ask. "It's not all too hard of a task." What would you say? What is your way? You can hang around, and wait till I'm found. You know I won't mind. I'm already blind.
---
This one was rawr. Meep. But don't mind it. ^_^'' I'm testing out the waters.
Yours was rockin'... doll. ^_~ (I see you've picked up some of my habits. Lol.) Of course, if it's not fun... Then what is it? And why continue? Either way, you're doin' fantastic. ^.^ Very interesting to read. Keep it up! (If you want to. Lol.)
~Echo.
A river starts wild, not tame, not mild.
But it settles down.
A river still flows till it drowns in the sea.
But it still goes down.
You say you won't mind me,
you say you won't bind me,
you say you won't find me,
I stumbled twice over the same boulder.
I thought I was wise.
I stumbled when I reached for your shoulder.
Now I pay my price.
I say I won't mind you,
I say I won't bind you,
I say I will find you.
Did you know she said just the same.
Now I know she was not in this game.
You know you're right,
you know I'm right.
So let us fight.
Ya rock in mah book! :D Or something like that.. Lol.
It's... enlightening, for lack of a better term. Lol. But still, i'm a n00b at writing, let alone in english... es muy difнcil... ^_^; But you know me better than that. I don't give up that easliy when it comes down to a challenge. :D
Did you trip over my hand? Did you wonder where all the stars in my eyes have gone? Do you ever think about this secret that was never mine to keep? I don't need to find you, I've already bumped into you. And look! We've both skipped a beat and missed a step! For fear of looking foolish, for fear of falling too hard. Hitting concrete is like hitting rock bottom. But we're laughing. Because we're both playing the fool and looking around at all the strangers that are not, and the hearts that I know not. Was she yours? Will he be mine? Yes and no? Most definitely, I say. But what are these bruises beneath my fingernails? What are these cuts on my palms? Shredded wrists and tear-streaked cheeks, it's all just an illusion, because there I am. Behind the mirror. Pointing and laughing at myself. And where are you? Fumbling for a towel to cover it all up. Tumbling for a broom to sweep it all away. And I keep wondering who it is you're looking for, but then, I'm too busy mocking my flopping ribcage. Mirth and nonchalance make a game of life and a reality of my fleeting breaths. I'm wringing my hands to the neon signs. I'm wondering if there's anything I can purchase for my big pockets and empty walls. You're wondering about my mind. I'm nudging yours with a grin. It's all just another story to be told another day.
---
And this is what happens when I close my eyes and type. Lol. I make no sense at all. Muy dificil? Pero, eres muy bueno, si? Definitely interesting, I must say. (Ahem. Back to studying for me now. ^_^' Meep.)
~Echo.
This secret was ours to keep. Who do you thing I was whispering to? To someone in my mind, or to you? You know it's the later. Look for loopholes, they're plenty. If you want proof, i'll give. Just ask, I'll answer. So tear me apart now, break me apart now, you know you want to. This silly dance has come to an end. Two out of four players out. The other two never knew a thing anyway. They were both just illusions. Voices inside my head.
And that's what happens when i do the same, with my eyes open cause i can't type in the dark. Lol.
There are words for you to speak. To the right person. At the right time. When you are ready for the world to come tumbling down the stairs and straight into your arms. I'm the comic relief, I'm the smile around the corner, I'm the confused grin lingering on your face. I'm not who you thought I was, but I am who you think I am. Like the wind, it's that simple.
Maybe I'm blind and numb. But I'm not deaf and dumb.
So breathe in,
Just take it easy.
It's within,
You'll make it eas'ly.
Don't you look back.
You know I'll be there.
Just stay on track
And leave your palms bare.
It'll rain stars,
We'll catch 'em all in jars.
There'll be tears,
They'll wash away your fears.
But don't you worry,
I'll be taggin' along.
I'm in no hurry,
I'll make sure nothing's wrong.
---
Lol. I can type with my eyes closed! I was surprised that nothing came out typo-ish though. Must've been a fluke. ^-^'
~Echo.
Wow Echoed. You can type and write good! :D
Thanks, goku! ^_^ If you feel like weaving into our little game, feel free to!
~Echo.
You are most certainly welcome. Anytime! :D
And as for the game, I think I'll stay out of this one.. ;)
I would stay,
What would you say?
I would stand,
Would you lend me a hand?
I can't forget,
It's not my way,
I would regret,
If I did stay.
***
The two first ones count as one. Were you aware? I can't define. If you have not understood this by now there's still so much you don't know, so much to add to this lame show. Then again, It doesn't matter anymore. This play is no more.
Yo Goku! you're welcome. I played chess with you once... and lost. ^_~ Wheee... yeah man you know me. Lol.
I write crappier by the day. I'm a n00b and I already have writer's block, or something. Lol.
Didi-Midi? Lol!!:D
Nah, you are a great writer! And I'd like to play you again. :)
We'll be running in circles until we die, and live again. Each age will be another rebirth and each fall will be another chance to fly. Nothing lingers upon my fingers but the dreams of my screams and broken bones of shattered stones. But all I need to do is stuff my hands in my pockets and it all goes away. I will always know nothing by my own doing, and it won't matter now, but it will later. Just like the now seems so useless, but only the later will tell of its importance. Moments are defined by memory, memory is subjective, subjectivity is the root of human perception, perception is but a dream. And a dream is how we fly. I'll make you electric wings, and we'll walk on neon clouds, so you can tell me nothing and everything you ever wanted for someone to hear. Let's play on. I'm still singing zephyrs to sleep.
---
Psh. Nonsense. Short'n'sweet. It doesn't need to be long to make an impact. :D You're doin' great, man. (You can still join in any time you like, Goku. Lol.)
~Echo.
Run and run, but never turn to look fordward. Blinded past, bundled future. Life is a gift, cherish those hazed memories. Look ahead only to see nothing. Look back only to see fog, where a lone shadow wallows, consumed by the smoke, not the fire. Detach, unbind, drag the waters... dreams long since forgotten. Run and run, unknown paths, landscape over destination. Day by day. Just let time slip past your grip. A fugitive not allowed to give.
Can you see, it's so pathetic.
Certainly, it's just an addict.
Find yourself surounded by smiles and love. Feel the cold that emanates from your heart, burning inside. Read ahead. Discover minds. See all the pain you caused, behind a thick coloured glass of hope. Feel unable to feel. Drown in sorrow. Hang on the paradox. Run and run, let time pass by. Taint yourself. If you're lucky, or not so, you'll have done it so many times, it won't wear off.
There's only me to save me from myself.
That's the mean I choosed for myself.
Run along this path that leads nowhere. It should be somewhere, but seemingly forgot. Hidden places, bad habits. Easy use. Tomorrow will be another day, don't get stuck in the past. Easy lie. Walk step after step, cautiously, carelessly. Bury your life underneath countless layers of pointless repetitions. Bring yourself down, your'e pretty good at that. Just, fear life.
Now I understand the power of cold blood.
Now I know nothing is all I've understood.
... and im just a child underneath, it's for everyone to see.
That thext avobe should qualify as creative thinking. Or something. Lol. Oh well. ^^;
Wonderful piece of yours. ^_^ Yo goku, write something or i won't play chess again with you. Lol. j/k
And sometimes, I just want to let my shoulders drop, and curl up in a little corner of the house. A little corner all to myself. Curl up and let my skin shed away the dust and mud that I'd gotten all over myself while I had been running through the fields to catch a star. A red star that only came every blue moon. Every skipped month, every repeated minute.
Wake up, get dressed, hop on a ride, tire your days away. What child am I? A wanton girl, that misses the days of swingsets and slides. I've never had any, so I get to pretend that I do now. I'm suffering from holding up my world in this neat little package behind a big red bow.
How about that... my fingers are jagged from too many collisions with the wall.
How about that... I'm bleeding silence with these dead eyes of mine.
How about that... the night is painting sadness on my lips that refuse to frown.
It's the melancholy of the smile that captivates me. It's the waltz that I wanted to dance down the hall that keeps me wondering when I'll ever live.
But.
I'm unheeded. I'm unneeded.
---
Well, that was horridly bad. Lol. But that's all my brain can create right at this particular moment. ^_^' Meep.
Your pieces are getting better. :D Mine are progressively getting crappier. LOL.
~Echo.
I don't understand how you can stand it.
It's easy. Nothing can be done against it.
Yes, but still ... it's just not fair.
I know, but they won't take me down.
How about this... the wall is jagged from too many collisions with your fingers.
I won't get it unless you tell me more.
But I don't have anything else to say.
I thought you wanted to be heard.
I'm heard, just not listened at.
How about this... silence bleeds with those dead eyes of yours.
Don't leave me wondering ....
I have to go now. Talk to you tomorrow..
But you know I'm leaving this evening ....
Oh, forgot. Too bad. C'est la vie.
How about this... the night is painting frowns on your lips that refuse to sadden.
*****
But, they want you near.
But, you're not they fear.
But, they feel your tear.
But, you alone can bear.
"I don't know how can't you love yourself."
Your's crappy? Lol. Just look at mine's... ^^; I'm definitely suffering from writer's block... Yay. That means at least I'm a writer. Lol.
Thanks for saying my pieces are getting better... ^_^ i can't really judge. But i have an excelent teacher. :D Sort of. Lol. I know there are still lots of spelling errors and such tho.
15th of January 2002
She sits on swing-sets with dark dancing eyes,
Preying on their smiles and sweet little lies.
Fingers in her lap, bare feet just swaying,
While she hums of them and thinks of playing.
Denim-colored pants and chains at her waist,
She's smiling secrets, giving them a taste.
Cheek against the steel of that tiny swing,
She's hissed her kindness when they would not sing.
"I'm not one to lie," she coyly proclaims.
She's well versed in these, their clever mind games.
"I remain the same; you see as you please."
They are their own fame and always on their knees.
She laughs at nightfall, though her shade remains.
She bathes in rainfall that mars her in stains.
"Tomorrow, I'll smile," she calmly murmurs,
As she keeps at bay her weak heart's tremors.
"Swing higher, higher! And up to the sky!
Way up in the clouds, I won't ever die..."
---
I thought it applied as a suitable response. Lol. I'm resorting to oooold material to save my mind the embarrassment of having nothing to produce. LOL.
Teacher. Hee. You're doing great. ^_~
~Echo.
"Would you like to have a talk?"
No. [I'm dying to confide]
"Could we rather have a walk?
No. [Please let me hide]
"Aren't you looking a bit pale?"
No. [Don't start saying that]
"Your body is trembling as well."
No. [Don't make me feel sad]
"Your throat sounds sort of tight ..."
... [I haven't talked for too long]
"Are you sure you are alright?"
Yes. [Please just leave me alone]
"Would you like to have some water?"
Yes. [I can't stand it when you beg]
"Now, are you feeling better?"
Yes. [It would happen if you left]
What you see is what you get, nothing more, nothing less.
You just can't see it all. If at all.
Not fair... ^^; Seeing that there's nothing that can save my mind from the embarrassement of not being able to produce a thing, I had to write something. Lol. Oh well.
in what i don't say
it's when i don't play
when the skies are gray
with dreams of today
touched by hands of clay
that won't ever pray
I'm not broken,
I'm not choking.
I'm a token,
I'm just soaking,
In these bright stars,
In my night scars.
Illusions mar,
Illumine far.
Ain't theh nothin' wrong, doll?
Just waitin' fer a call...
Waitin' fer nothin' at all.
In my head,
In my head,
I am dead,
I am dead.
In my bed,
In my bed,
It was red,
It was red.
So I'm walking away. Are you coming along?
The roads are lonely. I've been here too long.
---
I needs me some more inspiration. Lol. I'm beginning to get real craaaaappy. Meep.
~Echo.
I'm a nomad of the wired, I'm a soul for hire, I'm a gun unfired, and I feel so tired ... I just wander around, wherever I go is bound to take a deep wound or to feel safe and sound. I don't want trouble, I don't want pain, yet it seems to double, it seems to gain. But I also bring joy, I'm not a decoy, I'm just another toy, I'm just a silly boy.
You're not wrong, you can block. You're strong, but I'm not. So you see, I'm no one, I'm just me, I just want. I'm for you, in your mind, yours to use, I don't mind.
So.
Lets hit the road.
Lets laugh a little.
But.
This time,
no secrets,
this rhyme,
no regrets.
Er.. well, yeah. That and the PM i sent you. Lol.
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